How would you divide an inheritance?

by bebu 20 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  whyizit

  My Uncle passed away several years ago. I was the only relative that lived near by, that had any type of relationship with him, and I took him to all of his Dr.s appt.s, etc.... He assumed that I would inherit anything that was left after his passing. I didn't ask for anything, but he told me that I could have what I wanted. He never put any of it in writing. After his death, all of the sudden I had cousins I didn't even know existed! I received 1/5 of what he intended. I wouldn't have minded, if that had been his wish. But it was not.

  After that, my last remaining parent had a short but sweet will made up for about $75. I was the caretaker, so that was taken into consideration. I was made Power Of Attorney and anything that was to be mine, or my siblings, was put in writing then and there. There was also some exclusions. The comment was made that they were loved and thought of, but due to a lack of personal contact, they would not be receiving an inheritance from the estate.

  It left no arguments or hard feelings.
• 

  restrangled

  When there is acutual value to an Estate involved it can get pretty sticky.

  All children should have equal amounts. Anything otherwise could divide and create horrible feelings for years between siblings.

  To set terms or conditions on an inheirtance would be trying to control from the grave. Get over it, that's watchtower tactics at its finest.

  Also, if you are concerned.... create a living trust so that the government does not get to come in, take 2 years to disperse the funds, pay attorney fees and have the state tax it.

  In a living trust all assest are immediately transferred to the heirs with no taxes, fees, or interference by lawyers.....and believe me they can eat up anything worth leaving to your kids very quickly.

  r.
• 

  stillajwexelder

  I would give it all to the worldwide work
• 

  dogisgod

  I have a brother in prison who has given my parents absolute hell since he learned to walk and talk. He is now 61. Done many types of crimes including murder. Because of him they have very little to leave. I believe he has gotten more than his fair share. He will be getting out again soon and I want to protect my mom so I will call the warden (different state) to see what we can do. He's so mean spirited to her and screams at her. She doesn't deserve that.
• 

  primitivegenius

  Would you give all of your children equal portions--completely regardless of behavior and/or attitude toward you?

  Would you take into account anything they have done to deserve something "above and beyond"?

  hell no, it would totally depend upon how they lived and the relationship, i would however start at equal shares and work out my math accordingly. you have those children who are always in trouble and who you have to bail out and you end up spending a HUGE amount of money keeping them out of jail....... i would consider that and reduce their part accordingly. there are also those who leave and never come back........... who dont talk to you or lift a finger to assist you to the doctor and there is the one that DOES............ that always is there for you.......... i would adjust their inheritance upward accordingly

  Is a child always entitled to an inheritance? (I don't mean legally, I mean, in your opinion)

  no a child isnt always deserveing............. not of money or real estate........ now pictures and personal items....... yeah prolly so. that way they know that you thought enough of them to give them something. that would be a huge F U to after your death still snub them and who wants to go to their grave doing that.

  Is it love to give an inheritance unconditionally?

  Is it love (in a certain form) to withhold or limit an inheritance? If so, under what conditions?

  ok i know people who would spend a million dollars at burger king in two months........ so alot of the time a parent knows how to keep their children cared for by limiting or extending pay out.

  i know some people who put the inheritance into a trust to pay out equal payments yearly or monthly to their irresponsible child. ive even known some to leave it all to said child under the direction of his older siblings or more mature responsible ones. that way he can have access to whatever he needs........... as long as they agree. problem with that is you gotta KNOW that your older children are good enough NOT to have a problem and try to take his share.

  ive also known some parents who had children who were addicts........... parents owned a construction company and the company was managed by some lawyers so it continued to make money after they passed......... but due to their daughters problems she had to take a drug test to get her monthly stipend. she had a place to stay but thats it............. everything else she had to pay for weekly or montly and if she showed up hot........... she didnt get that money instead it went to a local charity.

  lots of reasons to withold or delay inheritance.

  on a personal note.......... i hope that my parents use up every single dime they have before they die.......... cause they could be worth 100 billion and id spend it all to have them back............ even tho they are currently shunning me. i got my guns......... i got pictures of everyone............... i dont need anything else from them.......... except their love
• 

  aquagirl

  L.O.L. at Horrible Life!!!!!!!
• 

  aquagirl

  Um,I mean,at her comment....
• 

  FlyingHighNow

  • Would you give all of your children equal portions--completely regardless of behavior and/or attitude toward you?

  Yes, equal, by all means.

  • Would you take into account anything they have done to deserve something "above and beyond"?

  I might. But then I would give a standard inheritance to each and then a private amount beyond that for the deserving child. I say private because it would cause less hurt and problems for all the family involved.

  • Is a child always entitled to an inheritance? (I don't mean legally, I mean, in your opinion)

  Yes, I think so. Some kids might need for their inheritance to be tied up in a trust fund with specific guidelines though. Families should never use disinheritance to punish, hurt or shame children.

  • Is it love to give an inheritance unconditionally?

  Depends on what you mean by unconditionally. If a kid is likely to squander his inheritance on drugs or worse, then it only seems loving to me to protect the child's inheritance.

  • Is it love (in a certain form) to withhold or limit an inheritance? If so, under what conditions?

  Unless the kid is very successful on his/her own, I do think it's unloving to withhold an inheritance. You don't have to hand a person tons of money. You can make sure the money's in trust and someone helps them manage the money. That said, you should give them at least a little money to enjoy as they want to.
• 

  bikerchic

  Would you give all of your children equal portions--completely regardless of behavior and/or attitude toward you?

  Yes.

  Would you take into account anything they have done to deserve something "above and beyond"?

  No.

  Is a child always entitled to an inheritance? (I don't mean legally, I mean, in your opinion)

  No.

  Is it love to give an inheritance unconditionally?

  Love has nothing to do with it, it's an example you set for your children and their children and so on. What kind of an example do you want to be to your family members? If you leave it to all of them unconditionally and they have the responsibility to distribute things evenly trust that they will do so and honor you in the doing. Otherwise sit down and make a long drawn out list of whom will get what.

  Is it love (in a certain form) to withhold or limit an inheritance? If so, under what conditions?

  Again love has nothing to do with inheriting property of your deceased love one. It's either the family or the State and I would much rather have it go to family than the Government any day.
• 

  bebu

  I really appreciate everyone's input. Other folks' input is still welcome, of course!

  I'm thinking about how difficult it is to decide this issue, since there are good reasons both for and against leaving someone out of a will, or cutting back/giving extra.

  For example, I don't think I would be able to leave money to a person who would absolutely squander it--someone who has a gambling problem or a meth problem or who just LOVES to donate to the WTS, for example. I guess a trust fund that regulates disbursement, with behavior requirements, or use requirements, would be a good option.

  If one child gave a great deal of help, above and beyond other children, I would feel inclined to give extra. Perhaps I would make it clear that it was to be considered as overdue wages, not really part of the inheritance.

  If a child has caused a great financial strain on us because of behavior problems, I think I would explain that their share has been adjusted for that reason.

  I see a lot of tension between unconditional love and justice, and also my perceived responsibility. It's a hard thing to untangle. There's a lot of emotions involved too, so I think it's hard to be sure...

  Any other perspectives?

  bebu