jw's slacking off on fs?

carla

I hear you guys saying that often. I find it frustrating because mine sure hasn't! Maybe it is all the jw's who have ubm's who do most of the door to door now? just to annoy us?

TheListener

Hey Carla,

I don't have a specific answer regarding your BM (get it, bowel movement or believing mate?) hahahaha. Anyway, I digress.

I've seen a lot of slacking off in the FS in my area.

However, a witness with an unbelieving mate often times feels it necessary to put on a strong front. In fact they are encourage to do so by the congregation. Remember, they hear a lot about how you, the unbelieving mate, can be won without a word.

I'm in a somewhat different boat. My wife knows I know the truth and have rejected it. She doesn't try to win me without a word because I've rejected the truth. But, your husband regardless of what you've said regarding the truth is still intent on showing you how great it is. - probably (imho)

Does your husband complain about the congregation? any of the friends at the hall? Do you get invited to get togethers? Does he leave literature around for you to accidentally find? Does he smile and talk about how great he feels or how happy he is - in relation to the truth? These would all be things a believing mate would do in order to win you over without a word.

So, where others may see a lessening of FS by mates or witness friends you may not see that same trend in your household.

carla

BM haha, I don't think he would appreciate that one!

No, he doesn't say a peep about anything jw related at all these days. I suppose that could have something to do with my responses in the past. If he brought up anybody from his cong I would then bring up one of the stories here or someone on the boards, "I feel so sorry for them ..... they lost everybody they ever knew.... family member died and nobody even told them"...so & so was sexually abused and the elders wouldn't allow them to report it... you get the idea. No literature is left out either because that would cause me to leave out my literature and you know how scary that would be for a jw! If he writes 'memorial' on the calendar I fill in 'reject Jesus' above it just so it is accurate. I know, not very nice but I have done the nicey-nice thing, pleading, attempting rational discussions, letters, you name it I've tried it. Hard to compete with paradise earth you know. He knows I anti witness as well. Can't say much about it because I am merely doing the same thing as him, he is warning his neighbors of the imminent end and I am warning my neighbors of their immenent end if they join the jw's! or something on that order.

What is annoying me lately is how much money he is dropping every week on fs! costly repairs and gas money. I hope I don't run into them in MY vehicle at a coffee shop some Fri or Sat because I will let those deadbeats know how much I resent paying for their lazy butts to be chauffered around town & outlying areas. Why don't they take turns using other people's vehicles sometimes?

writetoknow

If slacking off can be defined as getting out of making cold calls by break after break and return visits then the witnesses have never done the door to door work effectively in the first place!

Its one more lie - like being in the truth. The better question posted should be tell me how you get out of doing the door to door work and still count the hours to look good?

Or should guilt be the motivating factor behind love of neighbor?

Or better yet - if the witnesses were not made to go door to door through shame and the org did not make it a law, would they do it for love of neighbor?

Or if they were never told to go door to door by the org. would they see it as an moral obilgation to God?

TheListener

Carla,

I've read your posts for a long time. I don't aways comment.

This is a really personal question and you can obviously choose to ignore it, but have you ever considered separation or divorce? What keeps you and your husband together?

carla

Life isn't 24/7 horrible with him, there are times his authentic self is evident. We are capable of going out and having a good time. But lately it seems it is high season for jwism? What with CO visits or something and the ever so exciting dc coming! Imagine your spouse joining the Nazi's or some other organization you find morally, ethically, and spiritually repugnant. What do you do? You research, research, research. Then you panic, then you mourn the loss of a person as you have known them. You hear the horror stories, you may even meet some ex members that have lived through the horrific experience of being a member at one time. Yes, I understand that many jw's did not suffer as children but do they suffer now as adults at the loss of their entire families? Is the next generation experiencing the loss of extended families at the direction of the wt?

Hope springs eternal? or at least for awhile. They flip flop back and forth at times and you think just maybe this time they are actually thinking for themself only to have it dashed yet again. How do you protect your children from this disgusting group? How do you make sure your child does not have suffer at the hands of the wt? You stay with them and protect them and educate them. There are countless documents about the wt from the court systems, they need not believe my horror stories from the boards, they are capable of researching for themselves. When I read about another marriage, relationship, etc.. destroyed or going through hell because of the wt it makes me angry. I do post more when I am upset by the wt. When I read of some woman who was molested as a child and suffered through that and then suffered again at a jc or meeting with elders while they ask disgusting questions and the woman who as an adult STILL thinks it may have been her fault, that sickens me. Some say 'why read the boards then?', sticking my head in the sand will not help either.Besides it is helpful to know what new stupid rules are coming that affect me & my family. Had I not researched I may have allowed a child to go near a kh and possibly put them in danger as the cong in my area most certainly had a molester that the elder let go because there were not two witnesses (as the elder told me). I may have thought like many on the outside that it is just a quirky little church that has 'high standards' as they like to proclaim. As it is now, I have anti witnessed (though not with the zeal it I may sound like when I am on here) and the young people in my family and nearly 2000 (give or take a few hundred) homes have had anti witness literature delivered to by me alone. How could I know what I know about the org and do nothing? Evil prevails where good men do nothing.

I have no hopes of reaching my jw, it appears a jw must come to their own conclusions in their own time. I have tried ministers, anti cult expert, bible only discussions (no scandal or wt lit allowed), letters, emails, all-dayers, you name it, been there done that. Until he comes to his senses or I cannot take it anymore I will have bouts of complete and utter disgust, times where me & my girlfriends laugh ourselves silly over some ridiculous rule, and times where I don't give a damn about the wt or jw's and don't even want to think about them, moments where he & I can actually pretend the elephant is not in the room, and times where I will mourn the loss of something that was truly great at one time, my marriage and how they so profoundly changed a wonderful man who can still be wonderful at times but yet I know I will never have first place in his heart again as long as he is in the org. hmm, guess I didn't reallly answer your question did I?

BabaYaga

Ah, Carla, Hon, that was a melancholy read. Very sad. And yes, the pain of mourning someone you loved, while their physical form is still with you... I can't imagine it.

Hugs and strength to you, Dear. Best wishes to you, whatever the outcome.

Love,
Baba.

Shawn10538

Finally someone who knows how to level the playing field. I love your way Carla!

95stormfront

Flip the gender script and that's life with me and my wife. She's been in JW mode the past twenty years of our marriage. Sometimes, I wonder how I'm able to hold it all together. Nice post!!!

WTWizard

I agree that it is a complete waste of money. Every dollar that is put in the gas tank for field circus is a dollar that cannot be saved toward a real emergency or spent on something worthwhile. Every penny put in the Worldwide Pedophile Defense Fund is a penny that cannot be spent on a repair to the house. Every time the car breaks down because of wear and tear received in field circus is hassle and money wasted that could have been used on a nice trip.

I agree with putting out apostate literature if the "believer" puts out his washtowels and asleeps. That way, if he has his witless "friends" come in, they will see it and may be stumbled with it. And putting "Reject Jesus" above "Memorial" on the calendar helps people see it as the real scam that it really is.

jw's slacking off on fs?

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