Nice post Eman.
It got me thinking, and I think you are right.
When I first started posting on xJW boards (at Tishie’s), I initially used my Yahoo! Handle, gylesw.
But I was going through a period of rapid change. Coming into contact with xJW’s through the Internet caused a great leap forward in my development as a human since leaving the cult. I was expressing very vocally the realisations I had regarding the existence of god, evolution, creation, the Society itself.
As I have an x-wife raising my two daughters and stepson as JW’s, and all the dozen or so members of my immediate family are JW’s, I was mindful of the problems this might cause if my posts were viewed by anyone I knew. My dad being a fairly well-known Elder in London increased my ‘risk of exposure’. I had maintained fairly good relations with my family after I had walked away and didn’t want to sour them.
Thus I started posting under this handle.
Now recently I had an interchange of emails with my dad. He sent me some altered jpgs to do with Sept 11th. Bush in a turban, an Islamic version of the New York skyline, the Statue of Liberty with a veil, that sort of stuff. I said I didn’t think they were really funny. I said the attacks had very little to do with any common concept of Islam, just as killing abortion clinic workers had very little to do with any common concept of Christianity, but both sets thought they were right, even though they demonstrably weren’t, and that ethnicity had bugger all to do with it.
He came back with the Great Tribulation speech, segued into the Prodigal Son lecture, along with the cherished misconception that I still really believed, and I just didn’t want to go there.
So I said that I didn’t believe for a variety of reasons, but that I didn’t feel comfortable having this discussion, as he was free to express himself about his opinions, but I didn’t feel I was free to express mine.
I said that although I didn’t think they loved me any less for walking away, I didn’t want to put them in a situation where they had a conflict of loyalty between me and the Organisation. Me expressing views contrary to the Society’s, or even disagreeing with them would cause them a conflict or at the least embarrassment as dissent was not allowed by the Organisation.
I am not ashamed of what I am or what I believe, but I am willing to take measures to maintain good relations with my family who are influenced by a high-control group, even if that means saying I won’t discuss it with them because it’s against their principles to listen to dissent. If you had a friend who went mad when you said ‘red’, you’d not say red, would you? You’d be the responsible one, ‘cause they weren’t.
If they want to know, then all they have to be is willing to discuss the details of what I believe without freaking over the fact I don’t agree.
And if they ‘come looking for me’, or stumble across me here, well then they are already dissenting themselves by roaming such a ‘den-of apostates’, and are already showing an interest in the details of dissent rather than fear at the very thought.
Now, I am very attached to this handle. It’s a bad pun (‘a bad one’ in a London accent), mystical bollocks (angel of the abyss), and a cool character from Julian May’s ‘Goldon Torc‘ series. I am also a bit ‘old school’ as I started on the Internet when you still had BBS systems running over Telnet, and everyone had fantastical handles in those days.
But I’m gonna put my real name in my profile, Gyles Julian Hawkins Williams (there can be only one), and if I sign off a post, I’ll use my real name.
I can do this because of where I am now. I don’t think anyone should do it unless they feel it’s right for them, as they may not be there yet, but that’s not a criticism of them, just a matter of time and personal development.
I notice you imply the same Mike, by saying ‘established posters’. Very good point, and thank you again.
My girlfriend was never a Jdub, and she, when we were discussing this, made one additional good point for anonymity. She felt that it was very liberating for her to be sexless and faceless on the Internet, for what she said to be taken on the value of what was said, and that also, if someone wants to be anonymous then they’ve a perfect right to do so, even if they go to the same site for ten years.
I do agree, but for me, I’m Abaddon now ‘cause I like the handle, not ‘cause I want to be anonymous anymore. You know my name.
Keep on rocking in the free world...
