mistaken email interception

by msil 19 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  msil

  My wife sent an email to her sister from my server yesterday...unfortunately she had mispelled the recipients email address and it bounced back...and I just retrieved it. As some of you know I have faded from the borganization and have been working to get my kids out too. So I will post a snippet from the email, she sent, here followed by a question:

  "...We are struggling to do what we have to do in the
  truth at the moment. MSIL is very bad spiritually
  even saying he doesn't believe it's the truth anymore,
  and trying to influence me in subtle ways to stop
  going - and it is affecting me more than I thought.
  MSIL is very clever with his reasonings and casting
  doubts. So I live with constant demotivation and no
  family head. But, I cannot give in, Satan will not
  win. And so say all of us - right?"

  Many of you have MUCH more experience with this situation than I do so I am doing a reality check here...part of me takes this as a positive (that I am whittling away and making inroads...) whereas part of me says....back off - she might start acting unpredictably. What is your read? What would you do?

  PS - I have told my wife NOTHING on any of the doctinal issues eg. 607 or the latest UN issue.....I have only worked on my agnostic views thus far. Do I take a stronger stab at a doctinal issue now? I am very tempted to start down the UN issue with her especially in view of how I feel personally betrayed by the organization.

  My objective is to get my kids out or at least thinking (my wife is too indoctinated and could not live in the real world).... My son and I have agreed that even though he is being pushed by one of the "future princes of the earth" who studies with him, that he will NOT get baptized, even though they continue to pressure.

  I see we also just received an appointment for a shepherding call from our book study conductor...and I can act dumb and attend and nod my head like a stupid sheep and blissfully bleat the words they want to hear...but I am relatively angry with the borganization at this point and feel like just saying NO THANK YOU.

  Thanks for your insights and opinions...

  Now what the hell do I do with my toaster??
• 

  Simon

  I'll post more info when I have time (at work at the mo) but this is exactly what me and Angharad went through. Angharad was on the phone to her mum telling her I was looking at 'apostate sites' and she was asking if I'd bought any second hand books recently (I guess I must have been possessed right?)

  We had some arguments and stuff but eventually Angharad saw the truth and I'm glad I didn't give up. Ironically, it was the Elders visit and their inability or refusal to answer some of my questions that convinced her I was right - prior to that she was sure that they would straighten me out and be able to put right my mistaken beliefs.

  Angharad will probably be able to tell you more from her perspective which may help.
• 

  Prisca

  I feel sorry for your wife. She must be feeling very insecure and unhappy. Plus I don't think she would be happy knowing that you have read her private mail, let alone posting it on a public discussion board.

  If I were you I'd re-assure her of your love for her and that you aren't out to "get" her. Let her know how you really feel and try to find some compromise.

  Think of how you would feel if you were in her shoes. If she wants to be a JW that is her right, just as you have the right to leave the JWs.

  I wish your family peace.
• 

  DazedAndConfused

  I can really feel for the position you are in. As with you, I want my family out of the Bog so bad I can taste it. But I have realised that I cannot do as the Witlesses do and bombard them with my thoughts. But maybe what you could do.........using one of their ploys............is to maybe print something out that you would like for her to "find". Maybe she will read while you are not there. Don't make it obvious, slip it slightly under something. Let her find it. But I also agree with prisca, this is her choice
• 

  msil

  Prisca...when I read your response I see I need to address and make something clearer (if you don't see it that's OK but perhaps I wasn't clear enough to start with).

  I don't snoop around in the private affairs of others. I think people that do that are pathetic. Having said that...I did not snoop around like a low-life and go and read her private email. It bounced back to me on my server (I run a few of those in case you didn't know and I am responsible for ensuring they run without a glitch).

  If it comes into MY inbox....is that snooping?

  Hopefully, that is clearer...

  My toaster is dysfunctional...
• 

  Latte

  MSIL,

  It takes time to get de-programmed. I can only suggest that you try to get your wife away from the JW lifestyle, take her out for day trips, and show her that there are many enjoyable pursuits out there.

  What helped me to start thinking for myself was missing meetings. When I did pick the mag's up I didn't always find myself as refreshed by them. I'm sure that you are doing good with your 'clever reasoning' my husband is very good at reasoning also.

  Do not be too discouraged by her comments re: your spirituality, and the 'struggling' she say's she is experiencing. I say this because the person whom she is directing this e-mail to may be the kind of JW who is judgmental and perhaps a little self-righteous (of course I don't know this I am guessing!) your wife may just be saying the kind of things she feels somewhat pressured to say to this person. Many so called 'weak' ones tend to feel that they have to make excuses for whatever they are, or are not doing in the cong. Which IMHO is totally unnecessary pressure.

  Anyhow, I hope that I have helped somehow. I wish you and your family the best.

  Latte
• 

  ashitaka

  Msil,

  Keep at it. In the end it works. Just do what they do....do you remember all of those district conventions telling us to leave the Watchtowers in subtle places for the family to see with "interesting" titles.

  So, leave the UN stuff in a good place, in the bathroom near the crapper, or on the table.......leave 607 stuff around, the three publications which give three different explanations of 607.......the Nazi stuff is what got me out......

  just use your subtlty, it'll work eventually.

  ashi
• 

  nelly136

  looks like youre in danger of being classed as a 'spiritual endangerment' it might also explain why youre getting a 'shepherding' call from the elders, maybe (though not neccesarily) you wife has requested one, have you asked her why they should suddenly show an interest?
  nelly
• 

  Pathofthorns

  It sounds like you are slowly creating doubts in her and she is becoming insecure because of these doubts. I would do like Latte says and do little things to take her away from the meetings.

  Keep doing what you are doing, maybe avoid doctrinal stuff like 607 and stick with "lack of love" arguments etc. Wear her down enough until she will read COC on her own.

  Path
• 

  Frenchy

  At first my wife was upset because of my attitude. I was P.O. of the congregation at the time and things were really coming to a head for me and I was very angry. I was angry at the deception and the lies and angry at myself for having been a part of that system as well. I came on very strong at times and it frightened her. I learned to tone it down and instead of trying to tell her something I asked questions, questions that are very difficult for a witness to answer. I asked in a caring manner and not sarcastically...after all, those questions bothered me and I really and sincerely sought answers. Being forced to consider these questions (after I summarily dismissed the 'canned' answers she had been taught to parrot) she was honest enough to begin admitting that certain things did not appear to be right. In time (after she was able to allow herself to think critically without the fear that God would strike her dead for doing so) she came to realize The Great Illusion for what it is.

  -Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it-