In case you need a laugh: Remember, it takes a college degree to fly a
> plane but only a high school diploma to fix one, but never let it be said
> that ground crews lack a sense of humor.
>
> After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a 'Gripe Sheet'
> which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft.
> The mechanics correct the problems; document their repairs on the form,
> and then pilots review the Gripe Sheets before the next flight.
>
> Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas' pilots
> (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by
> maintenance engineers.
>
> By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an
> accident.
>
>
> P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
> S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
>
> P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
> S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
>
> P: Something loose in cockpit.
> S: Something tightened in cockpit.
>
> P: Dead bugs on windshield.
> S: Live bugs on back-order.
>
> P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute Descent.
> S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
>
> P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
> S: Evidence removed.
>
> P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
> S: DME volume set to more believable level.
>
> P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick..
> S: That's what friction locks are for.
>
> P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
> S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
>
> P: Suspected crack in windshield.
> S: Suspect you're right.
>
> P: Number 3 engine missing.
> S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
>
> P: Aircraft handles funny........... (I love this one!)
> S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious..
>
> P: Target radar hums.
> S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
>
> P: Mouse in cockpit.
> S: Cat installed.
>
> And the best one for last..................
> P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding
> on something with a hammer.
> S: Took hammer away from midget
airline grease monkeys
by John Doe 3 Replies latest social humour
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John Doe
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BurnTheShips
In case you need a laugh: Remember, it takes a college degree to fly a plane but only a high school diploma to fix one
Well, not true. I am an FAA licensed Airframe Mechanic. You do not just get a license: you have to go to school, complete hourly requirements and pass a rigorous test.
OK, but the rest of it is funny.
BTS
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John Doe
burns, I didn't write it, but it makes for a good story.
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free2think
LOL thanks JD.