Of the one's DF'd here, how many have been called on by the Elders?

Fishbulb

When I left the organization one of the reasons I did so was because of the hypocrisy I saw within the congregation regarding sheepherding the weak. People who were struggling to make meetings, ones who were house-ridden due to illness or depression, ones who don't keep a prominent position in the hall, these ones were all ignored. I was one who NEVER EVER EVER missed a meeting and in August I suddenly stopped going. The result? No calls, no visits, nothing. It wasn't until they "uncovered" information on me to disfellowship me that they were even interested in seeing me.

I left in 2005 and the policy, as I remembered it, was that 1 year after a person was disfellowshipped the brothers were encouraged to call on these ones to see if there was anything there to cultivate and encourage in order to bring them back to the fold. I purposely left my phone number the same though I moved to another city, so that I could see if they would try to reach me in any way. Just an experiment.

No calls. Surprised? not really. That's how it is in the DUB. But my question is; Has anyone actually received one of those Post disfellowshipped anniversary calls or any call after Df'ing period? I mean, is this a common flaw or one that was particular to the compound I attended?

flipper

FISHBULB- I am not DFEd, they tried to DF me after 3 and a half years of being inactive , as like you say,after you stop going then they will chase after you for some " alleged " offense. TI fought them in an appeal committee to still be able to talk to my witness parents. They DFed me, but then the society overturned the DFing decision. They have never called back on me since. I think they know they have a tiger by the tail with me. They are scared to deal with me now. It seriously does not surprise me that the elders haven't called on you. Welcome to the board by the way ! Peace out, Mr. Flipper

JK666

Fb,

It took them 6 1/2 years to caall on me after being DFed. It was only because they were having the first visit of a new CO the next week, and they were CYAing.

JK

Gopher

I was called within 1-1/2 years after being DF'd. However, since I had just recently moved and none of the JW's around here knew it, I'm sure the call was because my father (a JW elder) told them to call me.

babygirl75

Been df'd since 2001...never been called on by the elders. Even though my family has called three to four surrounding congregations begging for them too!!!!

JWdaughter

I was DA'd at 15-over 25 years ago now. I NEVER spoke to another elder except at my own instigation after that. After I left again later, I didn't wait around for a DA'ing, so I don't know my current status. In any case, no elder has ever called on me.

You know in the last few months I have thought about how I was DA'd originally, and the way I was treated (or not) afterwards and I have felt really bad. Growing up, I thought these men really loved and cared about me. I thought I mattered to these people. And I have only just realized that I was *15* years old! What the hell were they doing rejecting and dismissing an innocent 15 year old, sending her into the world with NOTHING, no friends nothing. Then, its not like they cared enough to worry about me, check on me, maybe encourage me. . .I meant nothing to any of those people. No one even LIKED me.

There was one lady "Jan" who was kind to me after I stopped going the second time, she sent me a note and a card of encouragement. That was it.

My aunt and uncle only spoke to me to sell me Melaluca.(Business, you know!) It wasn't until last summer that my uncle spoke to me like normal(After 3 divorces, I figure he lost some spiritual arrogance!)

Anyway. I actually feel kind of crappy that I am such an uncompelling and lovable person that no one even tried to 'save' me from myself-as I know what the attitude of JWs is. No one who I loved as a child loved me back.

That hurts.

Shelly

passwordprotected

There was clarification on this in a letter to all elders. It stated that, while it is appropriate to contact those who are DFd DAd in our territory once a year, it is open to the BOE's discretion. For example, if a person was still engaging in the behavior that got them DFd in the first place then they would likely not visit that person as it was clear they weren't ready to make the changes necessary to come back to the org.

ferret

28 years ago this month....never have seen an elder...that is good.

oompa

babygirl: Been df'd since 2001...never been called on by the elders. Even though my family has called three to four surrounding congregations begging for them too!!!!

And that does not tell them something??? I'm not dfd....just faded....but the elders all know my issues....and I did not even get a memorial invite...and have NEVER had anyone try to help me after 44 faithful years in. Even the CO who totally rocked my world and helped set me free....never even called me after out big meeting....two years later he came up to me and my wife after a talk...shook my hand and asked how I was....I said pretty awful or somthing like that......he said take care and walked off!!! My wife is still pissed.........oompa

Fishbulb

Thanks for the clarification PasswordProtected.

That helps me understand the elder's actions to some degree.

But in my case I really don't know how they would be keeping track of my "actions" if they have never attempted to contact me. The way that policy is written leaves a lot to ones discretion. A lazy elder body could simply fall back on the reasoning that they thought I was still doing wrong before checking to see if I had mad any changes.

I am not so much belly aching about not being called on as I am trying to prove that the policies followed are written with just enough wiggle room to let the elders in the congregation off the hook if they are put on the spot for not sheepherding a weak one. It's so funny because they talk and talk about what a weighty responsibility it is to be an elder in the congregation but they are the first to excuse themselves for human imperfection while chastising the ones they are supposed to be helping.

Of the one's DF'd here, how many have been called on by the Elders?

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