I feel angry, bitter, resentful and stupid. When I was in my 30's and young and strong, and had a long stretch of life ahead of me, I went along with the JW's and didn't get my education. Now that I am 50, divorced and barely making a living as a teacher aide, I am scrounging around trying to get the loans and grants to enable me to go to school to earn a B.A. in Early Childhood Education. AND STILL THE JW'S SAY, "you don't need an education, the system is going to end soon!" I sat through a Thursday night meeting where the speaker extolled the virtues of forgoing a decent job and an education to go knock on doors and deliver magazines and offer Bible studies. Now there is nothing wrong with that, all I'm saying is that JW's are woefully unrealistic in their assesment of life in this 21st century. Some of them act as if they worship the faithful and discreet slave. These are just men!!! I look at the witnesses who take everything the FDS say and act like it is a prouncement from Jehovah Himself! Now that I am divorced they are starting in on me to "wait on Jehovah, He will send you a mate. A good witness brother!" I cannot deal with someone whos idea of fun is to get up on a Saturday morning and go out in field service. Someones idea of lovemaking is stuck in the 1940's, and someone's idea of women is to make sure they are pregnant and barefoot, and wait on their man hand and foot. I've even been told by some, to "Not marry, wait for the new system, devote yourself to meetings and field service, that will make you forget all about those body members"
Why don't I walk away, because if I do, I won't have a place to live. Because of my divorce, I am struggling financially and cannot afford to rent an apartment, so i currently rent the guest rooms in the house of another 'single sister' I get sort of tickled when I think of what her reaction would be if she knew how I really feel, but no, I'm just going to be cool, bide my time until I find somebody. I'm not going to settle, but I don't think I'll be one of those "elevated single-sisters' held in such high esteem by the rank and file, I intend to get that degree AND married again just as soon as I possibly can. I am so sick of them.