Two years out of the org for me. What I have learned & accepted about life!

by jambon1 15 Replies latest jw experiences

  • jambon1
    jambon1

    Isn't life a wee bit strange? If I had written this a year ago, I would be writting different comments about my observations.

    Yet, that is the pivotal point for me. That is the reason why I could never have remained a JW. My point? - Life changes your opinions. You don't always have the same opinion about something now, that you had when you were 18.

    But the WTS asks you to take an oath. To 'swear' to believe something forever. Isn't that a bit silly?

    When I was 18 and new in the truth, you couldn't stop me. I really felt like I believed it at one time. As I progressed, I pioneered & became a m/s. I was zealous.

    But, very quickly, as my responsibilities changed in life, I started to change my views on certain matters. And, because the WTS dictates your views on almost every tiny little matter in life, I found myself having inner conflicts all the time. I was having to give talks on the platform, to say words that I started to question, to doubt.

    At the time this was very difficult. In actual fact, my mental stability was on the rocks because I was thinking so deeply about lots of different matters, My opinions and views were changing and there was nothing that I could do about it.

    But that is what I have come to accept about life. You change! And rather than fighting it, you should embrace it.

    At the moment, I can look back at how I thought as an 'inactive non-returning person' & I can honestly say that my views have chaged between then & now. It's only 2 years. But I am learning & changing all the time.

    The important thing is to make the changes positive ones.

    I have been down a very rocky road in the last 2 years & I have only been emptionally stable for about the last 6 months. Its only in recent weeks that I have reached a sort of epithany regarding how I should properly deal with my family circumstances as an ex-JW. It has been hard. But after reading this site (and others), doing a lot of thinking & a lot of crying & arguing, you eventually get there.

    After that wee ramble, I suppose I am saying that my main observation of life is that you should never say never. My thoughts & opinions now will not be the same when I am 70. But as long as I am living by being true to myself, I will be happy. Don't be something you don't want to be.

    Trying to be something that I couldn't? It almost killed me. Literally.

    PS - Can I just add that humour & not taking youself too seriously are other major factors.

    I wish you the all the bst on your journey.

    Slainte!

  • Open mind
    Open mind

    Prost!

  • Gopher
    Gopher
    But as long as I am living by being true to myself, I will be happy. Don't be something you don't want to be.

    !!!!!

    PS - Can I just add that humour & not taking youself too seriously are other major factors.

    Certainly!! Except you spelled humor wrong. OK, I'm American.

    I wish you the all the bst on your journey.

    Why thank you! I'm so glad you got to where you are.

  • MMae
    MMae

    Thanks for sharing. At the time of my dfing I suspected that some of the brothers felt conflict over it. I never thought about the conflict they might feel when having to give talks on subjects that made me cringe to listen to them. That never ending "waiting on Jehovah" to open the GB eyes!

  • oompa
    oompa
    Jambon: But after reading this site (and others), doing a lot of thinking & a lot of crying & arguing, you eventually get there.

    Reading JWD and becoming a part of it has helpped me immensly.....so a big AMEN BRUDDA JAMBO!

    Jambon: You change! And rather than fighting it, you should embrace it.

    OK, now I have new campaign slogan or personal mantra......EMBRACE CHANGE....too bad that won't fit my license plate......oompa has a pulse now folks!........

  • prophecor
    prophecor

    Thanks Slaint. I've heard 'em say in the KH. Being one of Jehovah's Witnesses, isn't for everybody. I struggled hardto get beyond that as I knew it was the only true religion on the Earth. And now, I see what they were talking about. Though I don't believe they throughly understood all that, that statement itself, entailed. It's not a religion for those without a closed mind. If your mind isn't closed from the begining, you can just about forget making any headrows in the Kingdom Hall. If you a wanderer, a question asker'er, or a curiosity seeker, your life in the Hall is doomed from the begining. Freedom has it's rewards, but is filled with the most awesome of responsibility. Enjoy yours wisely.

  • MMae
    MMae

    Proph -

    I appreciate your insight. I value by years as a JW. I learned much that I wouldn't trade for anything. I fully believe that Jah lead me to the JWs at a time in my life that desparately needed what they could offer. Leaving was incredibly hard because I was convinced it was the only place God could be found. But, just as He lead me there when I needed JWs, He just as faithly lead me away, when they could no longer "feed" me spiritually. I love Jehovah. I love Jesus. They really do care for us individually.

  • Hope4Others
    Hope4Others

    Isn't it all about DE-programing yourself ? Ridding your self from the guilt & fear that there is something wrong with you without imploding?

    There's still the rare occasion within the past 10 years that I will question a thought, but being indoctrinated for 20-30 years really digs in.

    I agree also that being positive has helped me move ahead and replacing the gap with other interests that you enjoy.

    Hope4Others

  • worldtraveller
    worldtraveller

    Hey Gopher. I hear Americans spell potato with an e. Who was that genius?

  • Layla33
    Layla33

    Everyone walks their own path of enlightenment. The most important thing is that you reach it.

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