Opinions/Experiences With Polyamory?

by White Dove 19 Replies latest jw friends

  • White Dove
    White Dove

    So, anyone ever think that more would be nice?

    Against it?

    Your opinions please.

  • DJK

    I'm not against it. If I were single it wouldn't be for me though. I would be afraid someone may eventually feel used or taken advantage of in some way.

  • jgnat

    Gosh, I was afraid to look up the definition on that. I finally took the plunge. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polyamory

    As far as I can tell, the concept falls apart in practice. Amorous relationships usually have some dominance or power-play element going on. Fairness flies out the window.

  • Alpaca


    Isn't that supposed to be every guy's fantasy???

    I 've had the chance, but never done it. Guess I am just too conventional with that kind of stuff.

    I know people who have done it and they seemed to have positive comments about it.



  • yknot

    Well in my experience (high school) some one always gets jealous or possessive.

  • Hope4Others

    I do not think it would be possible for one or the others to not become attached emotionally in time and therefore someone would always

    be definitely hurt.

    Me, I'm too loyal of a person to ever have tried such a thing, I'm just a one man woman.

    just my 2 cents worth,



  • cognizant dissident
    cognizant dissident

    Isn't it hard enough to get along with just one other person? Throw a third or fourth into the mix and you are just asking for trouble! Technically, I don't see anything morally wrong with it, being an atheist, I think it is just fraught with potential logistical problems. How does one divvy up one's time and attention between more than one person fairly and equitably so that no one get's jealous or possesive.

    If we look at how children vie from babyhood for their parent's attentions, acting out against their siblings due to jealousy and anger, we can see that it is human nature for us to be competitive and possessive. I suppose adults can make a choice to overcome human nature and renounce competition, possessiveness and jealousy, I just think it is extremely difficult and not likely to be successful. Also, even if one does make that choice, why does that deserve a parade or a march? I never see any monogomay parades going on around town!


  • WTWizard

    With the recent hubbub with the polygamy cult, I am still in favor of allowing it, as long as all parties involved know what's going on and it is consensual. What I am against is prearranged polygamous marriages, where the participants are not free to back out. They are forced into it, and become sex slaves. I am also against prearranged monogamous marriages, simply because initiatory force is needed to get all parties to go along with it.

    As aor adultery, what I see wrong is when they do it and then lie about it. If all parties know what's going on and consent to it, I see no problem. However, that is not usually what happens. Usually, the main spouse knows nothing about it, and the relationship suffers from the need to keep it sneaky. When the wife (or husband) finds out, there is the big trust issue. They have to deal with a partner that will commit adultery behind the other's back, and that's what blows the trust.

  • lonelysheep

    I don't see anything wrong with it. I'm guessing an even number might work best, whether it be 2, 4, 8...

  • White Dove
    White Dove

    My cousin has a friend that is into it and she says that it is more work than monogomous relationships because of the affore mentioned reasons. She says that it can work if all are committed to making it work. It takes a lot more communication and openness about expectations, plans, and the like.

    I think that even numbers would actually be better because of the third being squeezed out. Maybe four of any or no mix of the two sexes.

    I was thinking that that would be nice but as I'm not connected with anyone, it's not going to happen for a long time.

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