Is it better to stay married one time or have been married couple of times?

by asilentone 27 Replies latest social relationships

  • asilentone
    asilentone

    I know it is a hard question, I would like to know your thoughts.

  • sacolton
    sacolton

    You know what they say ...

    Third times a charm.

  • M.J.
    M.J.

    IMO, the point of marriage is "til death do us part". Obviously that doesn't always work out, but I can't see the reasoning for deliberately going back on ones commitments. In other words, I would say that once is good enough for me, at least. I hope to attain that.

  • Seeker4
    Seeker4

    I was in a long marriage - 33 years - that broke up due to my own actions about 4 years ago. I'm in a relationship now where my partner wants to get married, but I am so totally ambivalent about marriage after losing that first relationship.

    I'd say if you can be with someone and stay truly in love with them and passionate about them, even with all the changes that time brings, that would be my ideal. I couldn't do it. I still love my ex-wife, I just lost passion for her, and I couldn't live that way.

    I'm in a committed relationship now, but wonder about marriage when I see how things can change with time. The whole concept of swearing undying love for someone for all eternity seems so unrealistic to me. Considering that most marriages end in divorce, I think the facts support my view.

    S4

  • Blasty
    Blasty

    I'd have to say the whole thing depends on the value you put on Marriage. Personally I would say you should get married once, but be sure about the person before you marry them. Seems like so many people get married and they don't really trust the person, or really know them. So in all reality they should still be dating.

    I say you should definately date different people, before you get married. I don't know how many different girls I had to date before I figured out what I really liked and disliked in a woman. And now I have the greatest wife in the world! haha

  • Satanus
    Satanus

    I read that on average you need to go through 10 candidates to find one that is reasonably compatible. However, i don't believe in god or marriage.

    S

  • TweetieBird
    TweetieBird

    I think it depends on the kind of marriage you have. If you are truly in love with your mate, stay married. If you don't get along and it's stressful to be in that relationship, move on. Life is to short to be in a miserable relationship.

  • Blasty
    Blasty

    I agree with tweety.

    I also think that some people are definately not cut out for marriage. It doesn't make you a bad person, your personality just doesn't qualify you to be in that sort of a situation. And if that's the case, you need to realize that, and not string someone else along. And you surely shouldn't get married, because then your just screwing over the person your married to.

    Also, a lot of people get in a marriage and convince themselves the grass is greener on the otherside. When in reality, everybody has their hangups and issues, and there is no such thing as the perfect person your always going to get along with. This isn't disney.

  • tijkmo
    tijkmo

    once

  • yknot
    yknot

    I think if a relationship has been sorted out using a therapist and still no resolve (lost that loving/trusting feeling).....better to part ways.

    Actually I also think that a person should know themselves quite well before getting married too.....so many felt they had to rush into marriage.

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