Do you take Responsibility

by kerj2leev 23 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  milligal

  Some situations need a hero. Unlike some others on this thread I don't take responsibility for my marriage failing, my ex beat me over things like the electric bill being too high and stepping on the brakes too many times while I was driving. One time I got beat for not emptying the garbage. I prayed everyday to Jehovah to help me love him and be a better wife. We were both pioneering and he was a MS.

  ANYWAY even though I know now, he has some issues with anxiety, depression and most likely a mild form of autism I have gotten past the anger I felt for him. I treat our relationship like a business relationship because we have a son together. I never speak ill of my ex and I try to work with him in how he treats our son.

  There is no winning as some have already said in placing blame. Someone has to take the high road. I live my life towards the end of helping my son get what he needs and if that means I have to bite the bullet and have a peaceful co-parenting relationship, then so be it.
• 

  shamus100

  Taking responsiblity means not only understanding you faults, but also your motivations for your actions percieved at the time. Remember, hindsight is ALWAYS 20/20. You need to accept that you are not perfect, will never be perfect, but based on the information that you percieved to be true at the time, you made your best decision. Accept failure, learn from it, look at failure in a positive light, and you will be a much better and stronger person for it. I try to take full responsiblity for my actions.

  I agree that most times, although it appears there is only one person at fault in a relationship, often there is shared blame. There are relationships that there is 100% blame, of course. I'm not here to judge anyone, or have someone tell us all the gory details. I find that most times, it's highly imappropriate to broadcast these details all over the net, unless it has some specific healing due to abuse issues, etc. Please don't feel any poster here has to justify themselves to others - they only need to justify things to themselves.
• 

  milligal

  Shamus-I have to disagree with you, I don't find it offensive or inappropriate when people give details of their relationships breaking down. It is healing to share these things, and the internet is a 'safe' environemnt for many. Let's be real here, there is no use pretending that we are something we are not and it is liberating to many people to be themselves and say what they think.

  Is it really about assigning a percentage of responsibility or justifying actions? I thought is was more about expressing the way I view things and sharing that with others who have been through a divorce or break-up also. I am volunteering this view as is everyone else on this thread, I don't think anyone feels coerced.

  Thanks for your thoughts.
• 

  DJ_Q

  I like it when people give details of their realtionships, succesful or not. Makes me feel less of a freak.

  DJ_Q