Save My Soul™ aka Spiritual Prostitution

by Paralipomenon 7 Replies latest jw friends

  • Paralipomenon
    Paralipomenon

    I've always considered myself an astute entrepreneur and in the process of reading the forums this week I was struck by a brilliant niche market that has very little competition.

    What is that? Why the soul saving business of course!

    I have a ripe heathen soul that is prime for salvation, and there are so many people out there looking to save people's souls! How can this idea fail?

    Each week I can auction off my soul to the highest bidder, then I can listen to the auction winner's religious pitch, perform whatever penance your religious faith requires and we can pray together.

    I get salvation, and you get a spiritual notch in your belt that will ensure a better place in your afterlife. Win/Win!

    Who can bid?

    Anyone! My soul is pretty tarnished by all religious views, and I have a knack for sin, so if you don't win the first auction just hang around, I'll be ready for a conversion again within a matter of days.

    So who wants first crack?

    I also cater to spiritual fetishes.

    Have you ever dreamed of converting a blasphemer?
    ...a satanist?
    ...an atheist?
    ...an agnostic?

    I'm your heathen! I can even retain my previous religion and you can feel extra pious that you have converted a competing faith.

    ***SPECIAL RATE FOR DUO'S WITH NVR... CONVERT TWO HEATHENS AT ONCE***

    Bidding may commence immediately.

  • Bobbi
    Bobbi

    Sweety, you can't offer something up for bid that you don't own. I have all the rights to your soul.


    Bobbi

    PS: Please send all bids to me!! Time to off load this sinner!

  • AWAKE&WATCHING
    AWAKE&WATCHING

    Funny stuff - I swear you should put this on e-bay and make some money. Sell your soul.

  • BFD
    BFD

    bobbi, I still have 5 Canadian dollars left from my trip up there.

    Is there a minimum bid?

    BFD

  • Satanus
    Satanus

    It could also be called soul rental, a week at a time.

    S

  • Bobbi
    Bobbi

    SOld to BFD!!!!! Wow that is a whole lot more than I expected to get. Bobbi

  • BFD
    BFD

    COME TO POPPA ! We got some worshiping to do.

    ROFLMGDAO !

    BFD

  • erynw
    erynw

    BFD, don't look down, your thingy fell off.

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