My Grandfather-hours from death; what 's next?

by ashitaka 20 Replies latest jw friends

  • ashitaka
    ashitaka

    My mother called me and asked me to pick up my sister because my grandfather is going to pass away in a few hours. I don't know why this is moving me so much, but it is. It's like my history is passing away. I never knew him very well, but my mom was close to him in the last five years. It's hard to see.

    What do I believe now? The witnesses always had 'comfort' in the way of a religous sermon, that felt more like a JW advertisement. I wish I had some good hope for my grandfather besides a cold grave.

    I remember he and I playing with wood blocks that he had made to look like a city. He was a gifted craftsman, and could make dollhouses that would leave you in awe. He cared for my grandmother for ten years until he passed away. It's only been three months, and now we wont be able to enjoy the world, even for a little while.

    I didn't think I would be moved this much. My mother isn't a mess, and is holding up ok, which is even more sad. It's almost like she's not allowed to have her day of grief, because my JW father spouts rhetoric so much.

    Her mother just passed away about three months ago, and now this. My mother deserves better; she at least deserves a husband who will grieve with her, if only to understand her grief.

    I'm incredibly sad, and wanting a good explanation for all of it; perhaps that's why I left the JW's in the first place.

    Whatever you guys believe, please say a prayer, or if you're an athiest, wish my grandfather's memory to not be forgotten. His name is Al.

  • Mommie Dark
    Mommie Dark

    Honey YOU are the living memory of your granddad... so long as you carry him in your heart, he lives on.

    My sincere condolences on your grief sweetie.

    Love
    MD

  • outnfree
    outnfree

    (((((ashi)))))

    Warm hugs to you and your mother. I am sorry to hear about both your grandparents.

    If you grandfather cared for his wife with such devotion for ten long years, he must have loved her very dearly. Perhaps he no longer cared about living without her? Not knowing his circumstances, but I believe it IS possible to die of a broken heart.

    I know what you mean about your history passing away. But MommieD is right, he is never gone as long as you are able to remember him.

    Hugs again,

    outnfree

    When the truth is found to be lies
    and all the joy within you dies ...
    -- Darby Slick, Somebody to Love

  • thewiz
    thewiz

    ashitaka

    My prayers are with you.

    It is a sad inevitable truth. We all make the passing. No one's failed yet. I felt the same when both my grandfather's died. A whole life gone. For all-intents-and-purposes, in the blink of an eye. I have to honestly tell myself, that this is not the way God wanted it. It's much too painful.

    I also have to believe that God will rectify the problem. John 5:28,29

    I've done a rather extensive research on my paternal geneology and as I came across each person, I seen a hero, a hero that got me and my children here. Their lives may have been troubled at times, but what a journey. A celebration of lives.

    Your grandfather must be that same kind of hero for bringing in to the world such a loving, caring, and beautiful person as yourself. You have a heart that feels.

    If you have time, let him know that his life had value, that HE meant something, that HE means something to you. It's not a time for "I'm sorries" and missed opportunities, it is a time for "thank you's and love you's"

    May you and yours have peace.

  • Angharad
    Angharad

    So sorry Ash, thinking of you and your family

  • Cowboy
    Cowboy

    Ash,my thoughts are with you.My mom's parents died almost the same way,only it was my grandmother who went last.She had been in fairly good health,but just lost the will to live without him,I think.
    I wish I knew what to say about what happens now,but like you,I just don't know what to think right now.I know that for some reason,my grandmothers death was much more painful than I expected it to be,too.Possibly because at that point I was really beginning to doubt the JW teachings.Also because,my cheapskate JW aunts and uncles insisted on no funeral,just a short graveside service the very next day,which I missed because the elder who conducted it started 25 minutes early because"it looked to him like everyone was there".I drove into the cemetary at 10 minutes til the service was scheduled,and met him driving out...
    Again my thoughts and prayers are with you,your mother and grandfather.

    Cowboy

  • Gopher
    Gopher

    Hi Ashi,

    Sincere condolences. Life does have its trials, and mysteries too.

    At this point, the most important thing is showing up and being supportive. Like a famous comedian once said, 85% of life is comprised of simply showing up!

    As far as future hopes, etc., we can hope that the one who put us here in the first place will ultimately remedy the situation. Just how--we'll find out if and when necessary.

    Our thoughts are with you!

    GopherWhy shouldn't truth be stranger than fiction? Fiction, after all, has to make sense.
    Mark Twain (1835-1910)

  • jolly_green_giant
    jolly_green_giant

    Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

  • Seeker4
    Seeker4

    Ashi - My heart goes out to you and I wish you whatever it is that you will need to make it through this hard time. I have no great, comforting words to tell you about this cycle of life and death that we all are in, but I can tell you this: I think if you can be with your grandfather at this time, it would be the most important thing in the world for him. YOU are his future in some ways, and you are certainly a part of his legacy. I would want to be surrounded by my family when I die, the reminder to me of all that was best about my having lived.
    S4

  • moman
    moman

    Ash, you sound like a wonderful person! I think the best thing you could do 4 your father iz to carry on the truth, which includes, "the truth about the truth." Also expressing yourself on this board iz good therapy! imho
    -fastone-

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