Well, Am I just a coward or what?

rache31

I've made mention in a couple of recent posts how some witnesses have come to my house. I wasn't home but received a note. In the development where I live, there are a couple of families that go to the local kh. I don't know them personally but one made it a point to tell me that she remembered me as a little kid. I feel like I'm watched. But being raised as a JW, I know that people WERE watching and waiting to tell or gossip about what they saw. I feel like I've slipped out the back door at one of those dreaded work meetings and now someone's noticed. I got comfortable in my state but it may be inevitable that I get df'd. Even my husband wants to know what the big deal is. He asked me why I would be upset. He feels if that's coming, so be it. I wonder too. Is it just the fear that was instilled in me since childhood or am I just cowardly? I don't know what to think or do. I've thought about writing a letter so I'm da'd from this whole mess. But then a part of me wonders if I could handle the reactions of my mom and several siblings who are very active. I have support from my husband but he has never been a part of this. So naturally he doesn't see the dilemma. I'm also afraid that my feelings will cause a strain on our family life. I don't want to be thinking about this all of the time. I'm taking myself away from a good husband and my kids. What should I do? HELP!!!

eclipse

Unless policy has changed, not attending the meeting is NOT a disfellowshipping offence.

Unless they have seen you openly celebrating holidays, then I am not sure why you are worried about getting DF'd...

Don't give them any more power over you or your life.

If they leave a note, throw it in the garbage without even reading it.

Trust me, they are not worth a second of your time or your emotion.

If they come around, just tell them,

''Thank you for your concern, but my meeting attendance is between me and Jehovah,

and should that ever change and become any of your business, I will inform you.''

I know it's easier said than done, but you can do it.

Frequent_Fader_Miles

Is it just the fear that was instilled in me since childhood or am I just cowardly?

I can totally relate to what you're saying. At the beginning of my fade, I used to ask myself the same question. With time, I started to fear the JWs less and live my life more.

I think that the instilled fear may be at the root of your dilemma.

rache31

Its not about meeting attendance. My mom has given me plenty of her "shepherding" on that. I'm sure its the holiday stuff. My husband could easily be blamed for that since he has never been a witness. But with the watchful neighbors I have, I wouldn't be surprised if they saw me decorating and said something. I'm trying to gain my strength to just deal with it, I guess.

worldtraveller

You will be chosing between your parents and your immediate family. It is obvious who here gets #1 billing. I also think you need a new neighbourhood. You cannot trust what these people will say to your vulnerable kids. If your husband supports you 100%, I think it's time to da yourself. (Not a big fan of fading myself). Never mind the past, it's the future that counts. Ask yourself what would Jesus do?

MissingLink

Alot of us are at the same point. Trying the fade, but facing the fact that a DF might be in the cards. It's tough alright.

Vernon Williams

First step: Eclispe

Second step: World Travler

Third step: start to enjoy the Journey,

Yours,

V

changeling

DA or DF the announcement will be the same: "So and So is not longer part of the Christian Cong."

Where you are now, you have your husband, your kids, your parents and your siblings. DA or DF you may lose the parents and siblings. Can you handle that?

If not, let things be. You may be worrying about nothing here. I know that seeing these witnesses has you rattled, but it will probably come to nothing.

Try not to let them bother you and go about your business. You've been out a long time, they probably will leave you alone.

Peace,

changeling

By the way, preserving your family intact is not cowardly. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

changeling

Barbie Doll

I wouldn't be surprised if they saw me decorating and said something. I'm trying to gain my strength to just deal with it, I guess.

Why do you care about the neighbors, you are decorating, So what...

Don't give them so much power.

Well, Am I just a coward or what?

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