So, you're in love with someone that you're not compatible with ....

by Frequent_Fader_Miles 44 Replies latest social relationships

  • Frequent_Fader_Miles
    Frequent_Fader_Miles

    Perhaps it was "love at first sight", but then you get to know him/her more intimately and realize your goals and amitions couldn't be further apart. Not that he/she isn't a good person ... just not right for you. The physical attraction is real, but issues that are important to you pale into insignificance in his/her mind. After giving so much of yourself, he/she now holds a special place in your heart. You love them dearly, but they don't fulfil your deepest longings. You always feel there is something missing in the relationship.

    What would be your choice? Would you stick around trying to change him/her and hope for the best? Would you be brave enough to forego the security of familiarity, to find true fulfillment in the unknown?

  • Cheetos
    Cheetos

    Just sneak out the back Jack you don't need to be coy Roy just listion to me, just get on the bus Gus you don't need to discuss much just drop off the key Lee and get your self free.

  • Finally-Free
    Finally-Free

    That's the story of my life. I've always been attracted to women I'm not compatible with. The women who would be good for me just don't interest me. I'm not sure why. It's probably a character flaw I have.

    Now I just don't bother with relationships any more.

    W

  • jgnat
    jgnat

    Hey, if the differences are significant, keep her memory alive and let the relationship go.

    On the other side of the coin, I think all men are incompatible with women. I don't get all my social needs met by my husband. So I keep a vigorous social network besides my husband to get those needs met.

  • hillbilly
    hillbilly

    that's not love...lust maybe, infatuation possibly. the question you reall need to ask if is her Ta-ta's are worth whatever she does that rubs ya the wrong way.

    ~Hill

  • JH
    JH

    They say that opposites attract, so all that counts is to be in love.

  • Frequent_Fader_Miles
    Frequent_Fader_Miles
    I keep a vigorous social network besides my husband to get those needs met.

    A very valid point indeed! It's so important not to "lose yourself" in somebody else. Provided that you already know yourself, investing socially in one person exclusively could be asking for trouble.

  • Frequent_Fader_Miles
    Frequent_Fader_Miles
    They say that opposites attract

    Generically speaking, "complements" are opposites. They "attract" because each fulfils the other's needs perfectly. They are complete opposites, and therein lies the nature of the attraction.

    Theoretically, opposites may attract ... but in reality it may be a whole different story!

  • oompa
    oompa

    This one seems easy but it isn't. The answer is to let go, because if what needs to be changed is signifcant, then it is not real love. Repeat that. The answer is to let go, because if what needs to be changed is signifcant, then it is not real love. Lust is a great thing, but real love feeling like lust is even better......oompa

  • VoidEater
    VoidEater

    Been here...

    Would you stick around trying to change him/her and hope for the best?

    I left. The relationship. The town. The state. It was a big deal, we were pretty well known among amongst our communities of interest. Everything reminded me of them, I had been consumed. Not healthy. Bad choice to get consumed? Yup. Bad choice to leave the relationship? Nope. Bad choice to leave the state? I don't know - but it led to a pretty nice life.

    Would you be brave enough to forego the security of familiarity, to find true fulfillment in the unknown?

    I did, and I did. It was hard. I spent two years in grief/rehab (figurative).

    And I'll always love them - hopefully in a more healthy way now.

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