Things Women Say When Stressed Out

by BoozeRunner 8 Replies latest social humour

  • BoozeRunner
    BoozeRunner

    I thought these were cute. LOL
    Feel free to add your favorite "stress comments."

    Boozy

    1. You - Off my planet.
    2. Not the brightest crayon in the box now, are we?
    3. Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.
    4. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
    5. And your crybaby whiny opinion would be...?
    6. I'm not crazy, I've just been in a very bad mood for 30 years.
    7. Allow me to introduce my selves.
    8. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
    9. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
    10. I'm just working here until a good fast-food job opens up.
    11. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
    12. Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you weren't asleep.
    13. I can't remember if I'm the good twin or the evil one.
    14. How many times do I have to flush before you go away?
    15. I just want revenge. Is that so wrong?
    16. You say I'm a witch like it's a bad thing.
    17. Can I trade this job for what's behind door #2?
    18. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
    19. Chaos, panic, and disorder - my work here is done.
    20. Earth is full. Go home.
    21. Is it time for your medication or mine?
    22. How do I set a laser printer to stun?
    23. I'm not tense, just terribly, terribly alert.

  • funkyderek
    funkyderek

    24. Do I look like a fucking people person?

    --
    Those who can induce you to believe absurdities can induce you to commit attrocities - Voltaire

  • OUTLAW
    OUTLAW

    25:Stay away from me!(while holding a butcher knife.)The ex had a bit of a temper...OUTLAW

  • mommy
    mommy

    HAha Boozy
    I was doing a search one day on the web, and came across this website. It is so funny, real life woman, and their quotes here are but a few of the numerous ones there

    Heartless Hall of Fame: Women who personify the True Spirit of HBI

    Kimberly - "Pardon me, sir, but I can barely hear you over the sound of your knuckles dragging."

    Jackie - "I don't need a penis. I have one - I just choose to let my boyfriend wear it for me!"

    Kavianna - "Men always whine that we suffocate them. Personally, I think that if you can still hear them whining, you aren't holding the pillow down hard enough."

    Kecia - "A bore is someone who deprives me of my solitude without providing me with companionship."

    Mary - "When you give up doing what you love, You might as well be dead. --Ralph Faulkner"

    Jill - "Men can't live with them and can't shove them in a locker and forget the combination"

    Emily - "Is that a prawn in your pocket or are you just a sad bastard?"

    Alessandra - "I play hard to get...but you're playing hard to want"

    Kathie - "The hair is blonde, NOT the brain!"

    Sylvia - "Drop your pants - I need a laugh!"

    Sylvia - "I am Woman...hear me belch!"

    Pepper - "I'm a nurturing soul or emotional irritant. You figure it out."

    Angela - "No woman is required to build the world by destroying herself."

    Karen - "It's not your looks that amaze me, it's the fact that you can speak almost as many words as the chimps at the zoo."

    Felicia - "I have no time for mental midgets and men perpetually stuck at 17 who can only find intimacy in full contact sports and with women who are no more than life-sized Barbie dolls!"

    Carolyn - "Say what you mean and mean what you say."

    Michelle - "Everything will be fine as long as you don't PISS ME OFF!"

    Gina - "You can take the guy out of the gutter, But you can't take the gutter out of the guy!"

    Artemis - "Shit happens. People that cope survive. Bitches that cope thrive."

    Tiffany - "Bitch without a conscience? I don't think so. I just haven't warped MY conscience by bending over backwards for everyone on the face of the earth."

    Wrahnda - "If you act like an ass, don't be surprised if people ride you!"

    Jessica - "If my TITS had opinions, you might understand me."

    Hele - "There is not a damn thing that you can do for me that I can't do for myself or that modern technology has not already replaced."

    Dc - "You think you're hot shit, but all I see is cold crap...."

    Cat - "You know why men can't get mad cow disease? They're all pigs!"

    Patsy - "You say I'm a BITCH like that's a BAD thing"

    Traci - "I make Mistakes, I don't marry them!"

    Jaye - "The Gene Pool needs more chlorine - and a life guard."

    Linda - "Men are like Kleenex, strong, soft and MOST of all Disposable!!!"

    Lora - "Being a bitch is only fun and games until somebody loses an eye... and then it's just fun."

    Roohi - "If I have to get to a man's heart, I can take aim straight for his chest, and fire thank you."

    Raechelle - "I don't have a one-liner. I just raise one eyebrow and smirk."

    Edith - "The only difference between my man and my lazy cat is that my cat cleans himself on a regular basis."

    Karen - "If the mind can conceive it, a Bitch can achieve it!"

    Mistress - "Men are great....every woman should OWN one."

    Janet - "Sure guys can piss standing up BUT could they bleed for a week and not die?"

    Lisa - "The graveyards are filled with men who thought the world couldn't go on without them."

    Dean - "Do me a favor...don't reproduce."

    Kym - "I'd rather be blunt with honesty than nice with lies."

    Tiffany - "When I want a man's opinion, I'll give it to him!"

    Heather - "Men have feelings too, but who really cares?"

    Paula - "Don't give me your attitude; I have one...one of MY own."

    Hanne - "I'm glad I'm a Woman but sometimes I want to be a dog. And my man to be a streetlight...."

    Laura - "All it takes for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing" - Sir Edmund Burke

    Nicole - "Sorry, but I don't do pathetic and clueless. Now go away."

    Dragonlady - "It's your choice, have your life the way you want it, or have your reasons why you can't."

    Suzanne - "That's YOUR gig, buddy, not mine. If you can't take responsibility for your own life, you can't have a piece of mine."

    Mary-jane - "Not so much a one-night stand. More like a one-minute stand."

    Ann - "I don't have relationships with men because I *need* to, I do because I *WANT* to."

    Kristy - "If wit was shit you'd be constipated, honey."

    Ariel - "I don't play mind games, I'm just a freelance sociologist!"

    Stephanie - "Some people who would never think of speaking with their mouth's full, speak with their heads empty!"

    Lady - "Oh Yeah, hahahaha, what do you think you're going to do with that?"

    Elena - "NO, I don't want to spend the night with you... Do I look like a bank with a night depository?"

    Marinda - "Don't say male, say chromosonally disadvantaged."

    Jumel - "I'm trying to see things from your point of view, but I can't stick my head that far up my ass."

    Lisa - "It's a good thing it's a reflex to breathe.. otherwise you'd be dead!"

    Colleen - "You're talking to me like I give a damn.

    Tara - "Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not really sure about the first one. -Einstein"

    Jennifer - "Rub two brain cells together and see if you can spark a thought."

    Gail - "If you HAD a brain, it would be proportional to a BB in a boxcar!"

    Suzi - "So life sucks - get a helmet!"

    Dena - "You might want to get your head out of your ass before you sit down and break your neck."

    Natashia - "I have no patience for the mindless minions, however I will tolerate them because *SOMEBODY* has to fan me when I'm hot."

    Cassie - "I am woman hear me roar. You are man, hear you snore."

    . http://www.heartless-bitches.com/members/members2/real35.shtml

    Warning the above views are not all shared by me.
    wendy

    When I leave, you will know I have been here

  • waiting
    waiting

    When I want your opinion, I'll.......forget it, I'll never want your opinion.

    On a pin I bought because it was so cool. I sent it to my sister who promptly asked why I sent it to her because it sounded like something I would say.

    So I bought another one and put it on my bulletin board.

    waiting

  • waiting
    waiting

    I received these from people who know me:

    Sarcasm is just another free service we offer.

    Moody, but cute. My son sent to me

    I must come across in Real Life like I do here, eh?

    waiting

  • SixofNine
    SixofNine

    Sheesh mommy, when I started reading this thread, I had a nice set of male parts. Not so by the end. Yikes, lol.

  • BoozeRunner
    BoozeRunner

    Mommy, I'd hate to meet THOSE ladies on a very bad day...LOL.
    Those were hilarious, thanks.

    {{{Hugs}}}
    Boozy

  • waiting
    waiting

    LOL, and women are known as the *gentler* or *weaker* sex.

    At least the comments give a different perspective to those theories, eh?

    waiting

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