Awakend at Gilead inspires me to speak frankly with my wife........

by oompa 28 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  AuldSoul

  Awakened: Even if she talks to the elders, they are NOT authorized to encourage separation or even say that about a mate. I know as an ex-elder. That's a big no-no...

  While you are technically correct, I can use my own example to demonstrate that oompa might not be off base. My father is the Presiding Overseer of the congregation I grew up in, but he and my mother actively and repeatedly encouraged my wife to separate from me on the grounds of "Spiritual Endangerment". She would come home bawling her eyes out, but wouldn't explain why.

  When I finally found out what was going on, I called my dad and informed him that if he or any of the elders or my mother or any other JW ever again breathed a suggestion like that to my wife I would be happy to sue the perpetrators on the tort of Alienation of Affection, but that was surely a very uneasy test of my relationship with my wife.

  Oompa, she may just be very scared right now. That will subside.

  Respectfully,
  AuldSoul
• 

  Awakened at Gilead

  When I finally found out what was going on, I called my dad and informed him that if he or any of the elders or my mother or any other JW ever again breathed a suggestion like that to my wife I would be happy to sue the perpetrators on the tort of Alienation of Affection, but that was surely a very uneasy test of my relationship with my wife.

  Well, what do you expect from window washers and custodians masquerading as Marriage Counselors?

  But as you say, you could sue if they told your wife that. So by the book, this is hands off.

  Keep on trying to talk to your wife. BTW thanks for posting your pic. You look good for 46.

  

  A@G
• 

  wings

  I personally hate being thought of as spiritually endandering anyone. Truth is that I am. Being against this religion is the only thing I am absolutely sure about.

  If the elders state that or not doesn't matter to me. I am endandering, or I am biteing off my tounge. Back to the fade, back to living lies., back to pretending it is innocent.

  If you take the politics out of it.....can you be you and be loved for it? Is that important to you?

  My uncle, an incredible artist and musician, recently moved away from his life. He was in his 70's. He was a documentary film maker, and also sailed (competed in races). Anyway, his health was failing, he was miserable. He moved to Georgia, lives on a lake, makes dulcimers, and jams with his buddies regularly.

  He says he has no heath concerns anymore, living your life dreams, he says is powerful.

  wings
• 

  Awakened at Gilead

  Wings....

  We, oompa's friends, can say anything we like...

  The elders, on the other hand can't. They'll get in trouble with Big Brother.

  BTW, with your uncle, intersting point. Did he separate from his wife at the age of 70 something?

  I like that you say that we need to be respected for who we are and not have to deal with the politics of it all.

  A@G
• 

  wings

  Did he separate from his wife at the age of 70 something?

  No, she was willing to go with him. He left his kids and their kids behind. They visit, but don't rule his life anymore.

  The elders, on the other hand can't. They'll get in trouble with Big Brother.

  After you have been away from this for awhile, you start seeing the transparency of their power.

  I like that you say that we need to be respected for who we are and not have to deal with the politics of it all

  It is called freedom. I am just learning to love and appreciate it!
• 

  Quirky1

  Oompa,

  At first, since leaving the JW's, I was having a social struggle but I am gradually getting over it. I am kind of a loner myself so being isolated a little doesn't bother me too much. Since the weather has cleared a little from winter I have no problem staying occupied after I leave work. I am outside till 9-10 pm. Yeah, there is still those depressed times but I really try not to think about it and I think it is partially due to the winter weather. Gloomy old sh*t.

  I really do not know your situation but it does sound like you can take care of yourself, financially. Have you thought of getting away for awhile and clear your mind of everything that may or may not be bothering you? Maybe go see some old friends or relatives. Or, do the sailing thing for awhile. I kind of envy you in the sense that you have the means to support such an activity. If I could do it I would and I think my wife would go with me and it wouldn't bother me a bit if she did. She could use the time for deprogramming from the WTBTS.

  I know you have commented on several of my threads, as well as many others, and I have taken all the advice I have received to heart and thought thru it very well and I appreciate it very much. I hope that whatever you decide it is right in your heart. You have to be true to yourself and be happy.

  Quirky1
• 

  Awakened at Gilead

  Oompa,

  Like Quirky1 says, is sailing with your wife on the discussion table?

  A@G
• 

  oompa

  Quirky: If I could do it I would and I think my wife would go with me and it wouldn't bother me a bit if she did. She could use the time for deprogramming from the WTBTS.

  Guys, the very first thing she mentioned to even a few months break/sail was "but what about the meetings? I know you don't, but I like going to the meetings" and that was the best part of the conversation....it was down hill from there. She likes our/her "routine" and admits it may be boring, but she likes that...likes stability. I understand it not everyones idea of a great time to live in even a 45 footer....it is smaller, does not have the creature comforts with all the THINGS of a land life, and no you don't see your friends as much....it is more of an adventure. And she is an anti-adventurer..........................oompa
• 

  sustainedhaze

  She want to be my partner...even if I am not a JW...but she still has her same life and friend albeit without me by her side. But this is about as weird a marriage as a FLDS compound in TX, but I don't think she even notices..............oompa

  this really sucks all....wish I could grow some spherical things in the testicular region

  oompa, my heart truly goes out to you, your pain is familiar to me. Awakening and knowing the futility of trying to extricate others is a brutally devastating feeling.

  Also, to me the feeling of knowing that far too many years were spent toeing the line and swallowing the lies. I was robbed of an education, and therefore led the

  typical underqualified, under-employed life. If you have the means to escape, perhaps this is truly the time for you to take a powder. Solitude can be either

  an extremely positive or negative experience, something only you can answer. I have my dreams of my little grass hut in the land of umbrella drinks too. If you

  decide to go, then go balls-out, drink it all in. My awakening has shown me that we really only get the one chance here, I would hold nothing against you for trying

  to move on to cleaner waters in favor of the stagnant pool so many of us float in.