My brother thinks like a pharisee!

by tsar_robles 10 Replies latest jw friends

  • tsar_robles

    Earlier today I called my aging father to check on him; he asked me if my brother has met my newborn yet. I told him 'well, no... I invited him to come over to meet his nephew whenever he'd like but never responded'.

    Then my dad asked me to let him know he'll be writing to him soon. So that's what I did. I briefly talked to my brother and relayed the message. I also reminded him to come meet his nephew. He said he couldn't make that sacrifice if I can't make a sacrifice to go to the meetings. I tried to reason with him and explained to him that he does not have to see me, that I can go to the store or something while he comes over. "I cant jeopardize my relationship with Jh" he said. He also said he shouldnt even be talking about this with me... well, then stop emailing meeting reminders, I told him...

    It didn't matter how I tried to reason with him, to remind him that this is not what the wts or the bible has said at all. So, he p** me off and I told him 'don't you see you're in a cult, don't you see?? SO HE HANGED UP!

    Of course I wasnt gonna let it end there. I searched for his POs phone number and called him at 11pm. He knows me for a very long time and he was polite like always. I asked him, 'please answer this question for me, is there anything wrong with my brother coming over to my house to meet his new nephew? All of you know what his response was. "This has only to do with you', he said. Great, but what if the person still doesn't want to see that? Is that something that could be left to his conscience and thus respect it? - I asked him....

    he said: yes, that is correct. Well... so I texted my brother and apologized for the way the conversation ended and told him unfortunately that's how I respond to a phariseic stand. I also told him in the text msg that if he doesnt want to see my son because of his conscience then it's ok with me but that at least he should acknowledge that this is his PERSONAL opinion....

    I'm pretty sure the PO will talk to him too....

  • Hope4Others

    I guess its just a matter of his conscience, but if your not df'd its just down right heartless not to meet your new son.


  • funkyderek


    I also reminded him to come meet his nephew. He said he couldn't make that sacrifice if I can't make a sacrifice to go to the meetings.

    That is not the sort of person you want anywhere near your children. I'm sure your son will do just fine without an uncle like that.

  • R.Crusoe

    Tsar robles - you sound like a pro active caring person! I have family who've never been JW who would never do, out of pure genuine affection, what you just said, out of their hearts!

    Shame he cant see that!

  • R.Crusoe

    JW advisers, elders, higher ups etc etc are so heartless in so many ways!

    They pander to GB dictatorship running your life through your family members as if you are disposable!

    They do ruin many lives by not including, in any debate, those whose lives they manipulate via their scheming!

  • WingCommander

    Um, the question that begs to be answered here, and no one is asking it so I will.

    Why in the hell woud you want such a heartless, cold, pharasitical person around your child? If they act like this, I sure as hell wouldn't want them around me, much less my children.

    To hell with him! The "Witnesses" are his family now, so F**k him!! Whenever he needs love and support, let him suckle off the WT tit of blind obedience and ignorance.

    It never ceases to amaze me how some people will keep going back to the same people, places, organizations to be shit upon time after time! It's like saying, "Oh please sir, can I have some more mistreatment sir? Please sir?"

    Sorry, I just couldn't stand to be around or talk to someone like that.


    Wing Commander

  • ozziepost

    Hmmm, I wonder if we know what we're sayin' here.

    that's how I respond to a phariseic stand
    such a heartless, cold, pharasitical person

    What do we understand is (or was) a Pharisee?

    What was so wrong with their beliefs?

    Would you have preferred the beliefs of the Sadducees?

    I suspect we use terms as belittling labels without fully understanding the labels we attach.

  • Hortensia

    was it the pharisee who passed by on the other side of the road, and refused to help the person who needed help? The one the good samaritan helped? I think that's what is meant here by Pharisaical behavior, standing away from his own family, because of uber righteousness.

  • real one
    real one

    sounds like he is afraid of his relationship with the wts not God

  • Forscher

    Back about twenty years ago I had the epiphany that being a good JW required one to be something of a Pharisee.

    It was a particularly down time in life. I had a job which made meeting attendance difficult, but the job had the benefit of plenty of time sitting around with little or nothing to do. So I decided to sit down and read my bible with an open mind. I started with the gospels. As I reflected on Jesus' teachings and compared them with what I knew the organization encouraged, it hit me that the organization prized the attitudes of the Pharisees above those taught by the Lord. The dedication to following the teachings of men above those of Jesus. The rule-driven codes of conduct and judgmental self-righteousness. It hit me right between the eyes. So I decided right then and there that I would no longer have that kind of attitude. I also decided that I would pursue the kind of life Jesus promoted (stop judging others, live by principles rather than rules, and seek to do good towards all) above the lifestyle promoted by the organization. It certainly made my time in the organization easier to bear than before.

    Really, the super-righteous attitude encourage by the organization is self-destructive. And if your brother doesn't want to see his nephew, your son is probably better off. Don't let it get to you too much friend. Right now my wife and son are off visiting my in-laws who don't want me around because of their holier-than-thou Witnoid attitude. That attitude towards me began many years ago while I was still in good standing with the organization. I am not Df'd or DA'd. All I am is inactive, and I became so years after their daughter and grandson did. They just never could stand the fact that my wife's abusive first husband divorced her and she remarried. They still consider the remarriage unseemly. I don't need to be around such a hostile attitude and am better off away from them.


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