God weighs in

by nvrgnbk 19 Replies latest jw friends

  • nvrgnbk

    If you can't perceive my existence you're not really looking.

    There are special people that can.

    Don't be bothered by the fact that these people can't agree on anything about me.

    The point is that they believe and that's good enough for me.

    How shall I reward them?

    I'll be there when they're suffering.


    Admiring their faith.

    Though they disagree about how their faith will ultimately work out, it makes life easier for them somehow.

    The poor fools that don't know me are left to suffer all by themselves.

    You're all going to die.

    Wouldn't it be eaiser to face your fate knowing I was watching it all, permitting it all, and occasionally scourging a little too for good measure?



  • 5go

    I gave you freedom of speech, religion, and thought!

    I gave you the best sex of your life!

    I gave you the bible your reading after god's foremen killed everyone that translated it!

    I never asked for anything back!

    I am the definition of cool!

    So why do you still hate me?

    P.S. I am the Devil, Bitches

  • serotonin_wraith

    God again, inspiring serotonin_wraith to give you this message. What do you mean, you don't believe that? You're telling me you believe I inspired some men from the desert 3500 years ago to write my book, but you don't believe it's happening now? What kind of thinking is that? Don't make me angry! Jesus!

    Speaking of Jesus, I'm sorry for the hold up in sending him back. We got caught up in a game of chess, and since we're both perfect, neither of us could lose. It's at a stalemate. But that time has given me the chance to think things over. It turns out writing that book was a mistake. Instead of bringing people together, it only drove people further and further apart due to disagreements over how it should be interpreted! I should have seen it coming, shouldn't I?

    I've learnt some things from you lot too. I honestly thought witches existed. The smell of their burning bodies pleased me, but as soon as they stood in front of me ready for judgement, I looked into their souls and discovered they were all just innocent people! I wish I could have ammended that mistake in the second printing of the Bible, but I would have looked less than perfect if I'd gone back on my Word, so I left it.

    What else? Ah yes. The whole sin thing. You smart Christians have accepted evolution, but you haven't really thought through what that does to the idea of sin and a fallen world. If there was pain and suffering, animals eating animals, human evolution over a longer time period than 6000 years, well it just shows I designed a planet with natural disasters and a process that kills of 99% of my creatures, and that it's not man's fault! Come on now! Why would I send Jesus back?

    I'm sure you get you a warm fuzzy feeling when you think I'm up here somewhere, but it's not like I do much. My miraculous healing interventions only seem to match what modern medicine can do, haven't you noticed that? I didn't cure people of appendicitus, but when science finds a way to help people survive that, you suddenly think I've had a hand in it? Get real! I'm the one who gave it to humans before they'd even sinned!

    Honestly guys, you'd be better off without me. That bionic eye is pretty cool, still needs some work to get to my standard of healing blindness, but it shows you can look after yourself. Jesus isn't coming back now I've decided, so carry on under that assumption and you'll be helping the human race.


    P.S. Don't pick on SW for this post. I've told you, the holy sprit directed him to type it. If you have a problem, bring it to me.

  • real one
    real one

    God is so much bigger than your puny little minds can conceive!

  • real one
    real one


  • VoidEater

    The thing is, I am. And I am love. And that's it. That one scripture about nailed it on the head. I am love.

    I don't love you "if...". I don't love you more "when you...".

    I don't judge, I have no "will", I don't desire anything from you or for you.

    I have no Plan, no vengence, no anger. I don't make hurricanes, or the rain fall, or save door-to-door proselytizers from the boogyman.

    You made up everything else, seeing me as you see yourselves (or refuse to see yourselves - come on, take responsibility for your own actions, you only do what you wish to do because it answers some need within you - and I have no needs). Quit claiming I commanded this or that - don't lay this on my doorstep! ;-)

    When I speak to you, I speak only to you. You think you can hear what I'm telling someone else? Frankly, you're hearing isn't that good. Indeed, unless you're just receiving the message of love I have for you, you're hearing your own voices.

    Love -God

    EDITED: PS - anyone can hear me in the voice of those they cherish. No decoder ring necessary.

  • nvrgnbk
    God is so much bigger than your puny little minds can conceive!


    That's the point.

    You're one of the special ones, real one.

  • MissingLink
    God is so much bigger than your puny little minds can conceive!

    Bigger perhaps. And more cruel and hateful than any of us can imagine. (I'm talking of the bible god here - If there's a real god out there, don't be offended sir)

  • ninja

    God weighs in?.....wow...weight watchers attracts everyone

  • odie67


    lmao....you brought tears to my eyes

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