My brother invites me to his graduation...may open up can of worms...(Sigh)

by FreedomFrog 17 Replies latest jw friends

  • FreedomFrog
    FreedomFrog

    Ok, my baby brother wants me to come to his graduation ceremony. From what my mom said, he really wants me there. Here's the situation so far...

    I know my aunt/uncle/and cousins, along with my parents and half of my old KH that I grew up with will be there. My aunt shuns me like never before even though I'm not DF'd or DA. My own mother hasn't talked with me for...hmmm, it's been a good while. I've even left messages on her phone just to say "I love you, miss you, hope everything is ok" but with no return call.

    This is the same family that didn't go to my uncle's funeral a few months back because of it being in a church...as some of you may remember me posting about.

    My mother called on behalf of my brother but part of me wonders what their motivations are. I wasn't invited to my nephew's baby shower/or any other family cookouts they have.

    I know that if I do go, first, I have to deal with the congregation that has been pestering my mom to get me to accept a bible study...I've avoided them. Then I'll have to deal with my aunt not to mention the cold stare downs she gives.

    I want to go to support my brother but I'm sure they are going to say something hurtful that I don't want to deal with. On top of that, my brother has been talked out of going to college and so now he's (well mom actually is) proud to be "certified" heating and air...whatever that means.

    My Sister is already 27 and still works at a five and dime store, and my other sister (32 yrs) who is married to a, well lets just say a guy who "says" he cant work...( trying to be nice here) She has worked and still works at Wendy's supporting her husband and 2 children. All of which will be there at the graduation.

    Anyway, part of me wants to go to support my brother and part of me knows I'll be eaten alive.

    If I do decide to go, any suggestions on how I should deal with the rest of my family?

  • Bumble Bee
    Bumble Bee

    hhhmmm, that's a tough one. Is there any way you an go, but not sit near the family? Can you ask him to just take a few min either before or after the graduation ceremony to spend with just you and him?

  • Quandry
    Quandry

    This is my best motherly advice.

    Suck it up and go.This means alot to your brother. Smile at everyone, even if they say something less than nice. Be the gracious, loving daughter. You be the one to treat them kindly and be the better person. If they start on Bible study, meetings, etc., just thank them for their concern.

    I know some will disagree.

    But let me tell you, you do not want to look back on your life later with regrets. I am 56 years old. My father is dead and my mother just died three weeks ago.Yours will too. Many things you will wish you could change, but cannot.

    Make your brother happy. Make his day special.

  • Awakened at Gilead
    Awakened at Gilead

    I would go and support your brother.... If your family gives you a hard time you need to learn to stand up to them. You have a right to believe what you wish and support who you wish. If they bug you about meetings you can say "hank you" and ignore them and move on. But show your brother that family is first.

    IMHO

    [email protected]

  • Tired of the Hypocrisy
    Tired of the Hypocrisy

    If it were me, I would go. It is your brother's only graduation apparently since he is a certified hvac technician, and is being forced to drop college. as far as the rest of them go, treat them like they are the kings and queens of teh world. They are your family. No matter what they say, don't let them ruin this for your brother on account of you reacting in kind. Don't give them legitimate reasons to shun you. Going thru these types of things are tough, but they build character. Sometimes that is all we have and it is usually what we are judged on.

  • jamiebowers
    jamiebowers

    If/when they ask you about a study, just say politely but firmly, "No thanks, I'm not interested. Please don't ask me again." Then have a lovely day with your brother.

  • jamiebowers
    jamiebowers

    And don't be so quick to look down your nose at your brother being an HVAC technician. I have a college degree, and those guys make way more money than I do.

  • wha happened?
    wha happened?

    I agree with quandary. Go and act as u would at any event. Normal. They expect u to be the apostate as described in every WT. The way things are going at the WT your actions may be a catalyst for others to leave as well.

  • Qcmbr
    Qcmbr

    Phone your brother and discuss it with him. Might open his eyes.

  • John Doe
    John Doe

    Just be yourself. If they mention the meetings or a book study, just wryly smirk and say "Oh, you're still doing that stuff, huh?" It would be interesting to say the least.

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