Come, Armageddon, come

by Slave4_38y 4 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • Slave4_38y

    I have no idea who Joshua Surtees is, but this man deserves a pat on the back for a perfectly written piece on witnessing.

    Just a short extract:

    Jehovah’s Witnesses are looking more like regular people every day. Here in contemporary London, the Jehovahs (I like to shorten their name, it’s a bit of a mouthful, isn’t it) move freely among us.

    They have migrated away from their usual environment (the doorstep or the nondescript suburban street) and they’ve abandoned their chaste, overly formal style of dress in favour of modern clothing manufactured by fashionable sports brands, high street mountaineering brands and multinational sweatshop retailers.

  • cappytan
    That was absolutely hilarious! Thanks for sharing.
  • Slave4_38y

    This cracked me up!

    “Are you going to answer all my questions with a question?” I went on.

    “Would you like me to give you a straight answer?” she asked.

    “Yes!” I replied.

    “Yes I am,” she said.

  • pronomono
    Thanks for sharing this excellent piece. There were a few inaccuracies (smile that says burn in hellfire? Um, no.), but overall it was a great piece. I got a chuckle out of the questions piece, too.
  • Vidiot

    My favorite bit:

    "I could become a Jehovah quite happily, if it wasn’t for the prohibition on blood transfusions, their belief that Satan (who controls human governments) was cast down to earth in 1914 and will one day attack the Jehovah’s Witnesses, triggering Armageddon and a judgment day lasting 1,000 years, their belief that heaven is a government ruled by Jesus and a parliament of 144,000 Christians, their belief that gambling, drinking, drugs and non-marital sex (especially homosexual sex) are evil and the fact that they inaccurately predicted the end of the world in 1975."

    Gosh, sir, don't hold back; tell us how you really feel.

    Definitely one of the funnier pieces on JWs I've read, lately.

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