Thrust into the middle again

Dawn

Hi all. I have been very lucky over the past few years to have a good relationship with my mom (she's a long time faithful JW and I'm a long time DF'd person) and avoid any contact with the rest of the JW world.

Unfortunately, this has all rapidly changed in the past several weeks. My mom was recently diagnosed with a terminal illness and has only a short time to live. I am her primary caretaker and spend a lot of time with her now. Which puts me right smack dab in the middle of many JW group gatherings as they all come to meet her at her house, hospital, etc.

Some are very kind and sincere - others are not so nice. So - I was wondering if any of you have been through these types of situations and if you could share your stories with me. It would help to hear what you have encountered and how you dealt with it. I'd like to avoid as much confrontation as I can for the sake of my mother - so she can die in peace and dignity. But I know there will be some times when I will need to set ground rules with the rest of my JW family and some of her friends so I'm not walked all over - being DF'd you know, I don't really count in their eyes .

I may not get a chance to log back on for a day or so as I'm at the hospital a lot, but will really appreciate your comments. Thanks

yknot

I am so sorry

Kill'em with kindness but be firm, no one is allowed to treat you badly.

Set the tone....this is about your mother and your immediate family. Anything else during this precious time needs to be suspended until an appropriate time.....set the boundaries on what is appropriate and not appropriate.

Your family is in my prayers....big hug

choosing life

Wow, Dawn, sounds like a hard place to be, in the middle. It is great you are taking care of your mom. I haven't been in your exact situation, but I do try to keep peace between my grown kids, some jw and some dfd.

Knowing what the jws believe can help you to avoid some confrontation. I agree that you will have to lay some ground rules though. The most basic ones might be that what is best for your mother is what everyone will focus on. The second one might be that you will not allow others to disrespect you as you spend these last days with her.

You sound like a great daughter!

watson

"Thrust" is one of my favorite words.

Mysterious

Way to go proving that DF'd people are not evil by doing the right thing taking care of your mom.

mrsjones5

I'm so sorry about your situation and I totally agree with setting boundries and being polite but firm.

Josie

Quandry

My mother died in April. What you are going through is hard, and will get harder each day. But at the end you will know that you have done all you could.

I agree with the poster that said if anyone has a problem, this is not the time to address it. After all, YOU are the one that is the caregiver. Are they offering to trade places with you? I'll bet not. Just let them know that you don't want your mother upset, and you don't need that either right now.

Yes, just be kind. They will go away soon, and you will definetely not be bothered by them anymore.

If you have family photos, pleae spend time with mom going through them, if she is able. She will enjoy the memories.

I feel for you in my heart.