I looked in my crystal ball...

by changeling 10 Replies latest jw friends

  • changeling

    And saw many JW's making plans for a gargantuan goodie night on the night of the last Book Study. Something along the lines of "Tonight I'm gonna party like it's 1999."

    I looked again and saw a letter from the Governing Body warning the "dear sheep" of such foolish and worldly behaviour and of the dangers that could result.

    Has anyone else had such visions?

    changeling :)

  • flipper

    CHANGELING- I've had visions of all known attendance records being broken at said final " home book studies" and actually alcohol sneaked in undercover to celebrate one last time ! Peace out, Mr. Flipper

  • llbh

    I would like to think that they will celebrate, but i fear that they will celebrating thr announcement as food at the proper time, which for them is.

    Many parents will be relieved that is one less meeting to take the chlidren to



  • journey-on

    I see excitement and celebration! But wait...there's a dark cloud appearing! Jubilation has turned to moaning.

    Tues. nights will now be considered an extra field service time, making return visits, and conducting Bible studies.

    Wait! There's more......words coming from the mouths of nine old men...shhhh. Listen. "Surely those seeking to

    advance in the ministry can arrange to use this opportunity to consider the pioneer work as these final days draw

    to a close."

  • Homerovah the Almighty
    Homerovah the Almighty

    I can envision a lot of JWS not going to the book study in the coming months, just to get a jump up on things.

    And hey do they really think the average Jo-blo jw is going to do their own or family study, come on get real

  • WTWizard

    A Kingdumb Misery article telling people that it is totally inappropriate to celebrate with a super-goodie night on the last book study. I think it's a forgone conclusion that they will want the God machines out in field circus that evening, every week, and will be hounding those who miss it.

  • Tired of the Hypocrisy
    Tired of the Hypocrisy

    I gazed into my own crystal ball and begged to see....and I saw.

    A group of evil old men, dressed in red, drunk with the blood of innocent children, and stained with the seminal fluids of 144,000 child molesting scum. And look, from the throne in Brooklyn a light brighter than any has ever seen. It bears the troof! The troof that bubbles forth to the masses like waters to those thirsting and meat at its proper time to those hungering for it. And out of the light stepped forward the GOVERNING BODY. And a cheer rose up from the Great Crowd of witlesses and killers and molesters of children, "HAIL THE GOVERNING BODY!"

    Then silence as the Great Crowd of ewes and sons of ewes stood by eagerly to hear the wondrous troof. In awe the cisterns of saliva drained from their very mouths in anticipation.

    "We see your suffering and we give relief", Sayeth the Almighty GOVERNING BODY. "Our riches have been gathered together for the Battle of the Great Day of the GOVERNING BODY, we looked and we saw, and it was good. Onward we march into battle, glory to the New Book Study Arrangement! Gird yourselves to walk into the Paradise. A place has been made ready for thee in Patterson. We have purple drink for thee that is sweet to the taste and refreshing and liberating to thine souls......"

    WHAT! A noise from heaven stifles the blathering of the governing body. It is the trumpet of war, and coming on His white horse is the Chosen One. He and He alone has the power to Right the Wrongs of the governing body. He rides a white horse and has an inkhorn in one hand and a sword in the other as he charges forward with the reins in his teeth, frothing at the mouth as He swoops down upon the governing body. He has a Name, and his name is a symbol of name and the symbol of the name is I R S ! With His inkhorn he will write new scrolls, scrolls of accountancy and fines and penalties and then He writes, "The Society is to be dismantled. It will be made piecemeal and its fleshy parts will be food for the birds of heaven and the creeping things of the earth." And with with his sword He Smites the governing body and lifts up their robes so that their tender and fleshy hind parts are visible to the molesters of children and He commands, "Come! Ravage those who have ravaged the innocent! Come! Drain the blood of the ones who have no heart and deserve it not! Come! Share in the spoils of their riches!"

    And it came to pass that upon the year 2009 the washtowel society and its governing body of evil and perverse bastards were bent over for final justice. AMEN

  • Meeting Junkie No More
    Meeting Junkie No More

    Tired of the Hypocrisy:

    You are a man of VISION!

  • wings

    Tired of the Hypocrisy:

    You are a man of VISION!

    Nice try....I'll always think of you as a fat old cowboy, no matter how many teeth you show. (self description burned in my memory) I'm thinking that the State of TEXAS is going to invade Bethel, due to a anomymous phone call from a young man complaining of emotional black male from one of his overseerers. They will take out all the young single men and hold them and not let them contact their families (who for sure sent them there), they will put them in isolation rooms with full mini bars and all the bad music they want to listen to, and tell them to have some fun. While the legal team of the WTBTS is trying to get control of the situation, this is being blasted all over the cable news network. Three young brothers at a time are interviewed on every major news network. They speak softly about how good it was for them at Bethel, and they knew of no emotional black male, and they could leave any time they wanted (HA!). Well the "people" didn't buy their story. All the young men were removed and put in various college domitories all over the country. The old men, cried, the old women dreamed dreams, the young women had visions and went to college too.

  • Tired of the Hypocrisy
    Tired of the Hypocrisy

    mjnm and wings....Thanks! And ya, no matter what I am still a simple and fat old cowboy!

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