The Facebook Shun

sass_my_frass

A modern twist on the shun the other day: somehow an old JW friend had added me to her Facebook friends a few months ago. I thought I'd leave her alone for a while, figured she'd read my blog and discovered my current opinion on the organisation and what they did to my family. I hadn't messaged her, but the other day I'm on and notice that she's online, so I start a chat.

Within a couple of sentences of 'hi it's been years you look great'
she is asking 'so, how are you doing spiritually?' So I realised she had me there.
I dodged briefly: "Great! Happy, love marriage, working hard... excellent actually!"
She replies with "Good but you didn't answer my question"
I ignored her for a while, then "LOL, I don't know what you mean"
Her:"I heard you'd been disfellowshipped
Me: Oh, "spiritually" - no I haven't been reinstated

Within seconds, we're talking not even five, the chat dot goes red, which means she's gone to her privacy settings, on a server on the other side of the world, searched for me, and removed me as a friend. I realised later when I searched for her. I returned the favour by disabling her ability to find me in a search ('Take that!'). I don't like the idea of anybody who doesn't want to talk to me even being able to see my photo.

So that's all a bit boring I know, but it got to me that night. I don't know why I reached out to her, but I always have a compulsion to. I guess I just want to know if it's worth trying to maintain a relationship at all. Every JW fails me, horribly, by hurting me deliberately. I am going to learn that you don't keep giving them the chance to. One day.

Cc81

I had a old friend of mine do something similar recently. this person had been one of my best friends growing up.She found me on myspace added me and we started emailing back and forth. The second she realized that i do not go to meetings.. haven't in years and she found out i had married a non believer she deleted me off her friends list and put her profile to private. It stung for a second when i realized what she had done.. After i got over that initial shock i could not help but laugh to myself.This girl with her holier than though attitude. This is the same girl who got dis fellowshipped at least 3 or 4 times when we were teenagers... for what you ask? For giving anybody and everybody Oral sex. Yes. she is so much better than me!

DoomVoyager

Spiritually, I'm sure you're doing far better than you ever were as a dub. Dubs are among the least spiritual people I know.

hamsterbait

It is good that such lowlives eject themselves.

One less piece of trouble trampling through your life.

I consider my time and energy too valuable to waste it dealing with the petty, childish mindgames of such fools.

I have friends of every spiritual stripe. From atheists to Hindus Born-again to RC. As long as it is founded in mutual respect of other human beings then I think it is okay to agree to disagree.

The witlesses would be killing everybody who left, and prolly slaughtering those of other faiths, if modern laws did not make it illegal.

Remember it was superstitious idiots like them who put wood on fires to burn witches in Salem.

HB

laissezfaire

I had a similar experience not to long ago with a website called artwanted.com I turned this site on to my now ex jw friend who I painted with for 21/2 years and not to long ago she uploaded a new painting. I made a nice comment and said I looked forward to seeing some of her newer work. Well she then uploaded another one and I went to comment on that and I was blocked! I was shocked but then thought about it and realized how shallow and silly that was. What did she think I would do or say. Was my influence so damaging to her spiritualty that I couldn't even leave a nice comment about her painting. The narrow mindedness of it all is exhausting and ridiculous. I find these acts more damaging to any good she thinks might happen by it,does she really think that will draw me closer to her and the org? Please I want to vomit....... Is her message really the love I want to attach myself too..... I think not.... I derserve better and we all do. I guess we just have to be long suffering in our approach to them and hope that they wake up and if not so be it!

daystar

Last time I was asked that loaded question was by the father of an old JW friend. He ask how I was "doing spiritually" and I answered, quite honestly, "I'm doing great!" and went on to talk briefly about other things. And then I guess he hadn't been satisfied with my answer and so he mentioned meetings, etc. and so I had to say "Oh no, I've not been to a meeting in some time," just as jovially, at which point he turned cold. The hubris to think that I have to be an active JW to be doing good "spiritually"... but... now that I think about it, what does that even mean anyway? 0_o