Apostate Dilemma

by Princess Daisy Boo 12 Replies latest jw friends

  • Princess Daisy Boo
    Princess Daisy Boo

    Oh, sit tight... I need to tell you a bit of background first...

    Oh, about 12/13 years ago, when I was still in, I became friends with a little crowd of dubs that were new to our area and cong. They were quite a liberal bunch - certainly the most liberal I had ever come across and although they were striving for priviledges etc, they got up to a lot of naughty sh!t and definitly committed DFable offences. Well I wasn't exactly innocent either... I was just relieved to have come accross likeminded friends that my parents wouldn't get on my case about. I guess what it boils down to is that they/we were all super hypocrites.

    Anyways, around the same time, I started dating my future hubby ('wordly') and as we got more serious, I got more and more tired of the charade that we were putting up and the pressure on me for dating a worldly boy and I moved out of home and just stopped going to meetings altogether. My friendship with this crowd lost a bit steam as Nick and I created our new life together, but I have kept in touch occasionally over the years with one of the couples. Earlier this year, I heard that the husband had been DFed - I guess his past caught up with him. At around the same time, his Dad died and not long after, they were expecting a baby and the wife had a miscarriage.

    I have been in touch via facebook with this couple, and somehow made plans to get together in the next few days. I know them as the super hypocrites that they were and although the husband is now DFed, I know that he is trying to get reinstated because of the pressure of losing his family at such a sad time. His mother, newly widowed wont talk to him at all. His only communication with his briother is related to business. His wife is under loads of pressure as she is depressed and not coping well after the miscarriage.

    So, the things is, if we do see them now, how do I deal with my opinions about the dubs. I have always been frank and open with them. I feel like I need to say something, but I dont know whether I should. On the one hand, I believe that if they just stopped to think about things, they would be out in flash, but on the other, maybe I should mind my own business.

    I feel this weird need or desire to help other people out of the borg!!!

  • TheSilence

    I would say don't force the issue, but if it comes up be honest about what you think and feel. Just let the flow of the conversation happen naturally... and whatever comes up be yourself.


  • Princess Daisy Boo
    Princess Daisy Boo

    Thanks Jackie!

    I think I may need to have a couple of drinks for dutch courage, because if the conversation does somehow go in that direction, I really want to pursue that matter, but you are right - dont push it!

  • quietlyleaving

    your happiness and contentment are the biggest anti-witness

  • Frequent_Fader_Miles
    your happiness and contentment are the biggest anti-witness

    Very true! And as compared to the current state of their lives ... you may not need to push the matter at all. Sometimes, being tactful and simply planting seeds of doubt works wonders.

  • changeling

    I agree with Jackie, don't push the envelope. And QL hit the nail on the head, your happiness should speak volumes.

    changeling :)

  • Eyes Open
    Eyes Open

    Be gentle, but honest as the situation allows.

    If they really want to go back to the WTS, they will - whatever you say.

  • yknot

    Approach them as people first JWs last.

    They have enough pressures right now.

    Go with the flow, but not to the point of compromising yourself.

    Have fun, spread a little light heartedness into their time of need.

    Be a friend.

    Just my 2cents....good vibes


  • lawrence

    We don't always need to state things. They need an upbeat person to listen, and care. Maybe bring some popcorn and a copy of Captain Ron or Overboard and give them an opportunity to stop thinking and laugh, even for just a few hours.

  • Quirky1

    PDB - Just be "yourself".

    No facades.


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