Have you ever been able to get over extreme fear? How?

by snarf 6 Replies latest jw friends

  • snarf
    snarf

    I have an anxiety problem as it is, but I am passing out scared of riding motorcycles! My hubby, a biker through and through, loves them and with the rising cost of gas, and his need to drive 45 miles each way to a job 3 days a week and us trying to cut back, we decided it was a good time for him to fulfill his dream, so he bought a beautiful motorcycle that any biker would be proud to own, problem is, he really wants me to hop on the back and join him for a cruise on the open road. I have tried to "make" myself get on and succeeded once. He is very loving and lets me be :in charge". If I say stop, he stops, if I say slow down he does, mind you we have only putted around town at 25 mph tops and I almost passed out. He has suggested me getting a scooter for myself to putt around town in for my errands to save gas and to help me get comfortable with a motorized two wheeled vehicle, I think a peddle bike would suit me fine and I wouldn't have to worry about my flaming bloody death looming from an accident on a motorcycle.

    Any help to get rid of thhis fear and face it once and for all would be helped, if you have had a fear and have managed to deal with it please tell me how you did it.

    Also, I grew up on the back of a motorcycle, stepdad was in a biker gang and I rode as a kid everywhere, no bad experiences there. I also had 3 high school friends, one whom I loved dearly, all die riding carelessly on their motorcycles, but I knew it was from their relunctance to obey the standards of riding.

  • zeroday
    zeroday

    That's a tough one...I bought a new bike (Honda VTX 1300C) 3 years ago after a 25 year hiatas...I was scared to death when I picked it up at the dealer I just knew I would dump it...take it slow ride in the morning on weekends when traffic is light and you might be able to get adjusted to it...also take a 3 day safety course most local colleges offer them or check with your dealer for one close by...Now I just love mine but I am always concious of safety, you always have to look out for others as they usually will not see you...hope you get over your fear...also I get 45 miles per gallon which helps...

  • snarf
    snarf

    Thanks Zeroday, taking a ride when the sun is out on a non busy day would be better for me, I will have to con the teenage daughter into babysitting!

  • nameless_one
    nameless_one

    That's interesting that you grew up riding on motorcycles as a child and had no bad experiences (and presumably weren't afraid back then). When did you develop the fear, did it start after the accidents of your friends?

    I think the scooter sounds like a good idea actually. You'd probably feel pretty safe with that once you got used to it, and it could even be fun. That sounds like a good way to gradually get comfortable, and maybe from there build up to gentle rides on the motorcycle again.

    I've heard of people conquering their fears of things like flying with virtual reality programs, basically facing the fear in a safe environment and becoming desensitized to it through repeated exposure. Not sure where one would find such a virtual reality set-up though LOL. If it were me, I'd give the scooter idea a try. Your husband sounds like a kind and patient man, that helps too :-)

  • milligal
    milligal

    I have two ideas for you:

    My son was deathly afraid of going on boats, so my husband forced him onto a pnotoon boat and let him drive! My son fell in love with being the captain. Have you ever thought of taking the wheel? Maybe the control would help you relax...

    Another idea is 'flooding' a psych term explaining how some therapists help you get past fears and how I got over being afraid to go to court. Just do it over and over, repeatedly 'flood' yourself with the event that scares you until you become accustomed to it.

    It's really good of you to get over the fear for your hubby : )

  • Thechickennest
    Thechickennest

    I agree with Milligal, I have read about "flooding"

    I have been riding since I was 12 years old. Sounds like your husband has good judgement. Once you get past the fear I think you will really come to enjoy riding, its very addictive.

  • jaguarbass
    jaguarbass

    Do the thing you fear. Either it will kill you or you will get over it.

    Fear seems to be in the thinking about it stage.

    Just do it.

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