Your funny stories of being a JW

Layla33

I was just thinking that maybe to lighten it up a bit and we could talk about our funny stories about being in the JW religion. I thought it would be fun to read.

Some of my favorities:

Running a block and a half from dogs when I was about 8.

Letting all my note cards when I was giving a talk fall to the floor.

Tripping over the stairs as I participated in a demonstration.

Laughing out loud in a talk and not being able to stop until I went to the bathroom.

Having a fit of coughing that disrupted the entire meeting. LOL!

Anyone else want to share? Yours or others.

I can't honestly think of anything funny that happened to ME personally, it was all very boring and grim growing up as a JW, But saying that I do remember one funny thing that stuck in my mind over all these years.

My Dad used to study the bible with this young man near Perth Ontario. He was severely handicapped, not sure if he had Muscular Dystrophy or Cerebal Palsy but he was all twisted up and talked with a slur and walked all jerky. Poor guy was the sweetest person on earth though. I was about 14 then and hated going to this study not because of him but because he lived in this shack with his Mom and Dad and countless relatives. The floors were dirt in some places, it was just filthy inside and smelled greasy, I was afraid to sit down on anything and when you came out of the place you reeked of grease and whatever. The relatives of this poor guy hated the JW's but allowed him to study because it was the only attention he was getting from anyone. Probably why he was studying. Plus he didn't know how to read so we had to teach him to do that which was a bonus for him. Anyway this one day we went for a study and there was cows and chickens running around in front of the house free, it was all muddy all around the house and full of cow dung etc. His older sister came in and started making a apple pie, she was a very mouthy type and she was yelling at the others in the house mindless of us trying to study, she had the door open and in comes a cow into the house. She didn't seem to mind but because we were there she shooed it out slapping it on the rear end to get it out. Then she continued to make the pie without washing her hands....she stuck her bare hand (not a spoon) into a bowl of butter and slapped a gob of it on top of the pie before putting the crust on. the pie came out of the oven baked before we left and she offered us a piece. No thank you we said.

Ok It was funny to me, but wish we had video then, it would be hillarious.

WTWizard

I think the funniest time was when we wasted half an hour to get to a call across town. We had every red light, and it was construction. Then we had to hunt for the street, wasting another 10 minutes. And then we had to waste a couple more minutes hunting for the house, as I saw both the street and house right away (and kept my mouth shut). They had a bit of an argument about where the number was. And, after all that, the person was not home.

jibberish

Hmm, how about the single middle aged "sister" that was handicapped and was lonely and horny........and would sneak and pinch the younger guys in the butt, and give them a big juicy kiss on the lips when she could get away with it.

Or the time when the microphone attendant hit the answerer in the mouth with the microphone on a stick.

Oh, and the crazies who claimed to be of the annointed - one of whom had been divorced and remarried and never came to meetings, but was there to partake at memorial!! What a joke that religion is!!

Jib

Mickey mouse

When I was a teenager I was on the ministry with a young brother I was close to (similar age to me), he was the P.O's son actually. We were so engrossed in conversation that when the householder came to the door we couldn't remember who's turn it was. We spent a fair few seconds arguing back and forth "it's your go"... "no it's yours!" The householder shut the door in disgust and we fell about laughing!

flipper

LAYLA - I've got a couple good ones for ya ! I was 17 years old , and while out in service driving around , I had an older sister 80 something sitting next to me in the front seat, and 2 teenage sisters in the back seat . Well sister teenage horny sitting behind me had a crush on me . She was kind of psycho ( I always attracted them ) , and she started pushing up my seat under my crotch with her foot as I'm driving twisting her foot around ! I told her right then and there in front of the 80 year old, " I don't think that is appropriate sister ! " She said, " Sorry . " And stopped. Gawd. Talk about embarrassing !

In another experience I was working rural territory in the mountains , and as I was waiting in front of this cabin on the porch for somebody to answer , a Billy goat came up starting to eat my Watchtower and Awakes in my book bag ! He wouldn't stop as I tried to shoo him away ! So, finally he turned his head away, but then came back and butted me in my book bag as I held it up in front of my groin area ! He ripped a gaping 6 inch hole in my book bag ; but fortunately my groin was safe so I was able to father children later ! What is it with me and my groin or crotch area anyway ? Weird

lovelylil

I had a few very funny things happen out in service.

Once, my kids and I were chased down by some angry geese. Guess we got to close to the baby. My son and I ran in opposite directions (he was around 5) and I had to battle the geese to go get him. He was crying the whole time and it didn't seem funny but now that I think of it, it was funny. Just glad no one saw us. (no one we know of that is)

Another time when my daughter was about 7 I went up to the door with her to knock. The home had a glass door in front and when I went to knock, I looked in and right there about 15 feet from the door was this guy watching t.v. and lying on his couch TOTALLY NAKED! I quickly covered my daughter's eyes and got the heck out of there.

I couldn't help but laugh but later on I was thinking, why the HELL would you lay around naked when you have a glass front door? Lilly

senora

During the service meeting, I'm sitting in the 2nd row to the front, I so happen to look to my right and this sister with big fat breasted had just come from the rest room and is squeezing in the row to her seat. A sister who was sitting in front of her row, was sitting there minding her business, listening intently to the meeting, and all of a sudden her pony tale detached from her head and somehow got stuck to the big breasted sister's sweater who was squeezing through the row behind her seat. The sister freaked out and was trying to grab her ponytale off the sisters breast. It was sooooo funny, I was dying laughing, I had to go to the back and laugh for a half hour, along with the sister with the big boobs and her roomate. We were on the floor in pain from laughter.

The poor sister was in the 2nd row from the front. She was PISSED!!! I never even knew that the pony tail was not her real hair until I saw the pony tail dangling from the sisters breast. What a sight that was.

primitivegenius

Hmm, how about the single middle aged "sister" that was handicapped and was lonely and horny........and would sneak and pinch the younger guys in the butt, and give them a big juicy kiss on the lips when she could get away with it.

i can kinda combine the two.............. i was running those microphones.... standing at the back of the hall...... and a MARRIED sister came walking up behind me, headed back toward her seat........ she smacked me on the arse and said......... wow have you been working out......... i was so shocked i didnt know how to react lol so i just played it off as if i got that all the time. found out later that she got dfed for being an internet ho in a cult that dosent allow that sort of thing. so in hind sight think she was trolling lol.

lisavegas420

I remember an elderly sister, named Gladis Morris. (rip) Once in the service she said she was really tired today, becasue Clarence, (also, rip) her even older husband, had kept her up all night trying to have sex with her and it wouldn't stay hard.

She was talking to my mom in the front seat, like us kids in the back couldn't hear.

lisa