How many have had a problem with the confession idea to elders?

by Hope4Others 21 Replies latest jw friends

  • Hope4Others


    I heard it when the elders would spill all the details to my active, but not even a MS husband

    I always suspected things like that.


  • Hope4Others


    NOT God.

    But they think they are the next closest thing to him, besides the Gb.


  • 10p

    Its not just the privacy issue either that bothered me ... it was that they dig down to get all the filthy details.

    All they need to do really is say "this is the JW definition of fornication ..." then explain how it includes oral sex etc ... "are you confessing to fornication?"

    And then with dignity and remorse, the person could admit. But the filthy bastards don't ... they ask things like "did he ejaculate in you?" and completely demean you.

    And you are not allowed to bring in witnesses either ... thats just WRONG. The whole 'judicial' system of JWs stinks rotten. The society takes their fancy lawyers to supreme courts around the world that have juries and are open to the public, and the defense is allowed an attorney etc ... but they deny these simple 'checks and balances' to the flock.

  • Hope4Others

    amber rose,

    assemble a team to ask for god to forgive you

    they are just men, I never really had any good thoughts about this process in my whole jw days.


    should not have confessed

    I'm sure most of us feel that way now, "We feel guilty for even simple nothings".


    Hubby and I were in a car group one morning with 2 Elders

    Yes, I recall quite well the trusty little car groups. hmmm


    I remember in the 70's that my brother and I would snoop thru my dad's briefcase. We found a few things. Some were fairly juicy

    And what did you do with those new things??

    Especially when he would ask me in front of others how things were going

    Trying to embarrass you a little like "I know what you did".


  • Hope4Others


    But the filthy bastards don't ... they ask things like "did he ejaculate in you?" and completely demean you.

    And you are not allowed to bring in witnesses either ... thats just WRONG.

    Why do they need all the nitty gritty details anyways? Yes I did it, Yes I'm sorry. You wouldn't be sorry if you weren't there the rest it just crap I don't even think the catholic church

    confession asks for intimate details. And everyone should have a witness or recording for back-up to what they say.


  • Rosie Angel
    Rosie Angel

    I don't trust them to keep secrets while they are elders. My Mom said that she told two elders during a confidential meeting that I had run away and moved in with my worldly boyfriend. When she went to the District Convention that year, somehow, EVERYONE knew. Because I was well-liked in the congregation, it was a big shocker for everyone, so a lot of people that Mom hardly knew came up to ask if it was really true and express their condolences. I wish that she'd have gotten angry at the elders for doing the wrong thing, but nooooo, it was all MY fault.

  • Hope4Others

    Rosie Angel

    a lot of people that Mom hardly knew came up to ask if it was really true and express their condolences.

    Did it make you feel bad that your mom said anything to the elders at all? Myself I can be quite protective now that I have left jw land towards my children.

    No jw gets to know anything about what they do, where they go, who they date including "outlaws", I can be quite evasive when necessary the general public(jw's) really only want to bein

    the know it isn't because they really care. (imo) Hope everything is going well for you, and Welcome to the board. I hope to here from you lots.



  • R.Crusoe

    Personally, I would not expect others to feel compelled to tell me anything had I ever entertained the notion of being elder drool!

    The notion of it employs guilt as a life style, but that's JW lifeblood anyhow, so the problem is with the whole ethos as well as elder garbage!

  • LouBelle

    I never admitted anything to the elders - I reasoned they were only men. Even when they found something out and wanted me to implicate someone else I would refuse - would tell them to go speak to the person concerned and leave me outta it.

  • Connaughty

    The system works well if the Elders can respect the privacy of the congregation.

    In our congregation, I was the secretary, and only I and the PO had the keys to the congregation files. The Judicial Committee files however were in a a metal file box that had a separate lock(the PO and I had the keys for this box}. Not all the Elders in the body knew of the details of the files in that box, but they did know about the charges for the congregation member.

    We had good body that respected the privacy of such matters, but I do recall two elders that would reveal details to their spouses. They were removed for doing so.

    Something disturbed me when I was pioneering in the early 70's. I was talking to a person whose sister was married to an Elder in a congregation in the East of Canada. I asked this person if she had any news about a brother who I had met back then. She was apparently visiting her sister down East, and what she told me was details that could of only been given in a judicial committe. This person giving the info wasn't even in the organization. There was a definite breach of confidentiality there.

    I do see the need for talking and confiding our problems to a Mature individuals, but it will backfire if that person can't respect your confidence. You may be better off talking to a Schrink who is under law to maintain your confidence.

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