by Honesty 14 Replies latest jw friends
did you still want it to be the Truth?
I didn't.
I was sick for 3 or 4 days after I found out it isn't the Truth.
Then I got really pissed and started telling other JW's.
It didn't take long for me to be OUT after I started telling other JW's.
How about you?
Oh yeah I wanted it to be true....I also wanted to "plant" a $100 bucks in the ground and grow a money tree...WHY CANT THAT BE TRUE!
I wasn't sure it wasn't the truth until I found this forum and the courage to read CoC. I was saddened to see how the organization I'd given my life to was full of hypocracy and hurtful deeds. My heart broke when I read the Maliwi/Mexico information. I spiraled down into a depression that lasted about three weeks. In the end, I was relieved to know that I had not doomed my kids by leaving.
I had no incentive for it to be the real truth. I figured out that I would be better off out of it whether or not it was the truth.
I was so upset physically for weeks when I found out the real truth. I cried, couldn't eat and was in shock. There was always a constant fear hanging over me that I should be doing more, studying more, etc, etc. That weight was completely lifted off my back once I discovered the real facts about the WTBS. Thanks so much to this website and others like it for helping me in my journey.
Even when I thought it was the truth I didn't wanna go anymore. I didn't care if I would die in Armageddon. I was just too worn out and torn into too many pieces.
I had been looking at the org when I went to meetings like If I wasn't a member would I still want to join up with this group. I saw too many weird things happening. Then, the attack of the elders on my then husband came, then he thought he would be df'd and asked for a divorce. I didn't want to leave him and asked him to tell me everything he knew from Ray's books and other books. He told me and I was just amazed how fast you can feel the pain of the hope you thought you had, just leaving you. I was just like everyone else as it made me sick for days. Then, I started calling old bible students that I knew hadn't done anything. Told them not to get started again and run away. Some listened some just ignored my advice. Also, I called a few close friends to share my new things learned. Most did not want to hear it. Some told me when I was df'd they would still be my friend. Well, I am not df'd or was my ex, but none of them would talk to me again. I am waiting until some of them see the light. That might not happen but if it does I hope they will remember someone tried to warn them about the cult.
Thanks for your story Honesty.
Kit
I was distraught when I realised it wasn't true. I cried and cried and had a hundred questions that I suddenly didn't know the answer to. The UN stuff was first to upset me. My husband had ordered CoC and initially I didn't even want the book in the house! But then I picked it up and read it before my husband could get his hands on it! LOL
That was it - no going back once I got my head around the fact that Ray was telling the truth and wasn't "drawing people after himself" like we were always warned apostates do. Then I found this place and realised the extent of the poison and that was the final nail in the coffin. Only the stupid or those who are "pot-committed" to the jws can know half this stuff and not run screaming from the KH.
I battled with it, I felt like I was going crazy for a while. So many conflicting ideas. Cried a bit. But then it came together and took me 3 months to leave it.
From the time I was a little kid reading the Bible Story book, I knew that the bible was not the truth. I never did believe the JW thing because I did not believe that the bible was gods word.
Elder-schmelder
