Was my entire life fake?

by BonaFide 38 Replies latest jw friends

  • FreudianSlip
    FreudianSlip

    Welcome Bonafide-

    Unlike many here I didn't see my time as a JW as being the tortuous hell that some make it out to be. I had constant companions, I was close to my family and I was sure about everything from the nest door neighbor, to the universe.

    I understand how you feel though. Going from absolute certainty about the things you've held sacred for your whole life (I was born in too) is hard. When I was first awakening I had chest pains and major anxiety. Still, I came to realize that I have the rest of my life to look forward to. Dwelling on the past accomplishes a whole lot of nothing unless of course you learn from it.

    Since you are staying in for the time being.. be true to yourself. Don't knowingly lie to people. Thoroughly research all things JW.. and then widen out your religous search to other faiths.

    That's all I gotta say. Again welcome!

  • purplesofa
    purplesofa

    Are you seriously for real?

    purps

  • FreudianSlip
    FreudianSlip

    Who are you addressing? Since it is under my post am I to assume me?

  • *summer*
    *summer*

    be true to yourself. Don't knowingly lie to people. Thoroughly research all things JW

  • AK - Jeff
    AK - Jeff

    Was my entire life fake?

    No. Your life is/was very real. You have to begin the process of deciding now if it will become fake though.

    We live our lives within a system of belief about things. You believed at the age of 2 that mom and dad would always be a part of your life. At some point, though, be it death, divorce, or a break from them emotionally, you gradually accepted that you would not always be living under the roof they live under. You views began to evolve so that you took yourself out of the 'protective custody' of them, and began to live your own life. Your life had not been 'fake' until then. It just changed.

    Anyway - not a well thought out simile, but you get the point. The danger is now that you are fighting two diverse opinions about life - yours, and the WTS teachings. Just like with your parents, there are certain things that you will take along for the rest of your life from them. There are some things that, as an adult, you just cannot agree with.

    The WTS teachings can be ok. Not all of them are bad. But the belief system is flawed. The idea that they have the 'truth' is wrong. You have discovered that - and you can never un-ring that bell. You now have to decide if you can live under the same roof, and if you do, you will become somewhat 'fake' now. You have already begun to experience that. It will get worse as an elder at some point. You might find that you are unable to recuse yourself from JC meetings in which you will be expected to ruin lives if needed to 'protect the organization'. Will you be 'real' or 'fake' at that moment?

    I can't answer. Only you can answer. Your past was not 'fake'. You were deceived. Will you counter with deception? Or will you find a way to extricate yourself and be 'true' to yourself?

    There are no pat answers ahead. I offer none. But there will be some gut-wrenching decisions in your future I suspect.

    Welcome to the board.

    Peace to you

    Jeff

  • Homerovah the Almighty
    Homerovah the Almighty

    Bonfide let your conscience be your guide !

    Letting a bogus religious organization be your guiding light is not an honest and healthy way to socially and physiologically live !

    Its not good for you or humanity for that matter.

    As for as birthdays go its just an expression of love and respect for someone you care about, be it family member or otherwise,

    nothing more than that. if it was started by pagans who cares it makes people bond together, if that is its sole purpose than let it be.

    As for as Christmas goes , sure its another bullshit day thats been devised by other bogus religions, you be very surprised how many people now

    are fed up around this overly hyped commercialized supposed holiest of days, many and the numbers are growing

    Many folks who drop out of being a JWS seem go all haywire and head into self destruction with no moral compass to point them to the right direction,

    only to find out latter on the moral compass was within themselves all along, they just didn't know it, I hope you find your moral compass one day.

  • WTWizard
    WTWizard

    First, I wonder why would they be seeking advice when they already know the answer they are supposed to get. That, to me, shows that they cannot think at all. At least giving them an answer that is off the Filthful and Disgraceful Slavebugger's agenda shows that you are thinking, and encouraging others to think. Now, it's only a matter of time before they are going to crack down on that--I am already hearing that they are taking "privileges" away from people for talking positively about getting an education beyond high school.

    Now, you will be learning more about the organization. Each time they make a change that goes against common sense, you will notice it. Hopefully, you will give "counsel" that goes against the Filthful and Disgraceful Slavebugger if you see them as wrong and yourself as making more sense. This could include such issues as oral sex, masturbation, and field circus (they are stressing those areas more now). Each time you use common sense, or at least base counsel on the Bible instead of the washtowels, someone is going to get a better answer (even if still not perfect) than the stock answers from the washtowels.

    Yes, you might still enjoy field circus to an extent. There are enjoyable things--interesting calls, those long coffee breaks at Starbucks (or wherever you traditionally take them), and the times when they drive by a street and you keep your big mouth shut and let them waste the time. Eventually, you will see the message as being blatantly a scam, and start putting in token time (or no time).

    However, if you learn that it is a scam and help others to think, it is not totally wasted time.

  • Solace1998
    Solace1998

    dude, your life hasnt been fake at all, you ran into some snags and now maybe you need to make some desicions.

    i suggest you glean some info from the minority of reasonable, nice people here -

    and watch donnie darko

    and then

    "what the bleep" - down the rabbit hole. (or perhaps "waking life" also)

    and dont forget to study a bible, even tho the NWT is fine - i would suggest perhaps a parallel bible to compare. :)

    if you feel that these things are good, go with them -- if you feel there is something wrong, then question and doubt and research. I would suggest doing that even if it feels good. The search for God does not have to end ;)

  • jakmarx
    jakmarx

    Look your a unique position that many people never have to experiance. Your eyes are open, not only to things that might be difficult to understand within the society, but more importantly on the way the world works.

    As witness you do learn that a lot of things are fake.

    Im struggling with the same feelings. Deep down I know its wrong, but I still believe everything. Im still stuck in limbo.

    while i know somethings wrong with the society i would never say all the beliefs are wrong. SOme are actually really good.

    I think the hardest thing is when you stop believing in god. And dealing with it. As you know.. talking isnt exactly encourage.

  • Mickey mouse
    Mickey mouse

    That all sounds within the normal range of experience for someone going through what you're experiencing.

    All your experience to date makes you the person you are today. That's not fake.

    Lots of people have travelled this road before us. There is a wealth of support here.

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