Calling all Ex witnesses Again!

by FiveShadows 5 Replies latest jw friends

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  FiveShadows

  Hi everyone it's me again. Back in 2007 I had posted that I was hoping that people would be willing to share their experience going through and coming out of the organization because i had a term paper due on it. I got one interview in long beach...which was awesome, And a bunch of other replies through email...HOWEVER! I paniced! as my professor informed me that I was getting a B in the class over all...i withdrew from the class and thought it'd be better to take it over again then to get a B grade and hopefully pull an A. The twisted irony is this: I took the class in the winter, which made it a 6 week course instead of a 3 month course. I thought it would be easier to do it this way because it's the ONLY class i would have and i can finish all the work and everything quickly. But the new teacher...is extremely DIFFICULT on grading. I've spent 8-9 hours on an essay only to get a B-. So now i'm struggling to keep a B! ...the irony. Here's the thing, apparently the term paper is the same type... 'think of a problem and solutions to that problem.' Now i'm not really into 'solving the world's ocean pollution' situation. And the only thing I could think of writing as i previously thought of in my english class tha ti withdrew from is: The doctrinal teachings of disfellowshiping in religous organizations and the psychological effects on those that are excommunicated. (I have to use a different word, if i keep using 'disfellowshiped' it gets repetitive). Now this isn't going to be a 'hey lets get together so i can email you' ...because quite frankly...i recieved the assignmen last week on wed-thursday and it's due this wednesday. So i'm asking for help because my work was toxic this weekend...nightmare with different patients and everything ...So i ask you guys I'm not asking for someone to write it for me, but i'm a bit fried at writing an essay a week. My question to you guys is in two folds: 1) If you are comfortable, what were some your personal experiences and how you felt coming out of the organiations and 2) As a group of Ex witnesses, what do you think could be done to help those that are coming out of the organization that are suicidal depressed, anxious, fearful etc..and those that are still in. (How can I convince the reader that there is a serious problem that needs immediate attention?)

  Now I know for some of you, you might say, 'well that's a bit of an assignment, maybe you should focus on something else instead of how to solve this deep problem of disfellowshiped jws' I understand but this is the only thing I feel like i can writer freely about. I have to have at least 3 perosnal solutions and 2 alternative ones. the Idea behind the essay is being effective in your arguement to get the reader MOTIVATED enough to do something. So i have to use the alternative solutions as a bean bag really...stating that they are effective BUT! THERE'S A BETTER WAY..and direct the essay's focus on the 3 PEROSNAL solutions and make them look all spiffy! (is that a word, spiffy?) Anyway, any feedback in regards this situation is GREATLY appreciated. Help!

  FS
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  Dogaradodya

  2) As a group of Ex witnesses, what do you think could be done to help those that are coming out of the organization that are suicidal depressed, anxious, fearful etc..and those that are still in.

  This is just one cent worth of opinion, 'coz I'm sleepy already. I think ex-JWs should band together and not fight one another. There ought to be an Emergency 911 sort of thing for those who just came out.

  Wish you all the best with your essay.
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  VoidEater

  Due to the isolation policies and the high expectations of belief and behavior, ex-Witnesses have little to no resources to call upon when leaving the organization and deeply seated core beliefs about their unworthy, sinful natures. This makes it difficult to orient oneself in a wider social context, to form new relationships, find support, and replace negative self images with life affirming ones.

  Ex-Witnesses must first contend with great guilt over not being able to subscribe to their former belief systems, which translates into a certaintly that they have "missed the mark" and fallen from God's grace because they cannot put wholesale belief into their former religion. This is exascerbated by at least a degree of acceptance of the religion's assertion that anyone leaving is defective, has been stumbled by Satan and destined for certain death.

  Since no faithful Witnesses are allowed to communicate or otherwise associate with the ex-Witness, and because as a Witness the ex-Witness was discourage or disallowed from establishing relationships outside of the religion, there is often quite literally no one they can turn to. A common these among Witness doctrine is that there is nowhere else to go once leaving the religion; a common avoidance beahvior on recently leaving ex-Witnesses is that no one else can understand what it's like to have been "in", nor can they understand the "coded language" that is part of the belief system they are trying to grapple with.

  Possible therapeutic interventions would include desensitization (showing that "the world" is not as evil nor as dangerous as they have been taught) and building new beliefs through positive, non-judgmental relationships. These are particularly difficult, however, as the ex-Witness will have significant trust issues to work through.

  Anti-anxiety and anti-depression medications as an adjunct to therapy can be helpful. Again, the ex-Witness will not necessarily be open to these as they have been taught to view drugs, and by extension perhaps psychotropic medications, as the instruments by which Satan and other demonic forces infiltrate the mind.

  Some ex-Witnesses will be searching for a religious-based belief system to replace their former system. For these, ecumenical groups that do not aggressively present startlingly different concepts can be an avenue for decompression and reassessment. For others, who may find solace in a highly non- or anti-religious viewpoint, it can be helpful to present ethical structures such as secular humanism as alternatives: Witnesses have been taught that morality or ethics can only come from a "Theocracy" (a government system with God at its head), and it can be a relief to learn that codes of ethics do exist completely separate from religious doctrine.

  At it's heart, Witnesses have been taught that there is no life, possibility of happiness, or really anything good or worthy, outside of their religion. providing an atmosphere of gentleness, respect and possibility can go a long way toward rehabilitation and reintegration into society,
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  jwfacts

  There is a lot of info on disfellowshipping at http://www.jwfacts.com/index_files/disfellowship.htm

  One solution is that governments and courts need to stop being concerned about getting involved with spiritual matters. Presently JWs have won the right to disfellowship legally, because it is a religious matter. Governments need to say that regardless, religion does not have the right to break certain basic human rights, which includes the right to freely associate with family.
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  jwfacts

  Extending disfellowshipping and the resultant shunning to immediate family members is in my opinion contrary the United Nations Universal Declaration of Human Rights as adopted and proclaimed by General Assembly resolution 217 A (III) of 10 Dec. 1948, Article 12:

  No one shall be subjected to arbitrary interference with his privacy, family, home or correspondence, nor to attacks upon his honour and reputation. Everyone has the right to the protection of the law against such interference or attacks.
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  besty

  In answer to q1 our story is here:

  http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/7/144705/1.ashx