Divorced? Question..........

Outaservice

Divorce is much more common in the Jehovah's Witness community than they would like to admit. Probably more so than the population in general.

If you have been divorced do you think that the Watchtower Society contributed to the divorce, or caused it, or is it just possible you married some jerk or abuser and divorce would have occured no matter what religion you were, or even if you had no religion?

Possibly you got married way too young as the end was coming and there is no marriage in the resurrection if you died. Possibly you were worried that you might commit fornication and be disfellowshipped if you did not marry right away.

Would you take your spouse back if the JW's were not in the picture? (That is provided you are not remarried)

Outaservice (Who is very happy with his present ex-Special Pioneer/ex-JW wife)

aSphereisnotaCircle

No, the society was not the cause of my divorce. They are the cause of my marraige.

If it had not been for them, I would never have married a homosexual at seventeen.

Finally-Free

Shortly after I separated from my spouse we were discussing reconcilliation. The elders forbade her from reconciling with me, probably because I'm an apostate.

W

brunnhilde

I married someone I would never and should never have been with. Not a bad guy, incredibly weak and a crossdresser (and quite possibly gay) to boot, but still an ok guy, just the wrong guy for me. So in as much as the WTS was the cause of my unfortunate marriage, I suppose it could be said they caused the divorce. Though I prefer to take the credit for that myself!

brunn

SPAZnik

I married because I gave in to the coercive threat of losing my entire family and community for the "crime" of human sexuality.

I divorced because I finally stood up for myself.

I'm considering an annulment.

MMae

YES. Per GB directions, elders could not counsel my JW husband re: escalating agressiveness toward our young sons. His multi-generational JW family turned him away from mental health counseling, while they and our elders put blame on his "unsubmissive wife." I finally got a separation to protect my children. In the meantime, I asked my husband to continue to be a part of our family, and to work with me to try to find solutions to the problems that would lead up to his outbursts. However, his family (especially his mother) disapproved of this idea. (Apparently the only solution was for me to see the error of my ways, and with total submission, beg for him to return.) Consequently, my husband refused to even attend a congregation meeting with us. When I spoke with elders about my concern that my husband had abandoned our relationship, they looked at me with blank stares. (Oh yeah - I forgot - they can't counsel the JW husband about marrital issues UNLESS he's the one with the complaint/concern.) After 3 years of that non-sense I got a divorce.

I figure most of my husband's mental health issues stemmed from being born into an elite JW family with a mild developmental disability - therefore doomed to never be able to messure up, and to live every day of his life with SHAME. SO, had we NOT been JWs, and had my husband been able to see himself as the loveable person that he was (and therefore have the ability to see his own sons as loveable) - then we would have had a chance at happiness.

HSS1971

First of all, the marriage was a mistake. But after awhile I got used to it. After she left me the first time (for no good reason), I was df'd for their foggy definition of loose conduct. It was explained to me by the jc that I "must have done something" so that she left and went to stay with her jw mom. My ex wife is 18 yrs older than me. She played the leaving/separation game with her ex husband before me also. We reconciled 4 months later, but now I was not the head of my household. I had no power at all. The universe revolved around her now. It went down hill from there. One year and 9 months later (Aug. 1999) she abandoned me for the second and last time. She waited till 2002 to file for divorce. I think she did it on purpose knowing I'd be starved for female companionship. YES I believe that by DFing me, she was emboldened to show her true colors. After all I did'nt have anyone to complain to or report her to. She could get away with all sorts of UNchristian conduct. The marriage lasted only 7 years, but we were together only 3 of those. So sad. I want my 20s back so I can do them all over again. I'd definately stay away from that self-cetered and deceitful woman.

Are all JW women like that ??

StAnn

Yes. If I had been allowed to go to college, I wouldn't have seen marriage as my only other alternative. If I had been allowed to choose a mate from all of mankind instead of the five or six "eligible" men in my circuit, I'm sure I could have easily found a better spouse. If we had been allowed to pursue counseling, maybe we could have figured out what was wrong and saved the marriage. The only thing we had in common was the religion so, when that went south, so did the marriage.

NewYork44M

If you have been divorced do you think that the Watchtower Society contributed to the divorce,

Yes. Our problems started when I decided I no no longer wanted to be a witness.

Possibly you got married way too young as the end was coming and there is no marriage in the resurrection if you died.

Absolutely. I was married at 19 in 1976 and wanted to have sex before the big A hit.

Would you take your spouse back if the JW's were not in the picture?

I probably would not have divorced if we could come to a reasonable midpoint between our belief systems. However, I would NEVER go back. I paid a very high price for my freedom. But it was worth every penny.

Why are divorces so expensive? And the answere is - because they are worth it.

sspo

If you have been divorced do you think that the Watchtower Society contributed to the divorce,

Definetely, we loved each other but she could not live with an apostate and have "her spirituality endangered".

The society gives the blessing of divorcing your mate if that's the case even though the bible says otherwise. 1 Cor. 7

I despise the GB for that.

They have broken up families every where.

Divorced? Question..........

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