I should have taken the blue pill instead.

by ColdRedRain 5 Replies latest jw friends

  • ColdRedRain
    ColdRedRain

    Ever since I left the borg, a lot of bad things have been happening to me. My family turned against me, I lost all of my friends, and I've gotten myself into one bad relationship into another because I really wasn't taught how to have a relationship outside of the JWs. I almost even ended my life because of this crap. The thing that makes this worse is when I slip up, my family tries to preach to me more. And added to this, I'm mildy Autistic and because of that, I've gotten myself into trouble I didn't really know I was getting myself into. I'm really on an island. I don't know if I can take this anymore. Seriously. I don't know if I can take this anymore.

  • zeroday
    zeroday

    Many remain in the inside and present a facade of an active JW perhaps that would work for you I don't know...it can be very hard to leave when you have family on the inside...

  • Rebirth
    Rebirth

    You are going to make it sweetie. Don't give up. I have been where you are at, I know the complete and utter sadness over having your family hang you out to dry. It is, in my opinion, the toughest thing you'll ever have to face. The betrayal of the one group of people who by the laws of nature should never betray you. I grew up in MN, there are some amazing resources for those in your situation. MN tends to take care of its citizens moreso than other states. If you are considering hurting yourself, stop, reach for the phone, 612-873-2222 if you are in Minneapolis. You have this beautiful new life free to be who you are. Think of all that you can accomplish now that you are no longer tied to others oppressions. I have a lot of other thoughts, but I don't want to overwhelm you right now. You are in my thoughts and I care about you. ((HUGS))

  • jaguarbass
    jaguarbass

    You could be a witness like the catholics, or the jews.

    Hit a meeting or so a month. Fake some field service reports. And be in good standing with your family.

  • Rebirth
    Rebirth

    I wanted to share a song that got me through the lowest point I had ever been in.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=58nRdQ57UBg

    "Torn apart by rage and fear, Hold on to what brought you here, don't let it go, Never let go."

  • oompa
    oompa

    ColdRed....you realy do need professional help...and maybe even some meds.......I have felt all too similar and though not autistic...I may be bipolar....and surely depressed. I tried to stay in a bit with JW...but could just not fake it anymore.......so maybe the blue pill is not really an option for everyone. If you keep it to a minimum it might could help some, esp. with family.......so sorry man........oompa

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