You might be wondering, when I respond to a lovelorn person in love with a Witness, why I never say "run"! Believe, me, I understand the huge personal cost when a non-witness gets seriously involved with a Witness. In my situation, I have a lot of mitigating factors that allow me to take greater risks. We won't be raising children together. I won't have to worry about losing a child to lack of blood or lack of familial affection. Hey, I'm working in year seven with very mixed results. Christmas is always a chore, when it should be a joy. There are so many things I am giving up, with very little hope of return.
When I see someone who is DATING a Witness, and that Witness has consistently run back to their religion in fits of guilt, has NOT introducted their partner to their Witness family, and the couple are of childbearing age, I try and get the person to see the writing on the wall. While they - patiently - wait for their Witness love to come to their senses, they may lose the most fruitful period of their life. Also, nobody should ever give up their PERSONHOOD to become a Witness. They should never study in the hopes of winning their partners.
So WHY DON'T I SAY RUN? Because those who are sick in love can't hear it. I sneak up to the concept by clarifying their choices, and by giving them a realistic picture of the immense EFFORT required to bring a Witness partner around. Are they ready to sacrifice many, many productive years for an uncertain outcome? Because at the end of the day, you can't force anyone OUT of their religion if they are firmly planted in their delusions.
WHERE I WILL SUPPORT that superhuman effort, is when there is an established family. In that case, your partner and your children deserve your best efforts.
I'll tell you a story that might help illustrate my gentle approach.
I had a friend who was an au pair from Australia. While she was in this country, she became pregnant by a rape, and she decided to keep the baby. She badly wanted to stay in this country because of the opportunities, but our government was just as eager to send her home. Those of us who were supporting her and advising her were wondering if it might not be better for her to return as well. At home at least she had a mom waiting to support her in her early months. But the girl was adamant. She wanted to make it on her own.
So I decided to support her in her decision. A single parent myself, I knew in detail the amount of effort that was needed. "All right", I said, "Let's make a list of the things you will need." She was an au pair you see, so she had room and board all covered while she was in Canada. That would all change when she had her baby. She would be completely on her own. I started with the kitchen and the utensils and cutlery. Then I talked about the staples to pack her pantry. The initial investment would be a bit, I explained, spices and such added up. I filled a page with the basic supplies she would need to strike on her own. She deflated. She took the list, and thanked me. Within weeks she had decided to fly home.
So, instead of advising to "run"! I rather like to detail the amount of effort that is required. I get them to think about how long this is all going to take. Especially if the object of their desire has ALREADY REJECTED THEM, I remind them that they have to respect their wishes. We all have that free will, after all. We shouldn't manipulate people in to choices that they wouldn't make on their own.
So if you are going to advise, "run"!, tell the poor person why. Give details of your personal experience. Make sure they understand the depth of the consequences once the rosy colored glasses come off.