when you had to disfellowship people did it upset you , did you ever feel hypocritical and too judgemental? did you question things yourself even as an elder? what was your view on the child abuse policy ? im not having a go , im just interested to know what its like being an elder , as a second class citizen i never got chance lol
ex elders did your concience ever bother you?
by looloo 5 Replies latest jw friends
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OnTheWayOut
Most elders have great difficulty with disfellowshipping anyone for anything. I don't have vast experience with
going through with DF'ing, most cases I was involved with were cut and dry, very few were DF'ed, but some.Fully assimilated elders would find it easier to DF someone for apostasy (in any form the WTS defines it as)
than for fornication or drunkenness. Helping a doubter just means studying with them and making them
change their mind about doubts. After that, they are just too prideful or stubborn to listen to good reason so
they should be DF'ed. That's the way it seems to be with the elders.On the child abuse policy, I assumed that it wasn't the policy that was the problem. I never had to tell a little
boy or girl that there wasn't enough evidence, so shut up and keep letting Uncle Stan watch you while Mommy
is at work. Had I ever had to face that, I am confident that I wouldn't have supported the WTS policy. I say that
because I have violated WTS policy when I thought it was proper to do so on a couple of matters. One was where an
old sister had contracted HIV from a blood transfusion years back, and didn't want others to know about it. I told
others because they were going to her home and cleaning after her, washing her hair. It made a difference.Did I ever question myself as an elder? All the time. Why do you think I am here?
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lurker
I am sad to say that in the begining I thought that I was very important. As a young man having become an elder at 23 years old it really was an ego trip. After a few years and settling in I began to feel that it was very important to be an elder so that I could help erring and lost ones. As the years went by I started to see the problems in the org but still felt that I was needed to act as a buffer for those that could not stand up to the elders and the org and needed someone that they could trust and rely on. I tried my very best to be a good elder and to this day have many that when I see them tell me how much they appreciated me. I say this not for glory but because it makes me feel good to know that I may have been of help to some. Yes I do have regrets about some that were disfellowshipped by a JD I was on, but the majority I beleived at the time should have been disfellowshipped.(I am very tired tonight so my spelling may be off please excuse it.) After some 30 years I had enough and resigned, my conscience would no longer allow me to serve as an elder. I have come to the realization that there is no way is it Gods organization but only man made and subject to the whims of men. What is the truth? I am not sure now but I continue to searching and definately beleive that all organised religion is of man. Sincerely
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ferret
When I was an elder I do not remember any cases that were not open and shut where we df'd the person. If it was'nt conclusive then I always opted for mercy, and wait and see attitude. I have sat on many jc's as the PO. Everyone was shocked when I left. That was 28 years ago and we are still the talk of the town as a fading JW recently told me.
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ldrnomo
Yes many time I was bothered because I could see that the person was very emotionally weak and always felt badly because I knew that even their families could not give them the support they needed.
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looloo
lurker im still searching too , my faith in god has been restored to what it was before i studied and has helped me through recent bad times , when i went to meetings i felt it was more about pleasing men ie elders than god, i believe now that god sees our hearts not the religion that we may have been born into or brainwashed into , i thought jws were oh so different , but it was fake , except a few exceptions they are no different to the worldlys just claim to be !!!