How do I deal with all this??? It depends on the mood and circumstances. But it ranges from tears to guilt to low self esteem...name it!
*summer*
Mood and circumstance - yes, I agree. For the most part, I seem healed but there are always those pesky triggers. Back to square one! Thanks beaucoup. BTW, that old PM had never even crossed my mind! Of course, very little crosses my mind any more ... Were you talking to me?
Over the years I've learned that I can't make anyone like me. Either they do or they don't. I'm a bit off the wall, and perhaps an acquired taste, and I won't try to change that to please anyone. First and foremost, I must like and respect myself. Everyone else is secondary. I've also learned that my overall quality of life doesn't depend on anyone's opinion of me unless I permit it.
FF
Excellent advice! I'm trying to incorporate all of the above into the new me. Do you recall that saying (a book title, I believe) 'what you think of me is none of my business' ? Pondering that has helped me. When everyone from the KH "appeared" to like me and then I found out otherwise - oh boy! But let's get real, CC! I had to be honest with myself as to how I felt about others. Reality check. Thanks.
I don't know if I will ever get over these two. These people are the ones that I would honestly have stepped in front of a bullet to defend. I love them with intensity. I have lost all the rest - and frankly for most of them it is not that big a loss.
AK-Jeff
I remember your post some time ago about your cousin - that was a truly sad account. I can relate to the loving with intensity part. Here's hoping it gets better for you, but what you've described in the current post sounds rather tumultuous. Thanks for your well wishes.
Most times its not as bad as it seems, and sometimes we think the worst.
H4O
Your cheeriness is always refreshing. I'm trying not to think the worst. Thanks for your thoughts.
I alotted myself the appropriate response and time frame to express and feel that response.....then I let it go because the sun still rises every morning and the world doesn't stop spinning just because of me (it never has and never willl either)
yknot
The world only SEEMS to have stopped spinning, right?!?!? The correct attitude - acquired and maintained with some difficulty - is key. You said it so well - thank you.
I just don't expect much out of ANYONE. I am a much happier person, in that, I know what " I " can deliver to friend or business associate. Ya, sure, make me a promise, I just don't believe in people's promises anymore. Granted, they are still my "friends", but I know WHO they are and what their limitations are.
NMG
Recognizing another's limitations is so important. I think it's a matter of becoming more realistic and then showing a little mercy to compensate. Some individuals simply cannot do all that is expected of them (by whomever) and, consequently, labor under the burden of never feeling good about themselves. Gee, does that ever sound familiar! Thanks for your thoughts and concern.
I used to let it bother me but, as I've gotten older, I realize
people are busy and I am not the center of their universe... lol
Life goes on, not only for me, but others as well.
cas
Getting older certainly has its compensations, hasn't it? Once again appears the thought that we are not the center of the universe. After all, the earth is the center of the universe - that's right, yes? Life goes on ... and on ... and.... Thank you, cas!
I finally realized it just wasn't worth the emotion I was expending on the situation. Now, I just feel...Hey it's their problem not mine. I'm gonna enjoy life while I still can. Some things you just have to let go of.
IHAD
Letting go, especially of what amounts to matters of no true consequence, makes it easier on us and those recipients of a potential guilt trip delivered by us. No more pouting, petulance or imposing guilt trips. By me. Have I grown up - a little? Don't answer that. Thanks.
Some folks lose their internet connection by not paying the bill, or weather interference. So, I try to be patient. But once I realize I got the snub I feel crummy.
TOTH
Good points. I lost an entire e-mail account and all my contacts, etc. That does happen. You hope for the patience of others. Being snubbed does make you feel very crummy. But I guess I've made others feel crummy so I darned well better show a little compassion and forebearance myself. Hope you're feeling better. Thanks!
Thank you, everyone, for answering promptly and not forcing me to wait anxiously for replies.
I hate waiting!
Love,
CoCo
...OUTLAW