People who "leave" but never LEAVE

by B_Deserter 17 Replies latest jw experiences

  • B_Deserter
    B_Deserter

    I was talking to a friend of mine that I recently got into contact with. We were talking about beliefs and how I don't believe in any God. She told me she still has the same beliefs, but just doesn't like the people. She's not doing anything according to JW doctrine, and she's pretty much resigned herself to "die at armageddon." I've noticed something.

    The people that have an easy time leaving "the truth" are the people who never really leave. When they're disfellowshipped, they still believe everything that JW's teach, but they just don't want to go through the motions anymore. In actuality, it's proof that just because some people don't have a traumatic time leaving JWs, it isn't proof that it isn't a cult, because those people never really left the cult. They still accept the rules but they just passively break away and start a different life. Some of them may eventually adopt different beliefs, but this is well after they've established a social structure outside the church.

  • Sirona
    Sirona
    The people that have an easy time leaving "the truth" are the people who never really leave.

    Oh no! I don't agree.

    I know a few people who still believe it and who have left - and they are seriously screwed up! They don't know which way to turn. They can't live in the world, they can't live in the JWs. They walk around feeling guilty all the time and thinking God hates them.

    They're a mess.

    Compare that to someone who gets the cult bullshit out of their head and actually develops their own personality. They often develop spirituality too (since there was no real spirituality in the JWs). Some of them lose their belief in god and end up feeling light and free and happy!

    Sirona

  • Hope4Others
    Hope4Others

    I am kind of on the same wave length as Sirona, Once you completely leave mentally you are a different individual. I know I am not the same as I was then, but it does take a long time to totally distance yourself. This may mean trying or looking to other spiritual ideas, reading studying other religious beliefs to get the whole picture. It helped me to understand people a little better. This is one of the hardest things you will ever have to do, it means completely re working your entire belief structure which is no easy task as it ties deeply into your subconscious. hope4others

  • dogisgod
    dogisgod

    You never really leave unless you can accept that you were brainwashed and you need to take steps to change what your mind has been filled with. For many years I still believed the doctrines and talk about not just having "congitive dissonance" I was a billboard for it. It is the ultimate sad and depressed state of being living every day knowing God absolutely WILL destroy you having your eyeballs melt out of your head etc because that is what the WT told you. You simply cannot have more happiness than sadness living that way. Your interpretations of everything will still be filtered thru WT interpretation and you will never be able to set real boundries in your life and will always be bowing and accepting to what you feel are authoritive figures.

    Have your friend read C of C. and check into this website. It won't hurt...might help.

  • dinah
    dinah

    Those people who leave but never really "leave" the mindset are just stunted, IMHO. It wasn't until I figured out it was not true that I could move on. I figured it out with just the bible and prayer---then CoC to put the nail in the coffin. I may still be twisting in the wind a little spiritually speaking, but I am doing so much better now.

    If you don't leave it behind you just have arrested development.

  • real one
    real one

    as i have said before all that i learned was not lies. they have a bunch of crazy doctrines and try to control peoples lives, which i did not allow to happen to a certain degree, but i admire their determination

  • betteroffdead
    betteroffdead

    correct me if I'm wrong deserter but if I'm following your thinking about your quote is that it may be easier for those people to leave even if they still believe they may feel they are still being "righteous" because they see other witnesses hypocrisy bible related or everyday actions and act or feel they act more truthful so that justifies their leaving because the others aren't following "theocratic order" so they have no problems not following them. and if thats not it then let's make my take on it.:D

  • yknot
    yknot

    I think the real difference is not whether a person still agrees with some doctrines (the usual suspect of rejection of trinty, I of S and hell, maybe even holidays) of the JWs but whether a person still believes the corporation organization was appointed by Jesus and is acting as God's sole channel. Without that belief of appointment there can be no bondage to the WTBS.

  • mkr32208
    mkr32208

    This is like an abuse victim who was told "it's your fault that you were abused" and goes through life believing it. If you don't come to grips with it then you'll always be a victim of it...

  • Finally-Free
    Finally-Free
    The people that have an easy time leaving "the truth" are the people who never really leave.

    My leaving was difficult because of the stress and cost of my marital breakdown and divorce. Shedding the beliefs was a piece of cake. A single afternoon of research did that for me. I had no problem admitting I was seriously duped.

    W

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