...Barf Bag Blogging from Bolivia/Tales From a WBT$ JW Assembly...

by OUTLAW 20 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • OUTLAW
    OUTLAW

    .............................Get Out Your Barf Bags..

    ....................JW`s Are Blogging From Bolivia!..

    ......................Image result for clown barfing

    The Zone Overseer was a Branch Committee Member from the Australia Branch. His name was Winston Payne. His talk was 'Find Happiness in the Peace of God.'

    He had many illustrations and stories. Here are some highlights from his talk..

    In Singapore our work in banned. All men have to serve 3 years and 3 months in the military. One man served 3 years and then was offered a scholarship to go to university in Australia. He took it. There he learned and was baptized. He still had 3 months left to serve back in Singapore. He went home, explained to them why he couldn't finish this service because of his Bible based conscience. For the next year he had to sit in the commander's office from 8am-5pm every single day. Then they decided he was to spend the next 3 years and 3 months in prison. Which he did. So total it was 3 years in the army, 1 year in an office, and 3 years prison. Now our faithful brother is happily serving in a Bethel Branch with a clean conscience.

    There was a young couple studying in Australia. They had a baby and moved to another city where they never continued their study. One day the baby got sick and they took it to the hospital where soon after it died. They nurse asked where they they wanted the funeral. The parents were sad and said they had no religion and no family. So the nurse gave them a brochure with a list of Ministers who preform funerals. The mother asked why Jehovah's witnesses weren't on the list. The nurse got upset, threw the brochure on the ground, and left. The couple then left the hospital, went to a phone box, and found the phone number for the Kingdom Hall. They called the brothers and explained their situation. The brother told them to stay put and they would then come meet them. They made all the arrangements for the baby's funeral. Because there are so many funerals in the cemeteries in Australia, each funeral is only allotted 20 minutes in the facility. The day of the funeral the couple showed up early. The mother saw the facility packed with people because of a funeral. She began to cry saying 'That person was so loved. My baby won't have anyone mourning it. I have no family.' Just then the brother walked up to her and asked why she wasn't going inside. 'Because there is already another funeral going on inside there.' And the brother said 'No, that is your baby's funeral. Those are all Jehovah's Witnesses, you are a part of our family now'

    JW`s Will Swear Every Word Is True!

    Image result for but wait there's more

    ...............Image result for but wait there's more

    .

    THIS IS YOUR LINK:

    Image result for aRROW POINTING DOWN

    http://eliseandelena.blogspot.com/2013/ ... -love.html

  • sparrowdown
    sparrowdown

    Sidebar recollection of Uncle Winnie (hope you don't mind 😇). Winston Payne is one of the elder assholes that went through the questions for baptism with me. Scared the shit out of me because I had to meet with him in the back room of the hall on a Saturday afternoon when the hall was empty. I walked in the room he was sitting there waiting, and he invited me to sit in a chair that had been placed in the middle of the room. I expected that we would go over the questions from the Organized book in the same way the other elders did.

    When I sat down he held up the Organized book he had had sitting on his lap and said "We don't need this, do we"

    (rhetorical) he then reached over and placed the book on a table, then turned back to me and said "let's just chat."

    I was so freaked out by this departure from procedure I barely remember what we chatted about, but I was approved for baptism, so whatever, it must have pleased "my lord." This guy was on a serious power trip and he enjoyed me squirming in my seat with nervousness. I have never forgotten it or The Great Winston Payne.

    The experiences mentioned above I have heard before - total bs in my opinion.

  • DATA-DOG
    DATA-DOG

    I call "BS" on all of it! It's a bunch of anecdotes repeated until they become myths and legends. Hey, it's how we got the bible!

    DD

  • OUTLAW
    OUTLAW

    Sidebar recollection of Uncle Winnie (hope you don't mind 😇). Winston Payne is one of the elder assholes that went through the questions for baptism with me.....Sparrowdown

    No,that`s cool..

    It`s nice to hear 1st hand experiences about the people we read about..

    .

    One WBT$ BS Story thats made the rounds multiple times here..

    Is about a poor starving JW Family coming home from the assembly..

    A loaf of bread falls from a bread truck right in front of them..

    They all had bread that night for dinner!..

    .

    ...............I`m Missing Bread..

    .......It`s Those Damn JWs Again!..

    .Image result for bread truck

  • sparrowdown
    sparrowdown

    What a shame a big bag of cash didn't fall off the back of a truck in front of them. They could have purchased a loaf of bread and donated the rest the WT.

    Oh, and another thing OUTLAW Winston's nickname was "instant pain" lol.

  • Magnum
    Magnum

    Even if their corny, barf-inducing little stories are true, they don't prove a damn thing.

    Remember their story about the man who taught Koine Greek and how he became a JW and praised the NWT? Well, that story is true. What does it prove? That the NWT is an accurate translation? No, it doesn't prove anything. The dude ain't even a JW anymore.

    the brother said 'No, that is your baby's funeral. Those are all Jehovah's Witnesses, you are a part of our family now'

    A local man told a me a story making a point opposite to that. He was an older man, baptized in his late 70's or 80's. He got sick. He told me that Witnesses showed no interest but that some church people from his area in large numbers showed extreme interest and helped him greatly. I know that's a fact because I was on the other end of the call being fussed at by him as if it were my fault (he wasn't even in my congregation).

    So there are plenty of stories that go against the ones JWs present. JWs need to spend their time, not on these waste-of-time tall tales, but on learning their own doctrine and learning the Bible to cure their extreme ignorance.

  • Magnum
    Magnum
    sparrowdown, seems Ole Uncle Winnie is full of himself. Yeah, as you said, an a-hole.
  • OUTLAW
    OUTLAW

    [email protected]!!..

    I call "BS" on all of it! It's a bunch of anecdotes repeated until they become myths and legends. Hey, it's how we got the bible!.....DD

    We`ve had threads about people giving experiences at the assembly before..

    A lot of us have done it..

    The one thing most of us had in common was,the stories were never told the way they happened..

    Other facts were missing,the story is told in a way the WBT$ Wants ect..ect..ect..

    Your not hearing the real story/experience..

  • Magnum
    Magnum
    You're not hearing the real story/experience

    I have seen many cases of that. I even complained to the Chairman's Office at a dist convention about one that I knew was total BS.

  • OUTLAW
    OUTLAW

    I have seen many cases of that. I even complained to the Chairman's Office at a dist convention about one that I knew was total BS......Magnum

    What interests me is..

    When someone like you,does something like that..LOL!!..

    So what was the reaction?!..

    Did they even attempt to try and correct the situation?..

    Or was Bullshit "OK" because it had the WBT$ Stamp of Approval on it..

    .

    .......Image result for Watchtower logo

    ..Image result for approved stamp

    Image result for Bullshit

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