Smart answers/email

by Hope4Others 0 Replies latest social humour

  • Hope4Others

    SMART ANSWER #6 -- It was mealtime during a flight on Hooters Airline.
    'Would you like dinner?' the flight attendant asked John, seated in
    front. 'What are my choices?' John asked. 'Yes or no,' she replied.

    SMART ANSWER #5 -- A flight attendant was stationed at the departure
    gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for
    the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her.
    Without missing a beat, she said, 'Sir, I need to see your ticket, not
    your stub.'

    SMART ANSWER #4 -- A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the
    grocery store but she couldn't find one big enough for her family. She
    asked a stock boy, 'Do these turkeys get any bigger?' The stock boy
    replied, 'No ma'am, they're dead.'

    SMART ANSWER #3 -- The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped
    for speeding rolled down his window. 'I've been waiting for you all
    day,' the cop said. The kid replied, 'Yeah, well I got here as fast as I
    could.' When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way
    without a ticket.

    SMART ANSWER #2 -- A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A
    sign comes up that reads, ' Low Bridge overhead.' Before he knows it,
    the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge.
    Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop
    gets out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on his
    hips and says, 'Got stuck, huh?' The truck driver says, 'No, I was
    delivering this bridge and ran out of gas.'

    SMART ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2007 -- A college teacher reminds her class of
    tomorrow's final exam. 'Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you
    not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious
    personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but
    that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!' A smart-ass guy in the back of
    the room raised his hand and asked, 'What would you say if tomorrow I
    said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?' The
    entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence is
    restored, the teacher smiles knowingly at the student, shakes her head
    and sweetly says, ' Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your
    other hand.'

    Two bonus extras: A blonde goes to the post office to buy stamps for her
    Christmas cards. She says to the clerk, 'May I have 50 Christmas
    The clerk says, 'What denomination?'
    The blonde says, 'God help us. Has it come to this? Give me 6 Catholic,
    12 Presbyterian, 10 Lutheran and 22 Baptists.'

    A woman is standing nude looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy
    with what she see's and says to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look
    old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
    The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'
    He never heard the shot....

    "I am not afraid of tomorrow, for I have seen yesterday and I love
    William Allen White

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