We all like to point the finger at other J-Dubs who are extremely judgmental (And most of them are) but before many of you saw “the real light”, we were all just as bad as some of the others. I’ve got one example about myself. When I was a more hard core J-dub a friend of mine who wasn’t baptized (however raised in it) but studying decided to grow a beard. Not really that big of a deal but I tried to reason with him (remember I was wearing my J-dub blinders at the time) about how bad it was for him to do that, the dangers of him stumbling others, yada-yada-yada! Now looking back I probably contributed to him not ever getting baptized because of how stupid I must have sounded trying to reason with him about the dangers having beard (I know it sounds stupid but remember I was wearing my J-dub blinders). BTW, him and I are still good friends (since I’ve become apostate) and we laugh about that story all of the time.
Times when you were judgmental as a J-Dub?
by superman 8 Replies latest jw friends
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WTWizard
I was brought in by someone that was extremely judgmental, and wanted me to live to excessively high standards. He wanted me to pioneer and to cut myself off from the outside world, and to become involved with the witlesses in living and employment areas. He is the one that trained me to be excessively judgmental while I was in.
Gradually, I saw that most of the rules were specious, and that I had to work on being more tolerant of others' rights to believe as they saw fit. Eventually, I bailed out and wasted much hounder time by fading (going to two different congregations and leaving both of them hanging). Now, the only things I judge others on is their volitional actions that have a direct effect on my own happiness or lack thereof. Not some stupid thing like what music they listen to or whether they celebrate the holidays.
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Tired of the Hypocrisy
In all honesty I was not all that judgemental. That is one of the reasons this stupid religion bugged me so much. I would be at a "gathering" or amybe a meeting and someone would start in on someone this or someone that and a lot of the others would chime in too. With their harsh judgements. I hate what the watchtower does to people's minds.
"Death To the wacthtower!
Death To their Governing body of Perverted Old Molesting Swine!" -
journey-on
I really don't think I was ever that judgmental. I tried not to participate in the gossip mills that the sisters (and some of the brothers) are prone to.
My sister was so judgmental of every little thing I did growing up making me feel guilty at the slightest thing, that it turned me just the opposite.
But, I do remember thinking on Memorial night, "Look there's the Nevercomes family making their once a year appearance." That still bothers me
that I looked at them as "lesser" witnesses than the rest of us. Shame on me.
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loosie
I was judgemental. I didn't really like myslef that way, but the other jw's did.
Now I try really hard not to be judgemental. Sometimes I take that opposite direction to the extreme. I have a friend who starting sleeping with another man before her currrent husband moved out of the house. Which I really don't approve of. Am I being judgemental or am I having moral standards?
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Warlock
I'm judgemental RIGHT NOW!
Warlock
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LouBelle
I was judging people by default being in a religion that believed that only their members would be saved.
Many times out on the field I would judge those that didn't want to listen, perhaps not verbally but in my heart I was saying "your day will come at armegeddon" - how terrible was that!
I now know what it like to be judged by those very people and others - I don't really care what the JWs think of me but when people you don't know have presumed something about you or whisper to people around them and point at you because you're a bit different - it's not cool. So I truly try not to judge anyone anymore - I don't know them, don't know their circumstances.
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berylblue
I was extremely judgmental when it came to persons who were not loving, were not open minded, did not help out the needy and sick, criticized others while never taking a look at their own flaws
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sparrow
I was just having this conversation with my JW father last night. Both my parents are remarried - my mum to a non-witness and my father to a witness. He and his new wife were disfellowshipped when they got married because he wasn't "free" to marry. I missed BOTH their weddings because I was being a stupid judgemental witness and didn't agree with their choice. I now regret it big time. Sad part is - I explained this to him last night but he is still back in and disagrees with my view...