The edict is NO CONTACT WITH DISFELLOWSHIPPED PEOPLE. My jw aunt was discplined after my jw mother reported her to the elders for allowing her df'd children to attend a wake at her house for a deceased fleshly brother who was not a jw. The aunt wasn't df'd, but she was warned against that type of contact with her df'd kids. Apparently, it's ok for a jw to attend a funeral or wake where df'd people will be, if it's held in a public place, since the jw has no choice in the matter. But to allow a df'd person in your home, even in the case of funeral or wake is not allowed. It is my understanding that the only justifiable contact with df'd people is in the case of medical emergency. Anyway, have a great time with your daughter and her family!
I wrote a scathing letter when I disassociated myself, and warned elders that any further attempts to harass me or trespass on my property would have legal consequences. So I was viewed as a demonized apostate bastard from hell by the JWs. My marriage fell apart as a result, and I'm glad we didn't have kids.
My new status as an "apostate" didn't stop my mother from associating with me. In fact, our relationship got even closer. I don't know if elders pressured her to avoid me, but if they did she didn't listen. I even continued as her P/A and executor.
Family is everything. Everyone else are just strangers. The fact that they'd shun you, most of them never knowing why, proves they are utterly worthless as "friends" or acceptable associates.
If you cast them off, you will regret it for the rest of your life.
You don't know me but honestly,, trust me on this one.
I have several family members, and close friends who are DF'd. I MAKE time to see them and really don't care
what the elders think.
I have noticed that if you are confident, and secure with your decision and let them know how you feel,
they tend to back off in this type of situation.