What do you do when you want to wack an old woman?????

by wings 38 Replies latest jw friends

  • fjtoth
    Anybody have a joke? That always makes me feel better.

    Here's one from the latest Saturday Evening Post:

    I've sure gotten old. I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, new knees. Fought prostate cancer and diabetes. I'm half blind, can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine, take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts. Have bouts with dementia. Have poor circulation; hardly feel my hands and feet anymore. Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92. Have lost all my friends. But, thank God, I still have my driver's license.

    Here's another one:

    Three guys die together in an accident and go to heaven. When they get there, St. Peter says, "We only have one rule here in heaven ... don't step on the ducks."

    So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their best to avoid them, the first guy accidentally
    steps on one.

    Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest woman he ever saw. St. Peter chains them together and says "Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly woman!"

    The next day, the second guy steps accidentally on a duck, and along comes St. Peter, who doesn't miss a thing, and with him is another extremely ugly woman. He chains them together with
    the same admonishment as for the first guy.

    The third guy has observed all this and not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly woman, is very, VERY careful where he steps. He manages to go months without stepping on any
    ducks, but one day St. Peter comes up to him with the most gorgeous woman he has ever laid eyes on ... a very tall, tanned, curvaceous, sexy blonde. St. Peter chains them together without
    saying a word. The guy remarks, "I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all of eternity?"

    She says, "I don't know about you, but I stepped on a duck."

  • wings

    loosie, that sounds like fun. I might just have to learn to play the Sims. Spare JWD from my endless rantings.

  • wings

    fjtoth, lol, thanks.

    BTW, I still have my drivers license

  • wings
    Now I am feeling sorry for your Mother....

    mouthy, me too. I was just having a hard week.

    BTW I do this because I love her, not because I owe her. She was mentally ill when I was growing up, my antics were nothing compared to hers. Also I paid for my antics by surviving six teenagers.

    I am also doing this for my dad who always took care of me and of my mom, and who put me in charge when he died.

  • White Dove
    White Dove

    It must be so hard to see you mom like this and then to have to put up with her abuses when you're trying to help. It's enough to rattle anyone's cage. I saw in the newspaper here that the hospital has support groups and that one of them is support for care givers. Have you checked into support groups for yourself? Just an idea.

  • changeling

    Mouthy: Wings meant no disrespect. She is dealing with more than most of us could ever handle and needs to let off steam. Some of us have not had the priviledge of having a loving mom who doted on us, but we still care for them in their old age. We may not do it perfectly and we may have some bad moments but I bet few here would change places with us.


  • mouthy

    Ok. Sorry if I spoke out of turn, I apoligise

  • AGuest


  • AGuest

    I hope I didn't offend anyone or break any rules. Just trying to give someone a laugh. I will remove my joke, if necessary.


    SA, on her own and now concerned that maybe she shouldn't have been...

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