This is NOT a JW in-law issue. This is a parent-child issue.
By allowing your JW relatives and in-laws to indoctrinate your daughter with the filthy dogma of the WTS, you are abdicating your role as your child's parent and protector.
You're placing her in the middle of an emotionally devastating tug-of-war. She's the pawn who will lose her chance at a happy childhood unless you and your ex do something about it NOW.
Contact your ex and agree on ground rules about what, when, how, and where you and he will allow your daughter to be in contact with the JWs. Think like a child welfare judge for a moment. Your child is being contaminated and confused by the JW relatives and their teachings; therefore, YOU must limit their contact with your daughter. Supervised (by YOU) visitation would be appropriate at this stage. They must either come to your home to visit your daughter, or you must go with your daughter to see them. No more meetings, "preaching," books, or other propaganda. They break the rules, they lose visitation privileges. They'll get the message.
This is how I handled the situation when I left the JWs, and my JW parents wanted to see my son. I allowed it, but on MY TERMS ONLY. I understand that your in-laws still love your daughter, but you must take responsibility for your child's safety when they visit.
Also keep in mind that when she is alone with them for the weekend, if she has an accident (heaven forbid) and needs blood transfusions to survive, they will refuse to give them. Maybe there will be time for a phone call to you or your ex; maybe not. Think about it.
Grow up and be a PARENT.
JW inlaw issue...need help please :)
by TinyDancer124 12 Replies latest jw friends
-
parakeet
-
flipper
TINY DANCER- I agree with Robert 7- that your daughter has a right to a relationship with the grandparents - however they DO NOT have the right to force their religious beliefs on your daughter . So I would say have a serious heart to heart talk with the in law grandparents that you do not want your daughter to be taken to any meetings or out in service with them while visiting them. If they respect your wishes - then continue the visits, but if not , tell them they will have to come see their grandaughter at your home so you can supervise the visits. Meet control, with more control. It's your call - you are the mom ! Good luck, Peace out, Mr. Flipper
-
bgurl81
I'm kind of in a similar situation, except still married. When I finally left the religion, I made it very clear that I did not want my children further confused. My oldest remember going to a couple of meetings, but we were pretty much inactive after the birth of my second child (and the oldest was two). So transitioning the children was easy enough... except for when my in laws would try to take them to the meeting, read them the bible stories, and outright tell them that "mommy is wrong" and "Jehovah isn't happy" with the choices I am making. The outcome: the in laws were not allowed to visit or see my children for a very long time. I even went as far as informing the school, so if they tried to visit that way (which they eventually did), they would not be allowed in. Eventually, I got my point across. I strongly believe in the extended family and feel strong that children should be surrounded by lots of family. As long as my in laws respect my rules and do not cross the lines I've drawn, they are welcome to have a relationship with my children. I want them to. However, if they break my rules and cross the lines, they lose that privilege.
As for your situation, I would inform them of your standing and what your wishes are regarding your kids going to the meetings and talking about the religion. If they can respect your wishes, I would allow them to see them. Since you only have two weekends a month, I would send them one weekend every other month. Make your ex give up one of his weekends. Maybe the kids could visit on a school break. Since they're only two hours away... they could always make the trip to visit with them for the day. JMO.