More of you might be an apostate if...

by Mindchild 10 Replies latest jw friends

  • Mindchild
    Mindchild

    You Might be a Apostate If..........

    You've ever woken up at 3AM with an urgent need to use the bathroom, and on the way back thought, "I'll just check and see who’s on Jehovahs-Witness.Com"

    You've ever dreamt about disfellowshiping the Governing Body.

    The sound of Kingdom Songs makes you gag.

    The last time you got out to meet your neighbors was in 1994 when you went door-to-door.

    You've gone 72 hours without sleep because "of an apostate fest!"

    When someone mentions "SATAN" you don't think of the devil.

    Fred Hall doesn’t like you.

    You call 911 when an elder comes around.

    Your spouse is taking up witchcraft, and your kids love dinosaurs.

    You have blue Smurfs in your living room.

    You've ever used the phrase "I love kickin You Know!"

    Your lifelong dream is to get a check from Brooklyn for all the hours you spent preaching.

    Your apostate buds call YOU for moral support.

    You think "your posts" should be made into a book.

    You've been obsessed with Xena in the chat room.

    You think your phone is tapped.

    Your phone IS tapped.

    You make odd calls to the United Nations and ask about getting library cards.

    The amount of JW literature you own fits in one hand.

    If (you-have-read-this-post):-)

    Skipper

    "The religion of the future will be a cosmic religion. The religion which based on experience, which refuses dogmatic. If there's any religion that would cope the scientific needs it will be Buddhism...." Albert Einstein

  • Snoozy
    Snoozy

    Well Hello!I certainly must be an apostate!Zena?Blue Smurfs?Boy that sounds familiar!!!LOL Snoozy from Tim's rooms!

  • Thirdson
    Thirdson

    ...you actually read an entire copy of the Watchtower.

    ...think the borg is neither a Swedish tennis player or an alien race known for zipping around the galaxy in giant cubes.

    ...dub means nothing about voice overs of foreign language films.

    ...you sing "Guide me, O thou great Jehovah" with great gusto, not because of the divine name, but because it simply is a wonderful Welsh hymn.

    Thirdson
    (almost apostate according to some)

    'To avoid criticism, say nothing, do nothing, be nothing'

  • Tammie
    Tammie

    Hey what is wrong with dinosaurs?

  • Tammie
    Tammie

    Hi Snoozy, good to see you over here.

  • ISP
    ISP

    Waking up at 3am has to be the hard bit....

    ISP

  • safe4kids
    safe4kids
    You've ever woken up at 3AM with an urgent need to use the bathroom, and on the way back thought, "I'll just check and see who’s on Jehovahs-Witness.Com"

    Oh geez!! You mean I'm not the only one??!! LOLOL This place is addictive!

    You've been obsessed with Xena in the chat room

    Hehehehehe... I guess I'm an apostate!

    Dana

    Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end...
    Closing Time, Semisonic

  • mommy
    mommy

    My internal clock is set for 3 am!

    So mindchild do I get a sticker or summat?
    wendy

    Blind faith can justify anything.~Richard Dawkins

  • wannahelp
    wannahelp

    Mommy,

    You're obviously a better apostate than most,

    Therefor I think there must be two apostate classes..

    She's one of the F&DA class (Faithful and discreet Apostate class)...

    <ROFL>...

  • Mindchild
    Mindchild

    ...staying up till 3AM has gotta be the ultimate test:-)

    Tammie...nothing wrong with dinosaurs that I know of except Barney makes me sick.

    Skipper

    It may be that your whole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

Share this

Google+
Pinterest
Reddit