Comments You Will Not Hear at the 06-22-08 WT Study (April 15, 2008, pages 16-20)(MARRIAGE/PARENTHOOD)Review comments will be in redWT material from today's WT will be in black
Quotes from other sources will be in quotes boxes
w = Watchtower
g = Awake
jv = Proclaimers book
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WT child abuse www.silentlambs.org
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United Nations http://www.randytv.com/secret/unitednations.htm
MARRIAGE AND PARENTHOOD IN THIS TIME OF THE END "The time left is reduced."- 1 COR. 7:29.
OPENING COMMENTS
The WTS is having problems retaining young jws who marry "too early." As well as having a hard time recruiting single jws for Bethel and the MTS. Others are having children young and soon after the wedding. Parents of trouble young jws are having to deal with df'd children. How many jw children stay after they reach 18 or more? With so few new members coming in from the outside, the WTS realizes that retention of jw children is necessary if they are to show any "growth." The WTS manages to mention "the time of the end," Christ's presence, without a mention of 1914. Of my generation from the 1970's, more than 60% are divorced and the remainder are married but miserable.
START OF ARTICLE
Q 1. (a) What current changes are among the things "hard to deal with"? (b) Why are changing family values of concern to us?
GOD'S Word foretold that "the time of the end" would be marked by wars, earthquakes, famines, and pestilences. (Dan. 8:17,19; Luke 21:10, 11)The Bible also warned that this decisive period in human history would be a period of great social changes. Upheavals in family life would be among the things "hard to deal with" in these critical "last days." (2 Tim. 3:1-4) Why are such changes of concern to us? Because they are so extensive and so powerful that they could influence how Christians today view marriage and parenthood. In what way?
"time of the end" but no mention of 1914
How has the WTS interpretation of the sign of earthquakes been adjusted? Did the average jw see this or do they still use the old interpretation?
Did past generations have less social changes? What about fornication, adultery, child abuse, etc. in the 1900's, 1800's?
Christians--only jws
Q 2. How does the world in general view marriage and divorce?
2 Nowadays, divorce has become easy and widespread, and the divorce rate in many countries is climbing. However, we should keep clearly in mind that Jehovah God has a completely different view of marriage and divorce than the one generally accepted in the world around us. What, then, is Jehovah's view?
What about the divorce rate of jws during that period?
http://www.jwfacts.com/index_files/divorce.htm
"U.S. Religious Landscape Survey 2008" by The Pew Forum on Religion and Public Life surveyed 35,000 people and presents findings on divorce/separation rates. (http://religions.pewforum.org/reports as at April 20 2008) The following graph from the report shows the Witness rate of 14% was slightly above the U.S. average of 12%."
But then why did Malachi and Ezra and Nehemiah have Jewish men send away their non-Jewish wives and children? Did Moses have to send away his non-Jewish wife, Zipporah? Do people who become jws today have to send away their non-jw spouses?
(Ezra 10:1-3) . . .weeping and lying prostrate before the house of the [true] God, those of Israel collected themselves together to him, a very large congregation, men and women and children, for the people had wept profusely. 2 Then Shecaniah the son of Jehiel of the sons of Elam answered and said to Ezra: “We—we have acted unfaithfully against our God, so that we gave a dwelling to foreign wives from the peoples of the land. Yet now there exists a hope for Israel concerning this. 3 And now let us conclude a covenant with our God to put away all the wives and those born from them according to the counsel of Jehovah and of those trembling at the commandment of our God, that it may be done according to the law.
(Ezra 10:44) 44 These all had accepted foreign wives, and they proceeded to send away wives along with sons.
*** w05 3/1 pp. 18-19 par. 11 Wise Guidance for Married Couples ***
What, though, if marriage mates have different religious views because one of them accepted Christian truth some time after they got married and the other did not? Can such a marriage succeed? The experience of many says yes. A husband and wife with different religious views can still have a successful marriage in the sense that it can be enduring and bring happiness to both. Besides, the marriage is still valid in Jehovah’s eyes; they are still “one flesh.” Therefore, Christian spouses are counseled to stay with the unbelieving partner if that partner is agreeable. If there are children, they benefit from the faithfulness of the Christian parent.—1 Corinthians 7:12-14.
Q 3. How do Jehovah and Jesus Christ view marriage?
3. Jehovah God expects those who are married to remain faithful to their marriage vow. When he united the first man and woman in marriage, Jehovah stated that ((a man ... must stick to his wife and they must become one flesh." Jesus Christ later repeated that statement and added: "Therefore, what God has yoked together let no man put apart." Jesus further stated: "Whoever divorces his wife, except on the ground of fornication, and marries another commits adultery." (Gen. 2:24; Matt. 19:3-6, 9) Hence, Jehovah andJesus view marriage as a lifelong bond that ends only when one partner dies. (1 Cor. 7:39) Since marriage is a sacred arrangement, divorce is not to be taken lightly. In fact, God's Word states that Jehovah hates a divorce that has no Scriptural basis:' -Read Malachi 2:13-16; 3:6.
Could those Israelite men "remain faithful to their marriage vow" if they sent their wives away? Why were those men allowed to put apart what God had "yoked together"? Why were those marriages not considered a "lifelong bond"? So what "Scriptural basis" did they have, because their wife was not an Israelite? By extension then, people who become jws can divorce their non-jw spouse and remarry.
Responsible Marriage
Q 4. 'Why do some young Christians regret that they rushed into marriage?
4. The ungodly world in which we live is obsessed with sex. Every day, waves of sensual images are directed at us. We cannot ignore the effect they can have on us, especially on our dear young ones in the congregation. How should young Christians react to this unwholesome influence, which can arouse sexual desire even against their will? Some have tried to deal with it by marrying at a very early age. In that way, they hope to avoid getting involved in sexual immorality. Before long, though, a number have regretted that decision. Why? Once the novelty of being married has worn off, they have realized that they and their partner have little in common when it comes to everyday matters. Understandably, such couples are then faced with a serious challenge.
young Christians--only jws
Do young jw women get married because of sexual urges or because the clock starts ticking as soon as they hit 18 and every year after that, their choice of a jw man gets less and less because their are just fewer men than women in the WT organization?
"little in common"--but isn't having "the truth" in common the only thing that matters?
Q 5. What will help couples to remain faithful to their wedding vows? (See also footnote.)
5. Being married to someone-even a fellow Christian-who turns out to be very different from what you expected can definitely be difficult. (1 Cor. 7:28) Still, no matter how challenging the situation is, true Christians know that an unscriptural divorce is not an acceptable solution to problems associated with an unhappy union. Hence, those who keep on working hard to preserve their marriage because they want to remain faithful to their wedding vow deserve respect and loving help from the Christian congregation.*
* Those dealing 'with marital problems will be strengthened by reviewing such articles on marriage as found in The Watchtower of September 15,
2003, and Awakel of January 8, 2001.
# See chapter 30, "Am I Ready for Marriage?" in Questions Young People Ask-Answers That Work. (copy pm'd upon request)
Sounds like it isn't happy ever after for many young jws?
true Christians--only jws
Is true love "working hard to preserve their marriage" one that is meant to last forever without end?
"loving help"--Translation: quit telling your unhappily married friends to separate or get a divorce.
Q 6. How should young Christians view the prospect of marriage?
6. Are you young and still unmarried? If so, how should you regard the prospect of marriage? You can avoid much heartache if you wait until you are physically, mentally, and spiritually ready for marriage before you start a romantic relationship with a Christian of the opposite sex. Of course, the Scriptures do not stipulate an age for marriage. However, the Bible does show that you do well to wait until you are past that time in life when sexual feelings are very strong. (1 Cor. 7:36) Why? Because strong sexual impulses can distort good judgment and cause you to make unwise decisions that may result in heartache later. Remember, Jehovah's wise counsel on marriage in the Bible is for your benefit and happiness. -Read Isaiah 48:17, 18.
So what is the magic age? A jw has been baptized as young as 6; why wait for marriage; isn't baptism more serious than marriage? Is a 6 year old "physically, mentally, and spiritually ready" for baptism? Why can a 6 year old get baptized but be considered too young to date?
*** w85 11/1 p. 19 par. 13 Finding Joy in the Gift of Marriage ***
Is it not often true that the “only” boy in a girl’s life when she is 16 or 17 years old is long forgotten as she grows to womanhood and attaches greater importance to a man’s godly traits and personality? Her view at 22 or 23 years of age will likely be centered more on the spiritual, mental, and emotional aspects of a man than on the physical characteristics.
*** w99 2/15 p. 5 What Is Needed for a Successful Marriage? ***
“It is very risky to get married too young,” says Nikki, who was 22 when she married. She cautions: “Your feelings, goals, and tastes will continue to change from the time you are in your late teens until you are in your mid-to-late 20’s.” Of course, readiness for marriage cannot be measured by age alone. Nevertheless, marrying when one is not past the youthful stage when sexual feelings are new and especially strong can distort one’s thinking and blind one to potential problems.
*** w63 8/1 p. 475 Proper Viewpoint of Discipline ***
Since marriage is the proper reason for members of the opposite sex keeping company, they should obviously be of a more responsible age before going out together.
Responsible Parenthood
Q 7. What do some young couples experience, and why can this strain the marriage?
7. Some couples who marry young find themselves expecting a child when they themselves are barely out of adolescence. They have not really had time to get to know each other properly before the arrival of the baby, who requires attention 24 hours a day. When the newborn quite naturally becomes the primary object of the mother's attention, the young husband may feel jealous. Furthermore' sleepless nights can create tension and stress that put a strain on the couple's relationship. They suddenly realize that they have lost much of their freedom. Now they cannot go places and do things as freely as they did before. How should they view their changed situation?
How old was Jesus' mother when she married? Tradition has it that she was around 14 or 15 when she had Jesus.
Does the WTS really want jw mothers tied up taking care of children?
*** w88 3/1 p. 24 Responsible Childbearing in This Time of the End ***
Responsible Fatherhood
All Christian husbands, whether they have congregational responsibilities or not, should also consider the effect that taking care of young children could have on their wife’s spirituality. If a wife is not spiritually strong, how will a baby, or a number of babies, affect her personal study and opportunities to share in the preaching work? Do husbands always realize that taking care of a baby or a young child often prevents their wives from getting full benefit from the Congregation Book Study, Kingdom Hall meetings, circuit assemblies, and district conventions? Such a situation can last for months, and even years, when baby follows baby. It is in the nature of things that the load, in this respect, falls mainly on the mother, rather than on the father. It has sometimes been observed that whereas some Christian men progress spiritually, even to the point of being assigned privileges in the congregation, their wives become spiritually weak. Why? Often it is because their young children prevent the wives from concentrating at meetings, doing deep Bible study, or sharing in a large measure in the witnessing work. Can fatherhood be called responsible if it permits such situations to develop?
Q 8. As what should parenthood be viewed, and why?
8. Just as marriage should be undertaken in a responsible manner, parenthood should be viewed as a God-given responsibility and privilege. Whatever adjustments the arrival of a baby may cause in the lives of a Christian couple, they should do their utmost to deal with these in a responsible way. Since Jehovah gave humans the ability to have children, parents need to view the newborn baby as "an inheritance from Jehovah." (l's.127:3) A Christian mother and father will strive to assume their duties as "parents in union with the Lord."-Eph. 6:1.
Christian couple--only jws
Christian mother and father--only jws
Sounds like the WTS is leaking like a sieve when it comes to children of jws.
Q 9. (a) What does raising a child involve? (b) What can the husband do to help his wife remain spiritually strong? )
9. Raising a child involves years of self-sacrifice. It is a big investment in time and energy. A Christian husband needs to understand that for several years after a baby is born, his wife is likely to be distracted during meetings and she may have fewer opportunities for personal Bible study and meditation. This could have a debilitating effect on her spiritual health. Responsible parenthood requires that the husband does all he reasonably can to help to look after the child. He could try to compensate for what his wife may miss at the meetings by later discussing some of the program points with her at home. He may also share in caring for the baby to give his wife an opportunity to have a meaningful share in Kingdom preaching. -Read Philippians 2:3,4.
years of self-sacrifice...big investment in time and energy--Translation: don't have children.
debilitating effect--See 1988 WT above
So what elder or MS will forgo their privileges to care for a baby? How many elders put their family first before the congregation or are "encouraged" to do so? How many elder's families have fallen apart because the cobbler's children have no shoes?
Q 10, 11. (a) How are children brought up in the "mental·regulating of Jehovah"? (b) Why do many Christian parents deserve commendation?
10 Responsible parenthood involves much more than providing the child with food, clothing, shelter, and health care. Particularly in this perilous time of the end, young ones need to learn from a tender age the moral principles by which to live. Children should be brought up "in the discipline and mental-regulating of Jehovah." (Eph. 6:4) This "mental-regulating" involves implanting Jehovah's thoughts in the mind of a child from its tender infancy on through the critical years of adolescence.-2 Tim. 3:14, 15.
Jehovah's thoughts = WTS thinking
*** w83 1/15 p. 27 par. 20 Armed for the Fight Against Wicked Spirits ***
If we get to thinking that we know better than the organization, we should ask ourselves: “Where did we learn Bible truth in the first place? Would we know the way of the truth if it had not been for guidance from the organization? Really, can we get along without the direction of God’s organization?” No, we cannot!—Compare Acts 15:2, 28, 29; 16:4, 5.
11. When Jesus told his followers that they should "make disciples of people of all the nations," he most certainly meant that parents should help their children to become disciples. (Matt. 28:]9, 20) That is a challenge because of the pressures that this world puts on young people. Therefore, parents who succeed in rearing their children to become dedicated Christians truly deserve the warm commendation of all in the congregation. They have "conquered" the world's influence by their faith and their faithfulness as responsible parents.-1 John 5:4.
How many jw parents have a "family study" with their children? In the congregations I attended, it was pointed out that if the elders and ministerial servants did not, the rank and file would not. Out of 5 elders and 4 MS, only one with unbaptized children living at home did; out of 15 other families, only 3. And the motivation was to at least be able to count 4 more hours on a time slip, not the spirituality of the family.
dedicated Christians--only jws
I know one family of four children where only one is still a baptized jw, because of the hypocrisy of their parents. How many do you know of?
Single or Childless for a Noble Purpose
Q 12. Why do some Christians decide to remain single for a time?
12. Since "the time left is reduced" and "the scene of this world is changing," God's Word urges us to consider the advantages of singleness. (1 Cor. 7:29-31) Hence, some Christians choose to remain single for life or they decide to remain single for some years before marrying. Commendably, they do not take advantage of the freedom that singleness brings to pursue selfish interests. Many remain single in order to serve Jehovah "without distraction." (Read 1 Corinthians 7:32-35.) Some single Christians serve as pioneers or Bethelites. A number seek to extend their usefulness to Jehovah's organization by qualifying to attend the Ministerial Training School. In fact, those who served as full-time ministers for some time while single and then later decided to marry often feel that their marriage is still benefiting from the valuable lessons they learned during those early years.
singleness--the WTS has Bethel and the Ministerial Training School where single, male recruits are required. Many male Bethelites do not last long single, not with all the female jws with a short shelf life looking for husbands.
single Christians--only jws
So if you are single, you have to pioneer, not "pursue selfish interests"?
Q 13. Why do some Christian couples decide to refrain from having children?
13. In some parts of the world, yet another change in family life has occurred-numerous couples have decided to remain childless. Some do so for economic reasons; others do it because they want to be free to pursue a lucrative career. Among Christians, there are also couples who refrain from having children. However, they often do so to be freer to serve Jehovah. This does not mean that such couples do not enjoy a normal married life. They do. Still, they are willing to place Kingdom interests above some of the privileges that go with marriage. (1 Cor. 7:3-5) Some of those couples serve Jehovah and their brothers in the circuit and district work or at Bethel. Others serve as pioneers or as missionaries. Jehovah will not forget their work and the love they show for his name.-Heb. 6:10.
Christian couples--only jws
"lucrative career"--Translation if you are childless and not pioneering and have a full-time job,
"enjoy a normal married life" -- sex is not just to have children
But didn't Albert Schroeder live at Bethel and had a son and remained at Bethel? Aren't their accounts in the WTS publications of circuit overseers who had children while serving as a CO or DO?
'Tribulation in the Flesh'
Q 14, 15. What "tribulation in their flesh" could Christian parents experience?
14. The apostle Paul told married Christians that they would have "tribulation in their flesh." (1 Cor. 7:28) This may involve health problems for the couple, their children, or their aging parents. It may also involve difficulties and heartaches connected with the rearing of their children. As mentioned at the beginning of this article, the Bible foretold that "the last days" would bring "critical times hard to deal with." Among the things hard to deal with would be children who are "disobedient to parents." -2 Tim. 3: 1-3.
married Christians--only jws
marriage and children = tribulation
This definitely shows that that young jws are leaking out and that many parents are pulled to love their children and shun them.
15. Rearing children is a serious challenge for Christian parents. \Ve are not shielded from the adverse effects of the current "critical times." Hence, Christian parents have to wage an ongoing fight against the pernicious influence that "the system of things of this world" can have on their children. (Eph. 2:2, 3) And the battle is not always won! In case a son or a daughter of a Christian family stops serving Jehovah, it is, indeed. "tribulation" for parents who have tried to raise him or her in God's truth.-Prov. 17:25.
Christian parents - only jws
Christian family - only jws
not shielded--what about the jws who think they are individually protected?
God's truth - WT truth
"There Will Be Great Tribulation"
Q 16. What "tribulation" did Jesus prophesy?
16. Any "tribulation" encountered within the context of marriage and childbearing will, however, be surpassed by another tribulation of far greater magnitude. In his prophecy about his presence and the conclusion of the system of things. Jesus stated: "There will be great tribulation such as has not occurred since the world's beginning until now, no, nor will occur again." (Matt. 24:3, 21) Jesus later revealed that a great crowd would survive this "great tribulation." However, Satan's system will go down fighting in an all-out final assault against Jehovah's peaceful Witnesses. Doubtless, it will be a difficult time for all of us adults and children alike.
So the great tribulation is now inserted as a fearmongering tactic.
Presence - 1874 or 1914?
Great crowd - no development here, not even a scripture.
Does the WTS mention that all 6.5 billion non-jws, men, women and children will die eternally?
Jehovah's peaceful Witnesses--definite proof that the WTS believes that only jws have God's blessing.
Q 17. (a) Why can we face the future with confidence? (b) What should influence our view of marriage and parenthood?
17. Nevertheless, we should no;: be unduly fearful about the future, Parents who are faithful to Jehovah can hope to be protected along with their young children, (Read Isaiah 26:20, 21; Zeph. 2:2. 3; 1 Cor. 1:14) For now, though, may awareness of the critical days in which we live influence how we think about marriage and parenthood in this time of the end. (2 Pet, 3:10-13) In that way, our life-whether we are single or married, with or without children-will bring honor and praise to Jehovah and to the Christian congregation.
protected along with their young children--at what age does a jw child no longer come under their parent's protection? The WTS deliberately keeps it vague and it is why parents feel compelled to have their children baptized younger and younger.
*** w52 1/15 p. 43 par. 22 Training Children for Life in the New World ***
Paul speaks of this principle in the reverse, which might be referred to as “family merit”. If the father or the mother of a family is a believing and practicing Christian he or she brings merit to the entire family of children. Paul writes: “For the unbelieving husband is sanctified in relation to his wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified in relation to the brother; otherwise, your children would really be unclean, but now they are holy.” (1 Cor. 7:14, NW) Therefore this proves that minor children of Christian parents are indirectly sanctified or counted worthy of protection in God’s sight until they reach the age of individual responsibility. Hence in this day of final judgment since 1918 parents are responsible for the final destiny of their minor children. When Armageddon strikes all minor children who are not under such “family merit” arrangement will meet annihilation with no hope of a resurrection. This is strongly indicated at Ezekiel 9:6 (AS), where it is written: “Slay utterly the old man, the young man and the virgin, and little children and women; but come not near any man upon whom is the mark.”
By Way of Review
Why should young Christians not rush into marriage?
What does raising a child involve?
Why do many Christians remain single or if married, childless?
What tribulation" may Christian parents experience?
CONCLUDING COMMENTS
Have you seen a pattern in the last 2 articles? Young jws, marriage, parenthood. Next week, materialism--"What Makes Life Worthwhile?"
Love, Blondie