For those raised as a JW...

by DisconnectingDrone 20 Replies latest jw friends

  • Layla33
    Layla33

    We have reached a happy medium. In fact, the topic has never really come up with my mother, more so my maternal grandmother, but not my mother that I can remember. Her personal feeling is that because I am an adult, I am entitled to believe what I want - her job is done. I respect that a lot from her. My father, he deals with it, I am very close to my father and love him immensly, so religion has never been a big issue between us. Once and a while he may bring something up - but he has told me in no uncertain terms that he will never turn his back on his children. I respect him so much for that. It may have something to do with the fact that I am the only girl, but I have made peace with their beliefs and mine, my love for them has never changed because of it.

  • peggy
    peggy

    Mom studied and was baptized when I was four. My dad hated her religion but never showed a better way of life. My three syblings and I were baptized in our teens. All around 74-75.......Hmmmmmmmmmm. I woke up late in life. My dad is now studying, he is 80. I suppose he is looking for any insurance that he will live again. I.....well I....I wish to live my life peacefully....death is nothing to be ashamed of.

  • PrimateDave
    PrimateDave

    My parents are Witnesses. My mother auxiliary pioneers a lot and my father is an elder. They are good people just trying to do what they think is right. I was "born in", so I got the indoctrination quite early on. Two years ago, I did the necessary research to break that lifetime of indoctrination and left the religion. When I told them (in email and over the phone) that I was no longer a JW, they were shocked. I also refused to discuss my reasons for leaving unless they first read my suggested reading list for them. They did not, so I have not.

    They have not shunned me, though. Perhaps, part of the reason for that is that I live a couple thousand miles away and I agree to them sending me the WTS literature which I glance through. I was already tired of it when I was still in, and now it sickens me with its repetitious vapidity and intellectual dishonesty. So, we are in this "holding pattern" for now where we talk on the phone but don't argue or discuss religion.

    Dave

  • DisconnectingDrone
    DisconnectingDrone

    Thanks for all your responses. There's certainly a lot to think about and I think the key is to try and gradually fade.
    The only thing that runs through my mind is, if I had children and someone knocked on my door and offered a chance for our family to live forever petting lions my alarm bells would ring. I suppose the only thing that makes sense is back then their was no internet and my parents only heard one side of the story.

  • Mickey mouse
    Mickey mouse

    My parents were also raised in so I see them as victims too. I don't know whether they ever had doubts but now I feel a huge responsibilty to do the right thing for my children. My parents raised us in most likely in ignorance of the facts. I know different.

    Mickey.

  • dinah
    dinah

    Born-in here, also.

    There was a time when I was very angry with my Mother, but now I can realize she didn't know any better. She was baptised when I was less than a year old after studying for a little over a year. My great-grandmother was a Witness, her parents were Bible Students.

    Mom is the only one in her family who is a Witness. I guess maybe they are just ignorant about how being raised "in the truth" affects peopple. My mother never had to attend school as a Witness kid.

    My anger is mostly directed at the GB and a Dead Judge.

  • VoidEater
    VoidEater

    Like my parents, I was born in.

    All I do is show up without an agenda in their lives. I express my love and respect for them, I express my disappointments and hurts when it seems appropriate or important.

    Surprisingly, I enjoy a close relationship with my parents. I'm not sure how they've been able to get away from the mind control of the WTS for that to happen.

  • bgurl81
    bgurl81

    I am not angry with my parents. My parents believed in something they thought was true. I doubt they would have joined and followed if they believed it was all lies. The path I am taking spiritually, at this point, feels right to me. Whose to say that I am making the wrong decision for my children now and when they're my age, will have found a newer better truth. I hope they don't resent me for doing what I feel is right. I have no resentment or anger. I have felt frustration, confusion, grief, and hurt - but not towards my parents - for a hope that was not real.

  • LouBelle
    LouBelle

    DisconnectingDrone - My mother was baptised when I was also about 7/ 8 - she thought it to be the right way for her and thought it was the best life for me too. I was baptised at 16 and only disfellowshipped at 29. Thank goodness my mother came out the same time I did that.

    I have never blamed my mother for bringing me up in that faith - how could I? I had a bit of a personal breakthrough very recently and shared it with my mum. An hour later she phoned me in tears to apologise for bringing me up in that faith and that she should have known. We had a wonderful heart to heart. It's all part of my journey and I can't really blame her for that.

  • justhuman
    justhuman

    Yeah I share the same thoughts and feelings like you...I was born, and left when I was 33...I wish I could turn the clock and never got baptized at 17..

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