Open letter from Leonard R. Miller to my children -- my sons.

by Fatfreek 10 Replies latest social family

  • Fatfreek
    Fatfreek

    Hello Jxxx & Gxxxxxx, my sons. You were teens when I had to leave because of a conscience crisis and now you are in your 40’s. I was too young and / or immature at the time to tell you that I truly loved you despite the fact that I was leaving a faith that I raised you to believe in. That was 30 years ago.

    This open letter is not about that -- not about your faith or my faith. I totally understand your faith’s imposition of its shunning policy – I’ve been there. It’s about my love for the both of you. It’s always been there – and it will continue.

    Time, however, is passing and I can accept that. I’m fortunate enough to say that I don’t have some terminal illness or anything like that. I simply don’t want to accept the fact that you won’t ever hear me tell you how I’ve always felt about you. Perhaps this open letter, and the fact that I suspect that somehow, some day, your curiosity will get the best of you, that you will search for my name, Leonard R. Miller, Camden, Arkansas – and you and these thoughts of mine will meet.

    As time passes I’m hoping Google, or some other Search tool, will allow you to somehow find this expression of my feelings. It’s not direct, I know. I also know what you’ve been instructed to do if you received anything directly by me so here we are – this indirect approach.

    To son Jxxx.
    J, it’s been nearly three years since that single incident where I surprised you. We were on a road trip through the Midwest and happened through your town where we visited kinfolk and friends. Your cousin actually encouraged me to go up to your house. I’m glad I did. It was a brief visit that couldn’t have lasted more than 20 minutes and I couldn’t help ask all those questions. I know it looked like I was prying – where are you working, what’re your hobbies, what are your future plans? That’s what a dad does. I’ll treasure that few minutes and the snapshot you let me take of you and your wife, L. I even made some journal notes then so I wouldn’t forget the moment. Here’re a few of them:

    As Judy and I slowly approached their house I saw a man handling some type of machine on the house’s SW corner. I told Judy to wait in the car and got out, suspecting that could be J, but couldn’t tell for certain even as I got closer. After all, it’s been some 27 years.

    The man was beginning to create downspout drainage ditches with a hand-held trencher. “I’m J -- Can I help you?”

    I was flabbergasted. Yes, I suspected it could be J but was not convinced until he actually introduced himself.

    After I apologized for startling him by coming from behind, I announced, “I’m Len (pause) Len Miller”.

    He, without much hesitation, “You’re my Dad, aren’t you?” Then, without another pause while studying the top of my head, “I guess my hair shouldn’t recede too much more if yours is any indication.”

    That was the indicator that I was somewhat welcome and he proceeded to invite me to his back patio but apologized that he was locked out of the house while wife L temporarily had the car (and the keys to the house). ….

    One final thought, J. I’m here, some 75 miles south of where you live. Call me. Ask directions. If you phone or stop by, it will be kept confidential if that is your wish.

    To son Gxxxxxx.
    G, it’s been a year and a half since our only family business in the past 30 years. It wasn’t the most pleasant setting, the funeral of your brother M’s wife B, my daughter-in-law. I’ll still treasure that brief period when I could catch up with you and your family’s progress with life in general. I’m especially proud how you took M, a non-JW, under your wing in his time of grief – and since then, in his recovery period.

    I’ve always agreed with him that living close to you could be opportunity for a re-bonding between the two of you. You were very close as kids.

    As with J, I was eager to learn as much as I could about some of your visions for the future, and the role of that brand new workshop. You have a bright mechanical mind and that makes my heart proud. Plus, much, much more. We just didn’t have the time.

    As with my offer to J, I’m here, G.
    Ps: This also goes for you -- Grandson W, Grandson A, and granddaughter M. I know a lot about you thanks to uncle F. It's not enough. I’ve never met or hugged you so here’s a virtual hug for all of you [[[[[HUG]]]]].

    To son Mxxxxxx (a.k.a. Fxxxx).
    F, it’s probably been a day or two since we’ve talked and I’m so very proud and pleased with that fact. This open letter to J and G can never diminish my continued love for you as well.

    Len Miller

  • primitivegenius
    primitivegenius

    that truely is some powerful stuff.......... i hope and pray that they do let curiosity get the best of them and are forced to read what you have so eloquently written. personally its the other way around for me....... my parents and sibling are shunning me......... ive been a dad all of a year and in the first five minutes i KNEW that no publishing company could EVER make me do such an unchristian thing to my son.

    may they read this and rekindle the embers and enjoy the love that is so OBVIOUS in your words.

  • nvrgnbk
    nvrgnbk

    I hope this initiative opens things up for you and your sons,Leonard.

  • Abandoned
    Abandoned

    You have me in tears, Mr. Miller. I hope this letter makes it to its destination. ((((((((((Fatfreek))))))))))

  • Fatfreek
    Fatfreek

    Thanks for the encouragement, Prim, Nvr, and Abandoned.

    Len

  • Rabbit
    Rabbit

    Len,

    I'm glad you're doing this...it must feel futile at times...to want to reach out to talk to all your sons and grandchildren. As long as they allow the WTS to decide 'who' should be in their lives, hearts & minds...this is the way it will be.

    Like you, me and the rest of us...your sons & my daughters will have to have their own 'crises of conscience' or their JW life will just have to get real 'personal'...something BIG will happen, before they can see a need to change course.

    As Judy and I slowly approached their house I saw a man handling some type of machine on the house’s SW corner. I told Judy to wait in the car and got out, suspecting that could be J, but couldn’t tell for certain even as I got closer. After all, it’s been some 27 years.

    The man was beginning to create downspout drainage ditches with a hand-held trencher. “I’m J -- Can I help you?”

    I understand that sad scene. The one grown child I have contact with was showing me some pictures, I couldn't recognise everyone in a photo. And I asked, "Who's that ?" She said, "You...don't know ?"

    The beautiful smile belonged to another of my own children. Just older, prettier. I would not have known her if I'd bumped into her. I was so happy to finally see her again, so why the tears ?

    Hang in there Len. Keep trying. Never Surrender.

    Your friend, Rabbit

  • Fatfreek
    Fatfreek

    Ah, from an old friend, Mr. Rabbit. Thanks for those sentiments, friend. They help keep the needed strength. Judy and I are looking forward to seeing Mr. and Mrs. Rabbit next Spring or Summer at one of big D's famous fests. Len

  • Rabbit
    Rabbit

    We'll see ya' there. Ya' know we have one coming up for New Years ?

    I was in my late 40's before the WT got way too personal in my life and had to walk away. None of us can ever give up on our kids.

    Rabbit

  • Open mind
    Open mind

    Thanks for making me get all misty eyed Len.

    Great letter. So very, very sad.

    I hope they someday see the light.

    Open Mind

  • Fatfreek
    Fatfreek

    Thanks, OM.

    Len

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