An apostate looks at the 10 Commandments

by Mindchild 13 Replies latest jw friends

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  Mindchild

  Well gang, for my 100th post I thought I would see if I could either amuse or get some of the more traditional thinkers hair to stand up. I thought a good place to go would be an apostate’s look at the 10 Commandments.

  Commandment 1: You shall have no other gods but me

  Well the first thing that comes to my mind is why can’t I have NO Gods? The evidence is overwhelming that my existence on this planet is a result of the formula M = T/CE (M= me, T=time, C=causation and E=evolution) and hence no God is necessary. So, if you don’t mind can it be worded: “You shall have no gods?” Besides that, this law doesn’t mean a lot because everyone else has a different image of God. Since you didn’t define “me” it is a pretty lame rule if you ask me.

  Commandment 2: You shall not take the name of your Lord in vain

  I’m upset that you don’t appreciate free speech. I would think that if there were a ruler of the universe he is not going to get freaked out by someone using his name as a swear word. Hell, my ex-girlfriend used my name as a swear word all the time and so what? There are plenty of other babes who don’t know her yet:-)

  Commandment 3: You shall remember and keep the Sabbath day holy.

  Don’t you think this is pretty egocentric? After all, if you really want to make sure that people spend a whole day each week thinking about you, thanking you, and following your rules like crazy…you would have appeared as a rock star. I really need to use the Sabbath day to catch up on my sleep debt.

  Commandment 4: Honor your father and mother

  This is a pretty good rule but can I get an exemption because my parents are still both dubs and disowned me because of their belief they were serving you? And, what about cases where are parents actually turn out to be you know…those weird people that are eventually caught and arrested for doing very strange crimes. Does it still apply then?

  Commandment 5: You shall not kill

  I think this is also a good rule in principle but I wish you had been a little more careful in the way you put it. Like, what about cases of self-defense, you want me to bend over and grab my ankles while some maniac tries to do me in?

  Commandment 6: You shall not commit adultery

  I’m wondering about your motives on this one. You see, there is plenty of biological evidence to show that men have sexual instincts that motivate them to inseminate any receptive female, regardless if she is his wife or not. Indeed, and if you intended for men and women to have only one sexual partner, why is it that most sperm a man ejaculates are not for the purpose of fertilizing her egg, but rather to engage and kill other male sperm? It seems that your right hand doesn’t know what the left hand is doing here. I would think if you really wanted men and women to be sexually faithful that it would be biologically supplemented by design. Just the opposite though in real life.

  Commandment 7: You shall not steal

  Good job on this law, and would you mind making an addition on long-term borrowing being naughty?

  Commandment 8: You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor

  Why lie at all? Yet again I’m pretty damn disappointed to find that lying is nearly a universal trait not only in humans but in other species as well. Even animals lie. The Bible even encourages lying in some circumstances. Yet, gotta balance this with free speech.

  Commandment 9: You shall not covet your neighbor's goods

  Don’t you know what is good for the economy? Sheesh. Look, if I don’t see and admire my neighbors hot new car I’m not going to be motivated to work hard or go deeply into debt to get one he lusts for. Yes, I know it is unhealthy to get carried away by those desires but come on give me a break.

  Commandment 10: You shall not covet your neighbor's wife

  Here you go again getting carried away with “thought crimes.” If I see a really good-looking babe, married or not, I don’t feel there is anything wrong with feeling attracted. If I’m drooling, or otherwise making a fool of myself, then I simply need to get laid more often. See Commandment 6 for my beef about this.

  Hmm, guess I wouldn’t make a good Israelite after all.

  Skipper

  "The religion of the future will be a cosmic religion. The religion which based on experience, which refuses dogmatic. If there's any religion that would cope the scientific needs it will be Buddhism...." Albert Einstein
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  Fredhall

  Mindchild,

  If you back there, you would been stoned first.
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  Mindchild

  Well Fred, I can get stoned now too. Just one Long Island Iced Tea makes me wander around like a crazed Israelite in the promised land.

  Skipper

  "The religion of the future will be a cosmic religion. The religion which based on experience, which refuses dogmatic. If there's any religion that would cope the scientific needs it will be Buddhism...." Albert Einstein
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  Fredhall

  Mindchild,

  I can get stoned by listening to the Beatles
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  RunningMan

  In addition to the ten commandments, the Bible records a host of other
  useful prohibitions, including:

  - The eating of fat is prohibited forever. (Lev 3:17)
  - You cannot round the corners of your beard or the hair on your temples. (Lev 19:27)
  - Witches should be killed. (Ex 22:18)
  - The congregation was to be a bastard free zone. The Bible was so dead set against bastards that their children, even to the tenth generation, could not enter the assembly of the Lord. (Duet 23:2) This is in keeping with God's principle of punishing children for the wrongdoings of their parents.
  - Handicapped people could not approach God. Their presence would profane his sanctuary. (Lev 21:16-23) This scripture single-handedly offends almost every category of handicapped persons you can think of. The blind, lame, injured, hunchbacks and dwarfs are specifically named. If anyone is left out, the catchall phrase "anyone with a blemish" is thrown in to cover them. I guess in Israel, the handicapped parking stalls were at the far end of the parking lot.
  - Entrance into the assembly of the Lord was granted only to those with complete testicles (Duet 23:1) Now, I will admit that keeping one's testicles in tact is a pursuit worthy of some attention, but I have to ask: What went on in the "assembly of the Lord" that required a complete and full set of testicles? And, since testicles are usually not on display, was there someone at the gate assigned to check?
  - Anyone working on the Sabbath is to be killed. (Ex 35:2) This law was to protect the sanctity of Sunday afternoon football. Unfortunately, any player that touched the ball would have to be killed after the game, because he had touched a dead pig. (Lev 11:7,8) That would certainly make it easier to play defense.
  - Menstruating women and everything they touch are unclean. The only cure for this uncleanness was for the priest to kill a couple of pigeons. (Lev 15:19-30) What could be more logical?
  - If a couple has sex during the woman's period, the two are to be cut off from their people. (Lev 20:18) Once again, how would anyone know that this had happened? The couple is obviously not going to tell. Maybe the genital inspector from the temple made house calls.
  - Women were officially second class citizens. They were considered possessions that were owned, (Prov 12:4) and were officially subordinate (1 Cor 14:33,34).
  - Homosexual men were to be executed. (Lev 20:13) No mention is made of homosexual women.
  - If a woman grabs a man's privates during a fight, her hand is to be cut off. (Duet 25:11,12) Now, is it really necessary to have this law on the books? You get the impression that the person who was writing the laws had recently experienced this and was still a little pissed off.
  - False prophets are to be killed by their own parents. (Zech 13:3)
  - Stubborn children were to be stoned, and the stoning was to be instigated by their parents. (Duet 21:18-21)
  - And whatever you do, don't ever, ever, ever, pee against the wall (1 kings 16:11 KJV). OK, I know. The phrase "anyone who pees against the wall" is just a euphamism for men. I just couldn't resist this one.
• 

  Mindchild

  RunningMan you said...

  - The eating of fat is prohibited forever. (Lev 3:17)

  Damn, there goes the Atkins Diet.

  As for the rest of your post, all I can say is that I'm sure glad I wasn't living back there.

  By the bye, did you know who the Israelites actually were? Historical and archaeological evidence now points out that they were actually the Canaainites! What a trip. Check out the new book by Israel Finkelstein, "The Bible Unearthed: Archaeology's New Vision of Ancient Israel and the Origin of its Sacred Texts." (2001)

  Skipper

  "The religion of the future will be a cosmic religion. The religion which based on experience, which refuses dogmatic. If there's any religion that would cope the scientific needs it will be Buddhism...." Albert Einstein
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  Escargot

  Well, thank God Jesus came and put an end to the “law.” The law is death, because no one can follow it fully
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  Julie

  Here's a blurb on the *real* ten commandments:

  http://www.infidels.org/library/modern/features/2000/carrier2.html

  In part this link reads:

  -------------------------------------------------------

  Let us now turn to the Ten Commandments of Solon (Diogenes Laertius, Lives of Eminent Philosophers, 1.60), which run as follows:

  1. Trust good character more than promises.
  2. Do not speak falsely.
  3. Do good things.
  4. Do not be hasty in making friends, but do not abandon them once made.
  5. Learn to obey before you command.
  6. When giving advice, do not recommend what is most pleasing, but what is most useful.
  7. Make reason your supreme commander.
  8. Do not associate with people who do bad things.
  9. Honor the gods.
  10. Have regard for your parents.

  Unlike the Commandments of Moses, none of these is outdated or antithetical to modern moral or political thought. Every one could be taken up by anyone today, of any creed--except perhaps only one. And indeed, there is something much more profound in these commandments. They are far more useful as precepts for living one's life. Can society, can government, prevail and prosper if we fail to uphold the First Commandment of Moses? By our own written declaration of religious liberty for all, we have staked our entire national destiny on the belief that we not only can get by without it, but we ought to abolish it entirely. Yet what if we were to fail to uphold Solon's first commandment? The danger to society would be clear--indeed, doesn't this commandment speak to the heart of what makes or breaks a democratic society? Isn't it absolutely fundamental that we not trust the promises of politicians and flatterers, but elect our leaders and choose our friends instead by taking the trouble to evaluate the goodness of their character? This, then, can truly be said to be an ideal that is fundamental to modern moral and political thought.
  ----------------------------------------------------

  Let me know what you think, especially believers.

  Thanks
  Julie
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  AGuest

  Dearest Mindchild... may you have peace!

  I wanted to respond to your commentary, but was prevented from doing so by your final comment that "[I] guess I wouldn’t make a good Israelite after all..."

  Taking that to mean that you are NOT an Israelite... may I ask then the purpose of your commentary? Since the "you" that was addressed by the Law... the "you" that was given the Law... and the "you" that AGREED to be bound by the Law... was, in fact, Israel... is not your entire quoting, questioning and commentary on the Law... moot?

  I mean, why would I, say... a lawyer bound by the bar... dispute the 'oath' under which a doctor is bound... if I am not a doctor, have not agreed to BE a doctor, and have taken no oath to be BOUND as a doctor? Wouldn't questioning and commenting on the Hypocratic... be moot?

  So, if you are not "Israel"... were not "Israel"... and "wouldn't make a good Israelite after all"... why would you even consent to scrutinize the Law... at all? Particularly if it does not and did not APPLY to you?

  Or... are you, in fact, "Israel"... and find the Law to be oppressive? If this is true, then as a man of Israel, have you not heard that Israel has been RELEASED from the Law, that such Law was 'nailed to the torture [stake/wood/tree/pole] of my Lord, the Son of God, JAHESHUA MISCHAJAH... so that we can NOW be declared 'righeous' NOT by works of Law... but by works... of FAITH?

  If not, then I myself, SJ, now publish this truth to you... that the Law... WAS 'fulfilled'... by my Lord... so that it could be 'done away with' and REPLACED... by a NEW Covenant... one that does not BIND... but sets free all those who agree to enter into it.

  If, then, my dear one, you wish to 'review' the Law Covenant and chide its features, what is your point? To show that you cannot fulfill it? Indeed, you cannot. Nor can I. But... you are not REQUIRED to, for there is One who fulfilled it FOR you, so that by means of HIM... you can be 'set free'... NOT from the Law itself... from the CONDEMNATION of the Law... "if you do this, then you 'reap' that"... by means of a 'sacrifice'... a 'covering'... and 'ransom'... paid.

  I know, I know... you were only "amusing" yourself... and I apologize for being pedant and "anal". But I think it is important not to further mislead good-intentioned people, even for the sake of amusement. Don't you?

  Again, I bid you peace.

  A slave of Christ,

  SJ
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  Mindchild

  Hello SJ,

  You are correct in that I was both making an attempt at being entertaining and that I'm not an Israelite. However, even though this is obvious I think there was something of value here.

  Consider this, if for the moment I accept the idea that there was a God who gave these commands as recorded in the Bible, I would feel that I have not only the right but the duty to analyize them more carefully. In my posting, most of the comments were light hearted and not really trying to prove anything except perhaps the 6th Commandment where I mentioned the biological factors involved in human desire. If I were going to argue over anything here, it would be that. Mostly because I think that hard physical evidence is always much better than philosophical conjecture.

  As per your arguement about not being under the law, of course the JW's believed that too. When I subscribed to their belief system, I accepted that bit of dogma as well. I don't subscribe to any religious belief system at this point so this is a minor point.

  Thank you for your concerns.

  Skipper

  "The religion of the future will be a cosmic religion. The religion which based on experience, which refuses dogmatic. If there's any religion that would cope the scientific needs it will be Buddhism...." Albert Einstein