It's tough letting go

by B_Deserter 7 Replies latest jw experiences

  • B_Deserter

    You know, we all like to talk about how awful the congregations we attended were, but at the end of the day, most of us are here because we need support letting go of our friends and family. Personally, I had and still do have occasionally (because I haven't faded yet) great times with some of my friends. Yeah, it's all based on our religion and they wouldn't be my friends if I didn't believe it. But, nevertheless, I still do feel a connection. My friendships in the borg aren't based on only the Watchtower. I go fishing with these people. I go to the movies, on trips, shopping, eating out, etc. That's what makes it so hard. I love my family and my friends, but pretending to the believe the crap the Watchtower spews out is just too high of a price.

  • zeroday
    But, nevertheless, I still do feel a connection. My friendships in the borg aren't based on only the Watchtower.

    Walk away and see how long those friendships last I had friends of 25 years treat me as dead and family members do the same...your connection is only as good as your belief in the borg...Their love is a false love they will drop you in an instant I don't care how many times you went fishing with them...


    Yeah, I feel ya.

    I've been telling myself I've got plenty of friends, I'm making more and it doesn't matter. It does. I have lost people I truly love and care about.

    More and more I am facing the fact that my brother and my son are NOT going to be resurrected. That smarts. I've been telling myself that I have moved on, for the most part i have, but it's leaving a bigger hole than I thought it would.

  • AlyMC

    Maybe the true friends, will stay your friends. Even though I'm openly agnostic and openly make choices they don't agree with- a few special ones have remained good friends with me over the years regardless. I don't preach to them and they don't preach to me... but we're still always there for each other.

    It really was hard letting go though, and for me it really upset me to be thought of as "weak" when I felt stronger than I ever had before. It is a tough transition, and somehow if you allow yourself to really complete the transition- you will find a peace and happiness that you couldn't find before.

  • Trevanian

    Be true to yourself, before anything else.

    Maybe your JW friends feel the same way, and you just don't know it.

    Be true to yourself and you WILL find other good friends to socialise with, go fishing with, have fun with.

    Maybe even better friends, unconditional friends, friends with whom you don't need to be a part of a religion in order to be accepted.

    This is your one life to live.

  • Dismembered

    Precisely as zeroday put it. Try telling them (your "friends") you don't believe in the watchtower spooge, and see how long they'll keep you as a "friend", once you begin to challenge their brainwashed belief system. It will be bye bye. There will be no time to "fade". You'll get your butt booted out so fast you'll be able to smell the shoe polish. I know, scary but true.


  • Maddie

    What is tough is coming to the realisation that no matter how long and and "sincere"the friendships were in the borg, they count for absolutely nothing if we leave. The reality is that in a cult true friendship doesn't exist so I have to ask myself the question is it really worth worrying about?


  • memphisbelle

    I feel the same way, but recently I have made an amazing discovery. The majority of friends that I have made over the years have suddenly vanished. I blame it on the double D's ( divoriced and/or disfellowshipped.) Looking around there really is nothing to hang onto anymore. It looks like some of the borg have found it more important to unplug themselves

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