People Suck

by Bgurltryal 16 Replies latest jw friends

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  joelbear

  Bgurl,

  People are selfish because they are animals. They are driven by their instinct to survive, seek comfort and increase their territory.

  The human spark is the ability to move beyond this to some degree and seek out what is good for others even at a cost to yourself. However, this spark does not come naturally. It comes from experiencing love from others. So it is a cycle. It takes more work to be loving if we have not experienced love ourselves, but it is rewarding if we know we are starting a new cycle of love ourselves.

  We make 1000's of choices each day that all have the potential of beginning love cycles. Holding the door open for someone, letting someone in traffic, small things. Then of course there are larger and larger matters as well.

  Sacrifice is doing something that costs you and benefits someone else. This type of giving is rare because it so goes against our natural tendencies.

  Appreciate goodness when you find it and experience it, it is rare.

  Joel
• 

  funkyderek

  The human spark is the ability to move beyond this to some degree and seek out what is good for others even at a cost to yourself.

  No Joel, lots of animals do that. Many animals put more effort into reproducing or defending their kin than on their own pleasure. Their instinct is primarily to reproduce.
  Humans, on the other hand, are the only species who choose whether and when to reproduce. Most of us do this for selfish reasons, we want more money, more time, more sex, whatever, putting the very survival of our bloodline at risk for temporary selfish pleasure.
  I would go as far as to say that it is our selfishness more than our selflessness that defines us as humans.

  --
  Those who can induce you to believe absurdities can induce you to commit attrocities - Voltaire
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  joelbear

  reproducing and defending your kin is part of the survival instinct, not giving.
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  funkyderek

  reproducing and defending your kin is part of the survival instinct, not giving.

  Many animals behave in ways that appear altruistic. So do many humans.

  --
  Those who can induce you to believe absurdities can induce you to commit attrocities - Voltaire
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  joelbear

  I agree that many actions of animals and humans appear altruistic.

  My point is that true giving comes with a true cost to the individual.

  Joel
• 

  tyydyy

  Sorry to hear you have a problem. You seem to be very vague about the circumstances, and probably for good reason, but ultimatly you are responsible for your own happiness. If you are happy it is because of your own feelings about what happened to you. If you are unhappy it is because of your own feelings about what happened to you.

  I personally was badly burned about 6 yrs ago. I was in a lot of pain and was not necessarily happy about that but I looked at the silver lining and found many things to be happy about. I now look back on that experience with fond memories.

  Not long after that experience someone refused to pay $13,000 that they owed me for work I did. (I was a self employed electrician) This caused me to lose my business. Did that make me happy? No! After a short while I decided that this man was not going to affect my happiness.

  We are all aware of the expression that money can't buy happiness. And that is true. We all decide by ourselves every day of our life whether or not to be happy. (unless you have a mental illness and that is a different matter). So NOONE can cause you to be unhappy.

  Can someone cause you pain? Yes. Physically. If they hurt or kill someone you care about that would be painfull too. But can they cause you pain by something they say. I don't believe so. In that case it is you that is causing the pain. You choose to let those words affect you.

  This lecture is more of a rant than a personal admonition. I don't know anything about your circumstances so this isn't directed toward them. It is just general commentary on the subject.

  Tim B
• 

  4horsemen

  Bgirl,

  An illustration from a book the title which escapes me. I just remember the lesson.

  A vampire needs a small amount of fresh blood each night. Without it he will suffer great pain, and if the lack continues, die.

  Its last night it comes upon you. You know there is no such thing as vampires but he fits the stereotype, cape, air, accent, etc.

  You get to talking he's rational, even pleasant. Finally, he come clean with his "condition"

  "Bgirl, I am a vampire. I require some of your blood. Not much, a small amount. There will be little risk. Please, if not, I will feel great agony, perhaps die. May I suck your blood?"

  You're "selfish" if you refuse?

  That phrase "hurt somebody else" what a great manipulator! Our feelings are hurt only because we allow them to be. In a sense we are all vampires, we only have a problem with people when they dont do what we want. Then we have all sorts of catch phrases to manipulate behavior. If only people were as honest with their feelings/situation as the vampire was. Then we could have honest, selfish choices, we would not have to feel guilty,sad,hurt,etc about

  What if the vampire didnt ask? What if he came at you physically?

  You'd be selfish to resist? Then why let some hold your emotions hostage?

  There is another thread "Past My Prime" or something like that. The thread starter is angry about wasting prime years of their life. I felt like that too, for a long time. The WTS "hurt my feelings" and much worse because they took years I could not get back.

  How convenient to be hurt and blame them for my current failings!

  It was only when I realized not only were they aware they hurt my feelings, or were aware and thought I was wrong, deluded, whatever, they did not care.

  We are all free to make choices. We are all free to do whatever we want. Blaming anyone or anything else for your problems or what you feel is like getting mad at your shoelaces because you tied your shoes too tight and your feet hurt.

  "85% of the people dont care about your problems. The other 15% are glad you have them." Tommy Lasorda